Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, March 9, 2015

So many thoughts

At the moment I have so many thoughts in my head I feel like I need to write them out.
First off, today I have felt really sad for some reason. Too many thoughts i guess. I've kept telling myself to think positive. Be happy but I haven't been able to do that, not so far anyway. My thoughts have controlled my emotions. First off its my friends, it feels like as soon as I got a boyfriend my friends have stopped inviting me to things like brunches, meeting in town, dinners etc it's not that I don't want to or that I have said I can't.  It's just that I haven't been invited because they presume I will be with A. This makes me super sad.... I am not the type of friend who will just ignore my friends because I have a boyfriend, it's more the other way around. :( so when I found out about the brunches they have planned and the game nights and dinners I have missed it made me feel so lonely. I am sure it's nothing personal and they just thought I would be with A and yes I was,  but if I am invited somewhere and I want to go, then I will go.

Then I am also feeling very overwhelmed and unecsivive about autumn and after graduation. I have been set on studying nutrition and then taking courses about exercise so that I can then help people find balance and health in their life. But I am feeling so overwhelmed with work and the course I want to go and the 1 year preparation year I have to go will be lots and lots of work.  But then I'm thinking. .... do I really want to spend the rest of my life trying to teach others about health and balance?  It feels like so many people don't want to listen, they don't want to change. They argue everything they are told and it gets exhausting.... just trying to help people and it takes alot of energy.  But then I also love helping people. Helping people with their health and finding balance. It makes me happy knowing that i can make a difference because people are so unknown.... living with false information and oblivious to health. and balance. 

This is something I'm thinking about at the moment,how long will I blog? It feels like I'm getting far too much critique and I'm giving too much energy, draining me of energy instead of being something that gives me energy. I do put pressure on myself to really try to help everyone but it's not easy. Getting so many emails all the time and I really want to help you all. But at the same time I am not a doctor, a therapist or qualified. Blogging is neither a job or something I get paid for. It is something I do to try to help others, but a diagnosis as well as professional help is needed and that is what I suggest 100% of the time. To go to a doctor,  to get help and support. There is only so much I can do.
Alot of thoughts,  things I need to think about, consider. Find my motivation for school, work, my future, blogging.

9 comments:

  1. Hi Izzy,

    I know what you're talking about with your friends. They just assume that you are with your b/f and don't have time for them anymore. And as you said, you shouldn't take it personally. Do your friends know A? If so, why don't you hang out together? If not, why don't you introduce him to them? That might help maybe.
    Concerning the workload of your upcoming year, I know it may seem unbearable at the beginning. Just take one thing at a time. You'll see you'll just be fine. When I think of all the stuff I will have to learn once I start my training - I would never start it! It is so much I have to do and many things I already know. It's necessary to not get stressed out about this and as I said before take things one at a time. and don't feel pressured into always being there for those you want to help. First of all it is important that you are there for yourself. You're such an inspiration to so many people and I think nobody would be angry or offended when you cut back on blogging or whatever. To me, it is perfectly ok if you don't want to read about my problems and stuff. You need to feel ok with what you do for other people. And as long as you feel comfortable, everything is fine.
    Well, that's only my opinion. You might not agree or think that what I just wrote is crap. Maybe it is, I don't know. I'm so thankful that I found your blog and I wish you all the best! I'm sure you can do it in autumn!

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    1. Thank you so much, your comment was very helpful and insightful as well as calming!!! :)

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  2. Your blog has enough information on it now as it is - if you stopped blogging your previous posts would still be a life saver! Keep that in mind: even if you were to blog once an day or even once a month, everything you have written about that is already on your blog will help! If criticism is too much on you, then try shutting down the comment section for a while and see if you feel better about it :) Don't be so hard on yourself, hun <3

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  3. Dear Izzy,

    Its only today. Tomorrow will be a better day :) About the friends thing, maybe you try inviting them to go out to town or something. Once they know that you are still interested in them, they might understand that their assumption is wrong and that you still want to hang out with them.
    I know how you feel about knowing what to study in university. I'm on the same boat. But does anyone our age really know what they want to do for the rest of their life? I dont think so. Everyone is kind of doubting themselves at this point. The future worries everyone, especially when everyone puts pressure on you and expect you to know what you want. Believe it or not we are still young. Not everyone will end up studying what they are completely passionate about. But your job does not define who you are. So if you think you like travelling, or writing more than helping others, do it! You will always find time to do what you are passionate about :)
    As for blogging. Maybe a solution could be that it doesnt have to be a one sided conversation. We can help and support and encourage each other. You dont have to be the one always proposing solutions and helping. It is actually nice, at least for me, to talk, support and encourage people.

    You have done so much for everyone that no one would mind if you took some time to just think. But remember that tomorrow will be a new day. A better day. And that the people that you have supported through this blog will be forever thankful for your wisdom and support. Never forget or underestimate that because you have changed lives for people that do want to change. <3333 Some people just argue because they want to be right and they dont want to lose an argument and seem vulnerable when you advise them ;) LOVE YOUUUU


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    1. Naaw thank you so much! Your words of wisdom are so kind!! Thank you .:)

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  5. But... a while ago you defended taking food pictures by saying you receive compensation for them, among others, so how do you not make money off this? No hate just curious O.o

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    1. I get products and such and i have sponsorships with companies. Though they are with companies i agree with and not just for products.

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