First thing is first - if you like things the way they are... there would be no thoughts of change. If you dream about how things could be different, you imagine what life would be like to be healthy and not have an eating disorder. Then DONT let that voice in your head convince you that you dont need to change or that you are happy where you are in life? Because obviously you arent if you are wishing and wandering for things to change. But its not enough to think, you need to act.
Yes, recovery is hard. Yes its tough, yes you might relapse. Yes you might want to give up. But it is worth it. You need to stop listening to that voice in your head that tries to tell you that you arent sick, you arent sick enough, you arent skinny enough, you dont need help, you dont need to recover etc because that voice is lying to you. Its that voice that will eventually lead to your death if you keep listening to it.
So fight against that voice. There is so much more to life.
You DONT and SHOULDNT want to be sick. Your aim should not be to be the sickest person or the skinniest person. What do you achieve from that? Not health or happiness anyway, all you are doing is throwing away your life. You have one life, so why not live it? Live a life you can truly enjoy and be proud over.
Stop giving yourself reasons why you shouldnt or cant recover, instead give yourself 99 reasons every morning why you can and should recover. Because trust me, for each reason why you cant or shouldnt recover (that your ED tries to whisper to you), there are 5 reasons why you SHOULD and CAN recover. So find those reasons and remind yourself of them everyday.
Just incase you needed a head start on that list of reasons to recover: