Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Eating even though others aren't hungry

Did you eat the nutella?
Yes, i had a bit of it anyway :)

You look so skinny do you think you have lost weight? :s 
I dont weigh myself so i wouldn't know, however i don't personally see a difference so i don't think so :)

do you eat the same amount when you are with A? 
I dont count calories so i wouldnt know in that sense but with the amount, no most probably not. We eat at very strange times and just make simple food most of the time. I dont have my regular big snacks when i am with him, instead i eat snacks like questbars, nuts, dark chocolate, popcorn, ice cream, vegetables, left over dinner/lunch etc  My food intake is pretty balanced and i think it all works itself out anyway, somedays i might eat less and somedays i eat more because its like those days when i eat less then the following day i am super hungry and can eat lots. So it balances itself out, and its nothing extremely different :) 

Does he eat alot? Do you feel embarrassed eating alot or when you are hungry and he isnt. .. sometimes I want to eat but my friends aren't hungry so then I don't eat. :(

Hmmm... quantatity wise he doesnt eat alot, but energy wise i guess he does. I dont really analyze or think so much about what he eats. But i definitely eat more quantatity wise. While i would fill my plate with salad, chicken and pasta he would fill it with pasta, cheese and a little chicken. Though he is tall, skinny and has a super fast metabolism!! 

But onto your second question Not eating because your friends/family aren't hungry. I know those feelings, when i was in recovery i would feel hungry during my regular meal times or sometimes even inbetween meals. It was awful as well when i had extreme hunger while i was at home because then i just wanted to eat everything, but if i was out doing something with my mum or sister i never wanted to admit i was hungry as i saw that as a sign of weakness. I would never admit i was hungry or craving something, i hated buying food as well as i felt that i was being judged by the person behind the cashier. Food was something i still saw as bad, i couldnt admit that my body needed it and that my mind wanted it. But i had to realise that eating is normal ,everyone does it and hunger is nothing to be ashamed of. When people tell me i eat alot now or that i am always hungry, i just laugh and say yeah.... I mean what else am i going to say? Explain why i am hungry, feel embarrassed about it? No... i dont need to do that and you don't need to do that either.

First off you need to realise, dont be ashmaed or embarrassed because you are hungry. That is a sign that your body needs fuel and energy and so you need to give it energy. Who cares if your family or friends arent hungry at the same time, i know it can feel weird if you suddenly pull out a bar from your bag and begin eating whilst everyone else sits there. But i can promise you, there will be ATLEAST 1 (if not more or all of them) who will sit there and envy that you are eating. It always happens!! It's not strange to eat, it's normal and nothing you need to feel anxiety over. If you are out in town or doing something and you dont have food with you but are hungry, then suggest you go buy something to eat and if they say you arent hungry then i suggest if there is a store nearby, go buy yourself something to eat. Remember everyone is individual, just because someone else isnt hungry doesnt mean that you cant be hungry... i mean, if they jump off a cliff are you going to do that as well just because others did it? No, i sure hope you wouldnt. Be individual, be YOU, listen to YOUR body.

So if you're hungry, eat or buy something to eat. There might be someone else who follows your lead and relaises they are hungry as well. For some weird reason society seems to tell us that it is weird to eat, but eating is a basic human need, so if your tummy is rumbling, then its time for a snack!