Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, March 21, 2015

Guest post - Julia @ Lord Still loves me

Hi everyone! My name is Julia and I blog over at Lord Still Loves Me 

Izzy was kind enough to allow me to guest post on her blog, and I wanted to choose a good topic. Today I wanted to chat about weight redistribution, as it is something I often worried about! 
One of the main concerns that I often get emailed about, and one of the main concerns that I personally struggled with is the weight gain. It’s inevitable and it is necessary in order to establish a full recovery, but that certainly does not make it easy.

Initially, I was astounded by the amount of bloating I would experience each day. On some occasions, I could have passed for a pregnant lady! To make matters worse, no weight was going to my arms, specifically my shoulder blades. Though, I do need to be mindful that my clouded mind probably made it out to be worse than it actually was. Either way, it was difficult for me to continue to eat at least 3,000 calories a day knowing that my stomach was going to expand.
The distribution of the weight I was rapidly gaining was uneven, and it completely infuriated me. My mom had to constantly remind me that I was beautiful and that what I was doing was right. She told me it would go away and everything would balance out. I would nod my head and wipe the tears away, but there was still a little demonized thought stuck in the back of my head that thought it was all a lie.
My mind would play tricks on me to get me to think that I would forever look this way. Many nights were spent crying over my new body that had come to me during recovery, and I could not stand to think about gaining even more weight. However, I kept going on this path and decided to give recovery my all. After all, I could already focus more, clothes were actually beginning to fit (though I was not pleased with what I looked like), and I was eating many more types of food.
Once I finally reached the weight that my parents thought would be a good base weight for me to stay above, I began to really work on my self-image. I knew from research that in can take up to 18 months for the body to “go back to normal,” and that now, my body was adding weight to places it desperately needed it to go. All of my vital organs are in the stomach region, of course the weight will go there! That’s where the energy is necessary. I kept that information at the forefront of my mind and often used it as my mantra. I knew that as long as I kept my eating strong and did not overdo it on exercise, eventually things would all normalize.
Well, I am now a YEAR (wow, I cannot believe it), into being weight restored, and I can honestly say that weight redistribution is a thing. In fact, I now weigh about 15(ish) pounds more than that goal weight (I gave up the scale so I am not entirely sure) originally set by my parents, and I can still see the redistribution. That first goal weight was way too low for MY body, though at the time, we did not realize it. That is why BMI is so meaningless when it comes to recovery!

In the above picture, I actually weigh approximately 20 more pounds in the blue swimsuit than I do in the red suit. It may not be too noticeable to others, but for me, I am astounded at the difference between the two pictures! Now, I obviously look fine in both pictures, and in no way do I look chubby or fat at all in the first picture- so please do not take it this way.
I really just wanted to provide some hope to those of you who are in the thick of it now. Your body will find its happy place if you continue to remain steadfast in your recovery. On the days where you feel like you cannot handle the bloat, remember that distribution will occur. Right now, your body is handling things in a strategic fashion: it’s giving extra care to the places it needs it most. Your body is making you healthy again! After so much damage, this is a wonderful thing.
Initially, you may experience some bloating, but that is okay! The bloating will dissipate the longer you continue to eat adequate amounts. As of right now, your body might be not used to the larger amount of calories, and that is perfectly normal. Keep in mind that everyone bloats- there is no way around it. My brother bloats, I bloat, my best friend bloats: it is 100% normal and it will be around for the rest of your life. I do not say that to scare, but rather to encourage that others around probably do not notice such a small difference in your stomach region!

If you are really concerned with the bloating, there are a few things that you can do that may help, but they are not necessarily foolproof:
  • Avoid eating too many foods with fiber: I am not one for telling people to avoid certain food types, but fiber has been shown to increase bloating. This does not mean to avoid it completely, but if you can, go for white pasta instead of whole wheat.
  • Do not exercise: I know this sounds counterproductive for reducing bloat, but the more you stick to recovery, the faster things will go. Also, in my personal experience, I had more bloat on the days that I was exercising. Once I gave up exercise, I found the bloat went down dramatically. I also believe others in recovery have experienced similar results!
  • Wear baggy clothing: I was all about the leggings, dresses, and loose shirts throughout recovery. They are easy to make look cute, and you don’t need to worry about tight clothing.
  • Drink tea: I know I have seen all over the internet that tea helps with bloating, but I don’t know if there is any medical evidence of this. Also, I don’t like tea particularly, so I cannot personally advocate for this. But try it, and it might help!
  • Love yourself: Your body is working hard for you. It deserves a lot of respect. Also, take care of your mental state. If you are having an exceedingly difficult day, maybe stay in bed of an hour and catch up on your favorite book or show.
So, with all that said, stay strong. Your body is a masterpiece that is currently under construction. You should love yourself at every stage. That may be excruciatingly tough, but recovery is not just a physical process. While people focus on the exterior problems, there is a huge element of mental awareness here. The bloating will pass, but try to accept yourself with the bloat!
This is just a phase of your life, you can get past it!


  1. Thank you Izzy for posting my blog! I really appreciate you helping me share my story. :)

  2. Thank YOU, Julia!! You are amazing. God has great plans for you. We are all children of God... but you are an earth angel. :) <3

  3. Wow, you can be so proooooud Julia =) Your progress is so aaaamazing and inspiring ;) I really loved checking out your blog, it really is wonderful :) and it helpes me staying motivated and showing recovery really is possible ;) :-* xxx

  4. Thank you, Julia. It was interesting to see the change in weight distribution in pictures. I can't understand where the weight went, though. You look slimmer all over in blue bikini in my eyes. But that is great.

  5. Thank you so much for taking the time to write thus blog. This stage of recovery is so hard. This is exactly what I needed to hear. :) Email me I would love to chat.