Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Accept your weight gain and love yourself

One thing which i get asked almost daily, is how to deal with weight gain, and how to love 
yourself/like your body image again.

And i know how hard it is to gain weight, both physically and mentally. Most people think that it is 
so easy to gain weight,and maybe at first it feels like you gain 2kg a day, but that is not the case. (Though yes
 i amaware that some people gain weight more quickly than others, but that is due to many different
 factorswhich i am not going to get into here. But in general, weight gain is not a super quick thing 
unless you massively overeat or you have other issues/problems making you gain weight quickly)
Weight gain is a slow process and involves increasing calories over a longer period of time....
The most important thing with coping with your weight gain is, accepting that you are going 
to gain weight. There isnt a way out of it. No matter how much you try, or try to trick with the scale, 
avoid eating etc etc That is not helping YOU. Because gaining weight, that is for YOUR health.
 Not for anyone else,but for YOU.
And dont see it as just gaining weight. 
More like, gaining freedom, gaining life, gaining strength, gaining happiness.

Another tips is to get rid of your too small clothes.... they dont need to lie around your house... 
they dont need to be reminders of something you want to forget. Instead, look forward to buying 
new clothes that fit and look good on you!

Dont compare yourself to others, focus on yourself. Dont look at magazines where all they write
 about is diets and weight. 
Avoid diet/weightloss shows. And dont look at fitspo/thinspo... those aren't going to make you feel

Another tips is to find something which you love doing, and spend your time doing that. 
Something which makes you happy and makes life worth living. Trying new things, doing fun things... 
that is all part of recovery.
But it is also a good way to socialize, to feel happy and realise that life isnt all about the way you 
look.... its about living.
  So dont just sit inside feeling awful about your body. Instead, step out of your comfort zone,
 do things which might scare you.... start living life!

Say positive things to yourself... be kind towards yourself. Even if it may sound strange, or feel 
weird but Compliment  yourself!!! Saying positive things, and thinking positive = positive energy 
and good things happen... or thats what i believe anyway!


  1. Hi,

    Since 1st feb till today: +3 kilos !!!
    Managed to now eat 1900 cal and still increasing each week !

    To be honest I would have thought that I would gain 100000000 kilos with that much calories

    Friday I will be hitting the fateful 2kcal ! I have never never ever ever pushed my limits to this figure
    in fact I never went beyond 1400 !!!

    Have been flipping through a beauty magazine and saw a picture of model Crystal Renn & Kate Dillon Levin (former anorectic)
    I stared at her speachless...I mean they are "real" women, just gorgerous

    It is outragous to labbel them as a "plus-size model" or "plus model" to distinguish from "classical models"
    not to mention that most runway models meet the BMI criteria for anorexia !

    should review thoses labels "plus size" should become "classic" and "classic" become "underweight" and to be able to use them, designers and agency should pay a significant, discouraging fine...

    Then in the toilets i saw myself...scary...made me want to look like those + size models, with curves ...and say to the whole world the big F word !

    But still it would mean I would have to gain over 20 kilos !!!
    Hum ....ouch instant bad bad bad second thoughts

    1. Its great that you are increasing your calories!! This is what your body needs, i hope you reached your goal of 2000kcal on Friday :) Think of how beautiful you thought those women were... but it also shows you just how messed up society and the 'ideal' body is. Because like you said, those bodes arent plus size. They are just normal healthy bodies.
      Your body needs to gain weight, if you are underweight just like it needs food, always. I had to gain 20kg from my lowest weight to my lowest healthy weight and since then ive even gained 6-7kg which is from strength training and so. But i didnt look fat from gaining those 20kg, i was a healthy weight and my body could function properly! So keep facing your fears and keep increasing your intake as well as trying to gain weight each week. But also fight your mental thoughts, fears and anxieties!

  2. I am so terrified of weight gain, never ending weight gain. Sometimes I think I am afraid to be me, but what am I without my illness? I am nobody to be proud of and I am afraid that if I recover I will lose somebody very important for me: my husband, my mum, they are all I have. Anorexia tells me that recovery is selfish and that I am not worth living healthy and in happiness. Can't stop her voice in my head.