Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Making a change and overcoming fear

Making a change and overcoming fear is something which is very scary for most people. People want comfort, the usual and stepping outside of their comfort zone can lead to anxiety and nerves as well as uncomfortable feelings (Hence comfort zone). And facing a fear is nerve wracking, anxiety filled... its a fear for a reason whether its a rational or irrational fear, that doesn't take away the fact that it is a fear.

So it's easy for me to sit here behind my screen and repeat face the fear. Step outside of your comfort zone.
  You might read them and think, they are just words. They dont apply to you. Its too scary to make a change, too scary to face the fears. And yes IT IS. And the reason i remind and tell you all that you should do those things is because i have done them myself.... and that has lead to positivity, to  a better life. Because living a life of fear or a life filled with rules and routines which can't be broken because then you experience anxiety - that is not a life. That is just surviving.

Sometimes i wonder how i managed to break free from my eating disorder, how i managed to face my fears and do the things that scared me. It was not a one time thing, its not that i just woke up one morning and everything was easy or that i magically recovered over night. It was a process of everyday, no matter how tough the day was, i still sat down and ate my meals. I had to physically and mentally glue myself to a chair to keep me resting. I had to distract myself with puzzles, series, jewelry making to keep me from going crazy out of boredom or anxiety or guilt. The days that were tougher, the days i wanted to lie on the ground and give up, they were the days that made me stronger because i pushed through them. Even after my relapse i kept going. I could have spiraled down again, ended up back in Mando 2012 but instead i choose to once again stand up and keep fighting, not knowing what awaited me. Still having to face fears, still having to close my eyes and take the actual leap to full recovery and completely letting go of my eating disorder. That step isnt easy, because there are so many questions with no answers, so much is unknown but you just want control and answers. That is why i blog, to try to give you those answers... some form of answers anyway even if they dont always apply to everyone as everyone is different. But to try to help comfort you in the process of recovery, so that you dont feel so alone or un the unknown. But instead, making it easier to face your fears and overcome what is holding you back.
To fully recover you need to do the things that scare you, fight your fears, not let your eating disorder control you. All through life there will be fears, there will be times you need to step outside of your comfort zone and you need to learn to be able to do that. You need to know that the tough days make you stronger as long as you keep going. And the most important - to keep going. Its not like you face a fear once and its gone, you need to face it several times until it no longer provokes anxiety or is a fear any more.

So when i write Face your fears or Step outside of your comfort zone, they are not just empty words. But i mean them.... to try to remind you and help you that that is exactly what you need to do. Of course, its easy for me to just write them... but I have faced many fears and done many things that have scared me throughout my life and i still continue to do those things. Infact 2015 i have stepped out of my comfort zone MANY times and faced small fears of mine and i am still standing on my two feet and still living. Nothing bad has happened, if anything it has just set me more free as i realise i am stronger than i think and that always living in my comfort zone was holding me back and that it's not as bad as i thought to do something different and new!!!

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