Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Chocolate cravings

Today has been such a strange day, i have felt this negative cloud over my head all day. Felt irritated by people and people making too much noise or just behaving immaturely. I did not want to go to school today, i really had to push past all my feelings and thoughts that screamed 'i dont want to' when heading to school today. Today wasnt a particularly hard day, i guess i just feel so school tired. I dont want to be in school, i dont want to have lessons, i dont want to have assignments. But i reminded myself that it is only 2 days left now and then i have my break and then i can relax, sleep and do other things. So it is just to push through these last 2 days even if they are tough.

After school to cheer me up and satisfy my chocolate cravings i bought myself 2 chocolates and with the help of my sister both were gone in a short matter of time :) Love chocolate! I think Daisy does as well... though of course, she didnt get any as chocolate is bad for dogs :)

She is such a ctuie, she always tries using her 'puppy eyes' so we give her food! XD Its hard to resist her :)

Anyway, i thought i would just write a little update even if i dont have much to say. But i hope you are all doing ok Stay strong no matter what you are going through!!! Things can get better and dont be scared to fight your fears. To step outside of your comfort zone and do something different. If you want things to change then you have to make a change!!!

Requirements to be healthy

hi izzy,
maybe you can write a post about official healing from anorexia. which are 
the conditions for being fully recovered?

Hopefully this will answer your question:

Alot of questions i have gotten over the past few months is how and when do doctors declare you healthy?
  Is it as soon as you reach your healthy weight? How do doctors actually know if you are healthy or not?

What doctors can do is look at your behaviour, ask people who are around you to explain your behaviour.... do you act weird around food or exercise? Are you distant? Very angry? Isolate yourself? Feel weird or do weird things around food like always eating on your own? Does the person experience anxiety around food or change their behaviour when someone mentions going for a pizza or something like that.
  As well as that you, the person who has/had an eating disorder might have to fill in a questionnaire and answer questions about your physical and mental health. This is what i had to do at Mando anyway... though in all honesty, that didnt work so well. Because during one of my lowest points of my eating disorder i had to fill in one of those formulas/questionnaires but i didnt want the staff and doctors to know how much i was struggling so then all my answers came back as normal... like a healthy person would answer, or even better. Though they didnt believe those answers because everything else i.e my behaviour, what my mum said about my behaviour and such as well as my blood tests were all very negative.
   Blood tests are also a way for the doctor to know if your body is healthy or not.... a simple blood test can show whether you are purging or not, whether you are eating enough etc

Though can your doctor know if you are actually healthy or not... no he/she cant. No one else apart from YOU can know that. Because its in YOUR head. Its your thoughts.
  Thats the thing, many people get declared healthy even though they are half recovered because they might have a close to normal weight and behave some what normally but they are still controlled by a voice in their head. And because they are close to, or at their healthy weight then doctors might not care.... they care about the physical. When its actually the mental health which is very important.

Its YOU who has to fight your thoughts, its YOU who has to make sure that you keep fighting even if you are a normal weight. You need to get rid of those thoughts, not let food or weight or exercise or any other fears control you. You cant settle for half recovery and think you are healthy. Because you arent and you are missing out on SO MUCH then.

There were many times during my recovery i tried to beg and plead and convince my case manager and my mum that i was healthy but they didnt believe me. Which i think is a good thing though at the time i hated them. I wasnt healthy, i had fear foods, i had weird behaviour around food, i wasnt a healthy weight, i didnt have my period, resting could cause anxiety at times. I knew i wasnt healthy but my ED didnt want me to go to hospital anymore... it wanted me to be declared healthy so that i could begin losing weight and not eating as much.
   My case manager knew this.... she was a really good person and she knew how to help. She told me, if i was so healthy then why couldnt i gain the weight? I can say no when im actually healthy if i had to gain 2-3kg to have more freedom or for example, if my mum told me i wasnt allowed to run unless i gained another 2-3 kg i could do that and not care. But at that time in 2012, having to gain those 2-3 kg to have a healthy weight scared me. But she gave me an ultimatum... either i gain the weight or i go back to day patients. And that gave me a kick to gain the weight..... and then the next few months it was eating, facing fear foods, resting, beginning to truly live life not just follow routines, waiting for my period to come back, feeling healthier and stronger and happier.
   And the day i was declared healthy i felt both physically and mentally healthy. I had to fill in a questionnaire, take blood samples, eat lunch at Mando and talk to the doctor and answer questions and then he declared me healthy.

Of course since then it was an up and down journey and i did have some dips and bad thoughts, but i just kept getting stronger.

However im getting off topic..... As mentiond, doctors can often just look at the physical and think you are healthy. But YOU have to know whether you are healthy or not. Is there a voice in your head controlling you? Then you arent healthy.

You are healthy when you are no longer controlled by a voice in your head, you are free from negative thoughts about your body, food, weight, calories, exercise and such. When your body is healthy and you can be at peace.

So fight for TRUE recovery. Sometimes doctors are wrong and for your own sake DONT trick the doctor. The doctor, family, therapist etc they are trying to help you. If you arent healthy and still struggling, let them know. Get the help you need. Because in all honesty... what good is it lying to them? Its your life, you are wasting your own life.

Helpful posts:
The difference between healthy and free
Half recovered VS. fully recovered
Eating without guilt

ED recovery problems

You might find these relatable or you might not. I personally find them funny and sometimes you just need to laugh, look at how stupid and controlling and illogical your eating disorder is!

When someone says “You don’t LOOK like you have an eating disorder”

Eating even though others aren't hungry

Did you eat the nutella?
Yes, i had a bit of it anyway :)

You look so skinny do you think you have lost weight? :s 
I dont weigh myself so i wouldn't know, however i don't personally see a difference so i don't think so :)

do you eat the same amount when you are with A? 
I dont count calories so i wouldnt know in that sense but with the amount, no most probably not. We eat at very strange times and just make simple food most of the time. I dont have my regular big snacks when i am with him, instead i eat snacks like questbars, nuts, dark chocolate, popcorn, ice cream, vegetables, left over dinner/lunch etc  My food intake is pretty balanced and i think it all works itself out anyway, somedays i might eat less and somedays i eat more because its like those days when i eat less then the following day i am super hungry and can eat lots. So it balances itself out, and its nothing extremely different :) 

Does he eat alot? Do you feel embarrassed eating alot or when you are hungry and he isnt. .. sometimes I want to eat but my friends aren't hungry so then I don't eat. :(

Hmmm... quantatity wise he doesnt eat alot, but energy wise i guess he does. I dont really analyze or think so much about what he eats. But i definitely eat more quantatity wise. While i would fill my plate with salad, chicken and pasta he would fill it with pasta, cheese and a little chicken. Though he is tall, skinny and has a super fast metabolism!! 

But onto your second question Not eating because your friends/family aren't hungry. I know those feelings, when i was in recovery i would feel hungry during my regular meal times or sometimes even inbetween meals. It was awful as well when i had extreme hunger while i was at home because then i just wanted to eat everything, but if i was out doing something with my mum or sister i never wanted to admit i was hungry as i saw that as a sign of weakness. I would never admit i was hungry or craving something, i hated buying food as well as i felt that i was being judged by the person behind the cashier. Food was something i still saw as bad, i couldnt admit that my body needed it and that my mind wanted it. But i had to realise that eating is normal ,everyone does it and hunger is nothing to be ashamed of. When people tell me i eat alot now or that i am always hungry, i just laugh and say yeah.... I mean what else am i going to say? Explain why i am hungry, feel embarrassed about it? No... i dont need to do that and you don't need to do that either.

First off you need to realise, dont be ashmaed or embarrassed because you are hungry. That is a sign that your body needs fuel and energy and so you need to give it energy. Who cares if your family or friends arent hungry at the same time, i know it can feel weird if you suddenly pull out a bar from your bag and begin eating whilst everyone else sits there. But i can promise you, there will be ATLEAST 1 (if not more or all of them) who will sit there and envy that you are eating. It always happens!! It's not strange to eat, it's normal and nothing you need to feel anxiety over. If you are out in town or doing something and you dont have food with you but are hungry, then suggest you go buy something to eat and if they say you arent hungry then i suggest if there is a store nearby, go buy yourself something to eat. Remember everyone is individual, just because someone else isnt hungry doesnt mean that you cant be hungry... i mean, if they jump off a cliff are you going to do that as well just because others did it? No, i sure hope you wouldnt. Be individual, be YOU, listen to YOUR body.

So if you're hungry, eat or buy something to eat. There might be someone else who follows your lead and relaises they are hungry as well. For some weird reason society seems to tell us that it is weird to eat, but eating is a basic human need, so if your tummy is rumbling, then its time for a snack!

Answers part 4

One - What/who is your icon? 
Me from Midsummer 2013 i think :)
I need to change it though... its so old :)

Three - Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes, and it's awful :( Especially when you feel that you can't do anything about it no matter how hard you try.

6Six - Where do you wish you were right now?
Well right now when i am writing this post it is 5.30pm Monday evening and it is raining outside. If i am honest where i wish i was right now... hiking up to the L.A sign!!! XD I should put that on my bucketlist because that is a goal of mine, and i would love to be out walking or running in a sports bra or shorts somewhere warm right now!

 Nine- Something you do a lot?
Eat!! XD Hahahah. Otherwise, i drink alot of water. I bite my nails... alot :( I think alot, i study alot!!

Ten - Angry at anyone?

Not at the moment anyway :) As mentioned in my answers yesterday, i dont get angry so easy. I prefer to just move on and not let it bother me :)

Twelve - When was the last time you cried?
The fact that i can't even think of the last time i cried despite thinking about it for five minutes or so, shows just how long ago it was!! I don't cry often, infact very rarely! The last time i 'cried' was most probably when i cut onion the last time i did that, hahaha... and then it wasn't even crying, it was just my bodies reaction!! XD

Thirteen- What are you really good at ?
Talking too much when i am comfortable around people :) (The funny thing is that i can seem shy to people who dont know me but once i am comfortable with someone i can talk lots. When me and my sister talk we can just keep going... and A has to kiss me at times just to get me to be quiet!!)
I am good at being positive, being alone (i love being alone!), drinking coffee, exercising, tuning people out, not getting angry, not judging people :)

Fourteen - What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
Usually i begin with thinking about the following day - i.e my schedule and plan. Then i think about my day, things that happened, try to appreciate and feel thankful for my day. But most often i am so tired when i go to sleep that its like i turn off my mobile and then fall asleep right away! (I usually play Candy crush or scroll through Tumblr, IG, read blogs until my eyes are drooping closed and then its just to turn off the light and sleep!)

 Sixteen - Do you prefer light or dark hair on the opposite sex ?
Doesnt really matter to me :) Whatever the guy suits best is what i like... but A has dark hair and that suits him :)

Twenty - Who do you trust 100% right now?
Myself... i have some trust issues. I dont really like asking others for help or talking about my problems as i feel that i am a burden then and i prefer to be independant and not ask for help or talk about my problems. Which means that i dont fully trust others, or more i cant trust myself to talk to others... because i am the type of person that bottles everything up and then suddenly i explode and everything comes spilling out. So i know that once i open up, then i open up about everything.

Twenty two - Heavy metal music?
Nope.. i dont like screamo or when it is just too much and you get a headache from the loud music!

Twenty four- Is there anything you’re hiding from someone?
Not hiding, but there are certain things which you avoid talking about or you dont bring up. Its not exactly hiding, more that the information isnt relevant or necessary to talk about :)

Twenty nine - Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Most probably my sister XD hahaha

Monday, March 30, 2015

Taking some mental relax time

Caught in the bubble of rain, coldness and stress it can be easy to lose yourself and find your mental thoughts as well asmotivation start fading away. I dont want to be caught in that bubble, ive been there far too many times before and instead i am not going to let the weather or stress bring me down, so i have made today a positive day! The classes have flown by and i have gotten work done, but not felt bad when i wasnt as productive as i could have been. Afterall i am only human and i dont need to spend every moment being productive, which is something i need to remind myself more often. With all these things to do all the time, always have emails to read and things to write and deadlines to remember it's easy to forget about all the other things like taking care of myself and actually taking a break.

Which is what i did when i came home from school today.I made myself waffles which i had been craving and then I realised that the work i needed to do could wait. I finished off my french text, sent it in and then decided to check out from my school thoughts which was exactly what i needed. To just sit and talk with my family, not have my thoughts wander to that english essay i needed to write or to check my phone every 10 minutes. Instead be able to lie in bed and watch a series, not worry about other things. It was nice to have some mental and physical rest, however it wasnt until after i had put on my pyjamas that i realised i had a presentation tomorrow first thing -_-' Ooopps. Hahah, luckily i have the presentation speech and powerpoint done, just that i havent learned it or timed it at all. So that kind of ruined my relaxing evening, but i am going to spend some time rehearsing and then know i have done my best :)
   No need to worry or stress, instead take things as they come. Stress has so many negative affects and messes with both my body and mind so i want to avoid it as much as i can. Taking mental breaks and relaxing is one of the best ways to do that, as well as running and exercise :)

What are your favourite ways to destress ? :)

Exercise after recovery

One of the most frequent questions i get asked is about after recovery and believing that you will keep gaining weight, eat too much and become lazy.
  This type of thinking isnt uncommon, alot of people in recovery have these fears and thoughts however they arent true. If that was the case then everyone recovering from an eating disorder would be overweight, but that is not how it is for most people anyway.

Recovery is NOT just about eating and gaining weight. There is more to it than that. You need to see food as a friend, as part of your life. Not something you need to control, worry over or feel anxious about.In recovery you need to focus on 1) working and fighting the actual problem that triggered your eating disorder. This of course might not be easy to know, for me it wasn't until after recovery that i could reflect on what it was that caused my eating disorder and that was my need for control as well as low self esteem and worry for the future. And i can say that now all 3 of those things are gone, i dont have control issues - or not as extreme as when i was sick, i dont get anxiety attacks or worry too much about the future as well as i now have ok self esteem. Remember that the problem that caused your eating disorder wont just magically go away, you need to overcome those causes. Recovery also entails finding balance in your life, all aspects of your life. Listening to your body and being kind to yourself and learning to live a happy life.

With that being said, if you find balance in recovery - where you can eat enough and all types of food so that you are neither binging or eating restrictvely, because its then that problems might arise later on as you arent fighting your fears you are still letting food control you (Or better said, you are controlling food). If you find balance with food it means that your weight will also balance itself out.
You should not have to compensate by eating less or exercising lots to try to maintain your weight, that is not a healthy relationship with food or exercise.
  Its important to remember that you should NOT exercise to eat. But eat so that you can live life (and if you enjoy it, then exercise).

Exercise is of course a part of a healthy life as it keeps your body and mind healthy. So i do recommend some form of exercise, whether it's just daily activity like taking stairs, walking etc or maybe you enjoy dancing or tennis or swimming a few times a week. That will keep your body and mind healthy, but dont think that you have to exercise after recovery. If you don't enjoy it, then you dont have to force yourself to exercise just because you think that is what others are doing.

I exercise because i love it, it is an enjoyment and a hobby and interest for me. I dont think i would want to work with exercise or do it so often if i didnt love it so much. If my goal was to change my body then i would workout in a different way and i would most probably look very different, but my goal is not to change my body, but to feel healthy and happy and do the form of exercise i enjoy at the moment.
  So just because i exercise doesnt mean that you have to as well. YOU CAN STILL MAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT WITHOUT EXERCISE. Infact the aim is that that is exactly what you should be able to do - maintain weight without any form of compensation.

If you enjoy exercise, that's great. You can begin with that once you are a healthy weight. If you dont enjoy exercise, dont feel guilty. You are not fat or lazy and you wont get fat or lazy either.

I have some more posts regarding healthy set point, weight gain, metabolism etc which might be helpful. But know that you dont have to exercise after recovery and you wont keep just gaining weight unless you end up developing binge eating disorder. But if you find balance and your body adapts and recovers then you should be able to maintain your weight eating roughly the same as you did in recovery - more or less depending on lifestyle, how much you ate etc

Fear of continuing to gain weight after reaching a healthy weight
Healthy set point
How to eat after recovery
Why you shouldnt exercise while in recovery
Finding balance with exercise
Let your body take care of itself
Metabolism and calories in recovery
Metabolism after an eating disorder

Strange things i like

There are some weird and strange things which i like and make me happy in life. I know i am not alone in having these small weird things, so here is just a part of my list and feel free to share a few of the weird things which you like!!

  1. Being the first person to use the new butter/spread. I just love when it's all smooth on top and i can be the first one to put my knife in it, hahaha
  2. When the trains/buses etc all go perfectly and you dont need to wait more than a minute or two when changing transport
  3. Not having to wear make up to the gym - i do sometimes as it's easier that way and can make me feel more badass. But somedays i just dont have the time or energy and thats cool too. Nobody cares!
  4. When people (i.e family or friends) take random - nice - pictures of me. I like having photos when i am just sitting and reading, or drinking coffee or just doing things and having these 'real life' photos. Because selfies and these posed pictures, i mean they get a little boring. I want to show these real life moments on my blog, but i cant ask someone to just take a picture of me while studying as then it becomes posed, hahaha. Dilemma!!! I like taking real life photos of my family and friends, when they are doing things its nice memories instead of just 'Here i am posing' pictures (which yes, i do all the time!!!!)
  5. When we go food shopping and the fridge and pantries go from nothing to so much delicious food. It makes me so happy seeing all the food and thinking about all the delciousness i can eat for the rest of the week!!!!!

Answers part 3

Thirty two - Who was the last person to make you laugh? My boyfriend :) I am always laughing when i am with him!!!
Thirty three - Who was the last person to make you angry? I can't really remember as i dont get angry so often. I can get irritated but i let it go and try to avoid getting angry. But it was most probably my sister.... some stupid arguement a while ago or something like that :)

Forty - Are you worried about the future? Not really. Of course i am wondering whether to begin studying in autumn or spring, at the moment i am feeling so mentally tired from all work that i think i might just try to work summer and autumn and then begin my studies again in spring. But then that means that it will take even longer to get my degree and qualifications. So those are my main worries right now, also how and where i will get a job! But first thing is to apply to places, haha!!
Forty one - Are you happy with life right now? Yes, 98% anyway. There are always small things in life you wish were different, but i dont focus on them. I focus on what i have in life and what i can do and achieve. Nothing is impossible and everything can change. I like to appreciate what i have and the good times, because i know that things can easily change and become far worse (not to think like a pessimist, but its the truth). So yes i am happy with life at the moment :)

Forty two - Are you currently jealous? I don't think so. Nothing that pops into my head anyway, like the answer above. I am happy with my life at the moment so i dont feel the need to compare myself or my life to others and so i dont feel jealous :)
Forty four -Do you forgive or forget? I do both, mostly. I have very good memory so i do remember when people do something bad towards me, but at the same time i so easily move on and just forgive. I dont really see the point in holding grudges, it just takes energy and positivity from myself and my life when i could instead focus on other, better things!

Forty six - Favorite Disney Channel show ? I liked loads of Disney shows!! That's so Raven, Hannah Montana, Kim Possible and loads more :)
Forty seven – Who’s 3 of your best girl friends? Why does this feel so hard to answer? If i am very honest i feel like i dont really have so many girl best friends who i feel i can really talk to. Because my friends in school are great friends but at the same time, i havent exactly let them into my life. I havent told them about my past or about my CF and so many other things in my life which means that sometimes there can feel like there is a wall there. That i wouldnt be able to call them and ask for help in a personal situation if needed. Though all my friends in school are awesome and i love them as friends, but its not that best-friend bond. Though i know that with my best friend in Ireland i can talk to about anything which i love. Knowing that even if we havent talked in a month we can skype and just talk about everything and help each other with our problems :) Its important to atleast have that one best friend or person you can talk to. Though not everyone has that, for a very long time i felt very lonely and felt i had no friends and no one i can talk to. Which doesnt help you feel better mentally either when you feel isolated and alone. But know that if you dont have that one best friend, you arent alone. There are many who feel the same way, even people in a big group of friends can feel lonely and like there might not be one 'true best friend' in that circle.

Live in the moment

One thing which i love about mornings is waking up and having that 'me time' where i can prepare a delicious breakfast. Have time to look through social media, enjoy my breakfast and plan my day. My morning routines are my favourite time of the day (though i do love my evenings where i just completly relax and rest after a busy day!). I hate when i have stressful mornings - such as today where i hit the snooze button for a little longer than planned, but i still prioritized my preparing breakfast and having some thinking time! So now in the left over time i need to try to do everything else, though luckily i packed my bag and everything the night before which always saves time in the morning. Thats a tip for you - pack your bag the night before and pick out some clothes to wear. It will save you time in the morning :)

Today is the start of a new week - week 14 - and soon it is the start of a new month! Time definitely seems to speed up as you grow older. When I was younger i remember a week felt like a lifetime, now a week just seems to fly by and before you know it a whole month has passed! I see alot of people writing - myself included - that they only enjoy the new week because it means a week closer to summer, and sure summer is the best. Very much needed and longed for after the long, cold winter months we've had. But it's also important to try to enjoy the moment, not always live life just waiting for something to happen. Because the fact is, summer will fly by just as quick as all the other months. So it's important to try to appreciate and find the positive things in life right now, even if it is also important to have something to look forward to. Don't live in the future and forget the present!

So today i am going to try to make awesome despite my maths test and all the other deadlines and tests this week! I am going to be positive and make this day and week awesome :)

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Making the best of a rainy day

Sunday afternoon here in Sweden and it has been raining all day making my energy levels lower than usual, but thats ok because its rest day today anyway and my only plans are to go with the flow. 
    Yesterday after i had finished with most of my planning i met A in town and we decided to go out to eat at our usual place TGIF.  It was Saturday evening so lots of people, but we got a table and ate a delicious starter and main course before we took a walk in the cold, dark city and then headed back to A's place where we watched a movie before going to bed! 

Today its Sunday and somehow the hours have just passed. We woke up late and since then we havent done much, i've studied a little, washed my hair, sat and scrolled through social media, just listened to the rain pouring down. A nice way to spend a Sunday, but even better when i suggest pancakes with topping for lunch! Sunday is a pancake day for me, it feels obligatory, almost anyway! So a quick visit to the shop, buy some toppings, back home and with team work we managed to quickly fry the pancakes and devour them even quicker!

Now both with food coma we're sitting with our computers, each doing different things which is nice. I like when you can sit in silence, both feeling happy and comfortable not needing to fill the silence (or there is music on) with talking. A comfortable silence is nice :)

Soon however its going to be video games and then back home again to prepare for a new school week, but i am not going to think about that right now. Right now i am just going to enjoy my Sunday and the last day of my weekend!

P.s its Easter this Sunday and i am actually super excited about it :) I get my easter break on Friday and i think we're going to spend Easter out in the country with my step dads parents, and i am looking forward to it!! 
  - Does anyone want me to write some tips on how to cope with Easter? I know it was a time that used to be awful and stress me out alot, but now i love it and can look forward to the chocolate and delicious food!

Food is not a test, you can't cheat

Something which bothers me alot especially on social media is the concept of cheat meals. I have never really understood it... what is it you are cheating on? Even if you are on a diet it's not like you are cheating, because its a choice you make to eat that meal. But also calling a meal a cheat is giving it a negative connotation. You are linking certain foods with guilt, anxiety and the thought that the food is bad. But also the whole thing of 'earning your cheat meal'. You dont have to go out and run 10km just to eat some chocolate or because you are going out to eat or going to a pizzeria or something. Everything in moderation, its ok to eat a whole pizza now and again or have a few squares, or a whole bar of chocolate now and again, as long as that is not the only thing you eat.

But also the whole 'cheat day/cheat meal' on a decided day?... Why decide that on a Saturday you can eat candy, what if you dont even want candy then but you eat it anyway just because you know you 'can'. It creates a very weird relationship when there are only certain days you are allowed to eat certain things and that certain foods are deemed as cheating. Cheating is a bad thing, food is NOT a bad thing. Eating some chocolate is not cheating, it might be what your body or mind needs right then. You should eat for your soul just as much for the health benefits of food.

Intuitive eating is when you dont have decided days when you eat things, but you can allow yourself some chocolate on a Wednesday evening if that is what you want. Or maybe eat some pancakes for lunch instead of a cooked meal. You listen to your body and your cravings and you dont call food cheat. Instead see it as treats. Extra luxury. 

Let go of the thoughts that food is bad or that you are doing something wrong by eating certain foods. Food is energy which your body needs and uses.

Another thing is that those who have cheat days where they spend the whole day just eating junk food just because they can, that leads to a very weird relationship with food where for 6 days they eat restrictively, avoiding cravings and then on their cheat day they eat everything just because they can. It becomes almost like a binge where their body just wants more and more because it has been deprived.

If you instead allow yourself to eat different foods when you want it, then you are less likely to binge. When you begin thinking that you cant and arent allowed certain foods, its then that you begin craving them even more and when you eat them you cant stop yourself from eating it all because you feel you have done something bad by eating a little, so you might as well eat it all. Black and white thinking which isn't healthy either.

Also stop thinking that you have ruined your day by eating something you think is less healthy. Food is not good or bad its the AMOUNT that is good or bad. If you eat 100g chocolate everyday then it might not be so healthy but if you eat a square everyday or every second day that doesnt have to be unhealthy.

I also have a post about 'Guilt free' food and why its stupid because food shouldnt give you guilt, no matter what you eat.

Answers 2

Favourite band? Or a band you'd like to see live one day?
I feel like such a boring person when i say that i don't have a favourite band or artist. I listen to so much different music and it varies from day to day.  I love listening to music, but i am not someone who feels they have to see an artist live, though it is fun to do that. For now i don't think i have a certain band or artist which i really want to see live.

Some place you'd like to visit one day?
Hawaii, Florida, California, LA, Thailand. Different parts of Spain, Italy and France. And SO MANY other places :)

Favourite childhood memory?
I have many, but the one that first comes to mind is when we got our first dog. It was a summer day and my mum had picked my sister, her friend and I up from school and when we came home we began playing out in the garden. Then our dad arrives home and walks up to the house carrying this big brown box, we're all curious as to what he is carrying and then we see it's this tiny little dog (a jack russel). And it was puppy-love at first sight!! He ran around and around and was such a cute puppy and then while he was running around i began saying 'Go buddy. Go buddy' and after that, we decided to call him Buddy, and he became my dog. Though he was a family dog, it was still a present for me :) (the next dog, a female jack russel became my sisters dog)!

Your favourite inspirational quote?

If you were to become famous, what would it be for?
I am hoping that it will be because i inspire alot of people and can be some sort of health-inspiration person :) 

Do you believe in God? What is your relationship with faith?
I dont really know what i believe in. I grew up going to church every Sunday and had to have my communion and confirmation. Though i never felt like i believed in God, i was doing it just because i was told to. So now when i am older, i dont really label myself. Am i believer, am i not? I don't know... its a very personal and individual thing and i respect everyone. I do think that people who believe in God can be very helpful for them to get them through tough times, however that was not something that worked for me. If anything, what i went through made me less believing. But i dont like writing about religion or politics on my blog as it can trigger things within people but also everyone has different opinions and that is ok, that is how it should be :)

Do you pray?

What would you name your future children?
This is really hard as i dont think so much about that. I dont know if i want children or not - though i most probably will, but i dont really know. So i dont really think about future names of children though i like the name Chelsea for a girl :)

What are your favorite beverages?
This will be a long list!!

Water, coffee, BCAA's ,green tea, chai tea, Celsius, NoccaBcaa, funlight, cola zero, smoothies, Aloe Vera etc

How tall is A?
A few cm taller than me anyway :) Though if i wear my heels i will be taller than him... hahaha.

Do you believe in this whole Minnie Maud thing "eat more to boost your metabolism and then be able to eat a lot during your entire life" ?
I do sort of believe it as that is what i did in recovery. But i also believe in reverse dieting for those who have metabolic damage. It takes time, its not like you can increase 500kcal over night and suddenly your metabolism speeds up. There is a whole process and science behind it. Though in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder i do believe that you should keep increasing your intake and be eating around 2500-3500+ a day to help increase your metabolism. This is because if you are gaining weight and keep gaining though you are eating around 1500-2000kcal, then that means that when you want to maintain you either need to add exercise into your lifestyle or eat a little less. But also that you would be eating a small amount for maintenance, but if you are gaining when you eat around 3000kcal that means that you should be able to eat about 2500-3000kcal a day without weight gain. Though once again, its a whole science behind it and also things like genes, DNA, lifestyle, metabolism etc all matter. Because no, some people will never be able to eat 3000kcal without gaining loads of weight whilst others can eat that amount for maintenance.  You can do some research on MM but i think it can be helpful and that aiming to increase calories during weight gain is optimal :)

Do you know anybody from Norway?
I dont think so... hahaha. I know people from all over the world so maybe i do? I think i do actually, hahaha XD