Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Everyone has their struggles - my thoughts

Could you maybe write an entry about how you feel that your past kind of separates you from your peers?
I remember you mentioning that you feel older than your age.
I kind of feel the same way and I would love to read your thoughts about that.

For a long time, because of my past, i have felt different from my friends. And i still do to some level as 1) I am older than them because of having missed 2 years of school but also because i feel that i grew up so early. I have been through more struggles and tough times in my short time on life than some people will face in their life time. I always felt like i was different, i had my secret past as well as my CF which i havent talked about either. I couldnt laugh as easily as the others, i didnt feel as  i was free and had no problems like the others.

However, i have now learnt and realised that everyone has their struggles and problems. It's easy to think that you are the only one who is struggling, the only one who is going through tough times and that no one else understands or knows how it feels like. And no, someone else might never be able to fully understand your situation, feelings and thoughts, but that doesnt mean that you are the only one going through those feelings. There are people in my class who have also suffered from depression, who have self harmed, people who deal with anxiety disorder and another who gets panic attacks due to stress or other reasons. One of my friends also has diabetes.

Everyone has their struggles, have been through things which have been tough. Of course, maybe not everyone has at this stage in their life but it's easy to presume that everyone elses life is so easy whilst your own is so hard and everything bad happens to you. But life is what you make it.... if you choose to make your life better, then you should feel no need to want to change life because you live a happy one even if there are tough times.

However, back to the question. At times i guess i can feel a little different, feel like because of my past and the fact that i dont talk about my past i can feel misunderstood. Because what i have been through has made me who i am today, not to mention that i blog everyday and have my whole blogging and social media network to take care of everyday which my friends and others dont know about so it just looks like i am typing really fast on essays all the time or that i spend too much time on my phone, when in actuality i am doing something productive and helping others. And of course, i do feel older than my age to some extent, not as much anymore as i have grown up and am thinking and acting more like my age. At times i can feel like there is a small seperation between my friends and I, because i am a little heldback and can be a little quiet. But that is what makes me, that is my personality even if it has been shaped by my past. 
  I dont really feel that there is any seperation - not so much anyway - now a days. As i have been healthy for so long, so its not like i just spent 2 months in inpatient hospital and each time someone mentions what they did 4 weeks ago all i think about is how i was in hospital then..... Now I am healthy, i live a normal life and my past doesnt define me. So i believe that just as you begin to live a healthier life after your eating disorder you can feel that there is more of a seperation between you and others because you are carrying around your past and what you have been through and you make yourself feel different. But remember, that there are others who have gone through struggles and you would be surprised at the amount of people who do struggle with eating disorders if you were in a big room filled with strangers. So it can help if you think, everyone has gone through something but that doesnt us different, we are all humans and we have are tough times. But the important thing is that we keep going :)


  1. You are lovely :) This blog is very helpful.

  2. I feel exactly like that! Due to my health and having missed several years out of education, I feel like i'm a lot older than anyone - especially having been through so much.

    Yet, now in recovery I am catching-up (& should be back in education soon), and getting on with 'normal' life - -I am feeling more like everyone else again & less 'disconnected'.

    I suppose the hard times make us who we are, and although I am moving on and living life again, it will be something that has made me 'me'.

    1. Exactly! It makes you who you are... and we are all unique and different anyway :)

  3. Izzy - i have injured my back running. I am normally very active like you - workout 6 days a week, lots of activity and outdoors activity. I have to rest, im finding it so hard and feeling so guilty about eating. Any advice?

    1. Ive answered this in a post coming up today, which i hope helps you :)

  4. Does A know about your CF? And does he know anything about your blogging? :)

  5. omgg.. you are so strong!! keep going :)