Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Readers story & advice

For NEDA week (or any time really) if you ever want to share YOUR story or advice or tips regarding recovery or life in general, then just email me!! We can all help to inspire and motivate each other!

Here comes Cristina's story and advice:

I have had anorexia nervosa for 10 years.  I was undiagnosed for 8 of those years. I didn't really think anything was wrong.  What I wanted was not to take up as much space.  Not to impose.  To have people want to take care of me.  Or not notice me.  

My father was emotionally and physically abusive. I realized I could not control his erratic behavior, but I could control myself.  I vowed not to take my anger out on others, instead, it would be better turned inward.  I had so many thoughts during my childhood "If I could just be better"  "If I could just be good".  So I restricted.  Anorexia provided a disconnect.  A dizziness and an escape from my life.  I started restricting at 14.  The classic diet of carrot sticks.  Sometimes goldfish crackers. Nothing with enough nutrients.

So when my mother threatened to hospitalize me, I was scared.  I couldn't sleep, couldn't go through a day without feeling like I would pass out, having heart palpitations, nails that were always chipping, feeling like I was just floating through the day.  I knew I was hurting myself.  I tried to get better on my own.  I gained 20 pounds, and maxed out.  One low BMI to another low BMI.  But I thought I was "better".

Recovery has been a long process for me.  I've asked for help along the way, and received it.  But you have to actually dedicate yourself to getting better.  The longer you are sick, the more it becomes a part of you.  My advice would be to focus on what you do want.  Life goals.  I want to have children and a career, I want to not think about food all the time, or feel guilty.  I don't want ten years of being sick to become eleven years of being sick.  

If you are a "functional anorexic", it's hard to find reasons to recover.  I was doing well at an Ivy League school, I had friends, I was close with my mum and siblings, I have had jobs and promotions. But having all of those things, and adding in an eating disorder, it serves as a distractor, it makes you feel that you have accomplished less.  The eating disorder voice is a dichotomy.  Always telling us that in order to be more, we must be less, weigh less.  I think we should challenge ourselves to be more.  To allow ourselves to take up space.  I finally am realizing that in letting go of anorexia, I am accepting myself, as I am.  

My advice is to challenge yourself to see how much potential you can have if you choose to let go.  The eating disorder is not responsible for our successes, that is separate.  So here is to untangling the two.  We are so much more than an eating disorder.  So this NEDA week (and ideally going forward), let's reclaim ourselves. 

1 comment:

  1. This is a really inspiring and moving story and the way you write it is just perfect. thank you Christina <3 x