Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, February 2, 2015

Question: Do i eat everything i post?

A question i commonly get asked is... Do i eat everything i post?

And it can be hard to believe it but 99% of the time i do. Yes, my stomach size is large :) Though it varies alot, somedays i eat more, somedays i eat less.
  It can happen at times where i post a picture of food and i have planned to eat it all but then i cant manage the apple and so i dont eat it, but then i end up eating the apple an hour or two later anyway. So i do eat everything but maybe not all at once... but i am good at knowing how much i can fit into my stomach :)

But when it comes to pictures where i post a whole 100g chocolate or the heart shaped bowl filled with nuts, i might not eat all of the chocolate or the nuts... but i dont know how much i will eat of it. I might eat it all and more after or i might just take one square of chocolate. But i have no obligation to write how much or what i eat everyday.

What i eat varies everyday somedays i eat 4 big meals other days its continuous small snacks the whole day, other days its 6-7big meals per day. Everyday really is different. I dont plan my meals until im hungry and going to make myself some food. I dont count calories or macros... do i eat 2500kcal do i eat 3000 or 3500kcal a day... who knows? Am i gaining weight? Who knows... but i know that i am following what my body tells me. Am i more hungry, then i eat more. Am i less hungry, then i eat less.
   It can happen at times where i overestimate how much i think i can eat and then dont finish it all... but once again, i have no obligation to write that.

Remember that how i eat works for ME. Its what my body tells me i should eat, what my body wants and needs. I amnt following any diets or diet rules.
    But also i dont post everything i eat... trust me, there is alot of squares of chocolate eaten or a few handful of nuts while preparing food.

And also the question of carbs, yes i eat plenty of carbs :) Somedays more, somedays less. But lets all remember that carbs are nothing to be feared, carbs are in lots of foods. Its not just potatoes, pasta and rice. I eat lots of oatmeal, cereal, LOTS of dried fruit, vegetables, beans, lots of crisp bread and bread if we have at home as well as rice cakes, berries etc... so yes, carbs make up like 50% of my diet ;);)

Remember to not compare your meals to other people... everyone eats differently. Somedays people are more hungry, somedays people are less hungry. It balances itself out. If someone eats a salad that doesnt mean they are on a diet just like if someone eats a pizza doesnt mean they are binging.

So any of you who have been wondering about this, hopefully it has answered your question now :)


  1. Hi, I'm sorry for asking you that but I think that I need some suggestions.
    I slowly lose weight routing the past 4 weeks, and I started to follow iifym ( basically, I track my macros )
    But since I started to lose weight ( which is not good, because I was still underweight, and now I'm getting worse) tonight it has been one of the worst night that I ever been through : I haven't slept because of the cold, and my bones hurted a lot.
    This morning I was literally freezing, even if I was wearing 4 shirt and sweaters.
    I think that I will rest today instead of Thursday, but I was wondering if I need to eat a little but more even if I don't run? Or less because of the rest?

    1. Hello, the fact that you are so cold and your bones hurt are not good signs at all. They are telling you just how undernourished and underweight you are. So running at the moment wont help you at all... your body needs rest to recover and repair because exercise is just going to stress your body and organs. And you need to eat MORE. You should cut down on exercise and eat more... generally speaking on restdays i eat the same or more than workout days.
      However i would not be doing IIFYM... thats too restrictive and you obviously arent eating enough following that if you are losing weight. Instead you need to eat more, NOT count macros (that is just an obsessive behaviour) and to rest. You need to face your fears and know that your body needs energy and fuel and you wont feel better or warmer until your body gains more wieght and gets more food.

      You need to face your fears and fight your ED.

  2. Hi sweetie the tiredness exhaustion and the coldness is telling you that ur body is at a very low state. Believe me normal, healthy people DON'T feel that way. DON'T exercise please dont because its going to destroy ur body, all ur muscles and bones and organs. EAT especially if u are hungry but most importantly go to a doctor immediately. Please u owe it to urself. There are people who love u. Take care of urself

    1. I've just calculated my bmi, and its 15,5... I'm quite scared to running...I don't know. Today I've choose to rest and relax. I've spent almost 5 hours reading books watching films and playing guitar. I want to run an important half marathon the first of march, and I don't want to hurt my body anymore... I will try my best.

    2. You are very underweight and you shouldnt keep losing weight. I know you want to run a half marathon but think... you will be putting your health in danger. Its a month away... i would say focus on eating c.a 3000-3500+kcal a day and even more the days you run (if you do, but i dont suggest it.) Your health should always come first and be your priority, you are still young. You have the rest of your life to run races and a half marathon, but think... what will happen if your body collapses or you suffer a heart attack because your body is so stressed from all the exercise? Because sooner or later you will face the consequences of what you are putting your body through.
      It might be tough to hear, but sometimes you need to hear the honest truth and that is that you do need to let your body rest and recover and you need to fight the mental thoughts.

      Remember eating disorders do kill if they dont get treated.

  3. Do you think that counting macros is stupid?! I've thought that it could help me to know how much I need to eat, and how much I actually eat. And it helps me not to feel guilty every time I eat a cookie or a piece of chocolate

    1. Countig macros isn't all negative, it can be positive as well. It can for example help you make sure you are eating enough carbs, and not unnecessary much protein. But when you have an eating disorder, counting macros can also become an obsession. Like you still have this need to have control - which is not positive at all. (I'm sure Izzy will "fill you in" with some more details

    2. Like the anonymous said, counting macros doesnt have to be bad.... but you are using it to make sure that you 'can' eat something. Say if you had eaten your carb intake but you were craving that cookie but felt you cant eat it because you have already eaten your carbs for the day... then thats wrong. Its still a form of restriction and control... you need to stop seeing food as numbers and instead see it as energy and fuel and that everything in moderation is ok. So if you want that piece of chocolate after your sandwich, go for it. As long as you arent eating 100g chocolate everyday etc
      You need to find more freedom and balance, not just going from one restriction or obsession over food to another one.