Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Progress from a reader

I got an email from Emmy who blogs at http://ganache-elf.blogspot.ie/ . She has recently been admitted to hospital and beginning her recoveyr journey with the help of the hospital there and i thought it was nice to read her progress so far and some of her thoughts and i thought it could be an inspiration to others.
  But also i remember how it felt when you finally get some time at home after being an inpatient. The nerves, the anxiety but also excitement!!! It might also be nice to read about someone elses progress who is in the situation right now!!

Well where do I begin Izzy...as you might recall I had the eating disorder assessment test on the 6th january...hard to believe it's almost a month ago now. I was extremely nervous and every fibre of my being was screaming at me not to go, but I knew in my heart that this was what I needed, and that whatever the outcome, it was for the best. I answered all their questions as openly and honestly as I could. No longer did I want to keep any secrets. I suppose I felt like that I have been carrying those secrets around with me for years...and the time had come to take courage and cast away all masks and disguises. I felt an immense sense of relief, in revealing to them the full truth about me and my eating disorder. And then when it was done the doctor I had met there gently told me she thought I would benefit most from going inpatient. I had steeled myself for this, but the weekend before I was to go into hospital, I was so, so upset and cried for days on end.

But...here I am now, about to travel home for my first full weekend, at the end of my third week in hospital. And I can honestly say, that I can stand up now and say that I am happy and proud of myself and the progress I have made and all that I have achieved. Of course, I know I have a long way to go still in this recovery journey mentally, but physically I am doing alot better, and my mood has lifted enormously. Looking back There are so many obstacles and challenge that I have overcome, most of which I, before all of this happened, would have regarded as extremely difficult, if not impossible, to even face up to, let alone attempt to conquer. But I did, though, Izzy. I used to call myself weak, useless and worthless, but I clearly see now that I am not any of those things. Rather I have come to see myself for the young woman I really am - a kind, considerate, animal-loving, thoughtful girl with pretty blonde hair who loves to bake and cook, spend time with her loved ones and dear friends, walk her dog, travel, and write of things which mean alot to her. 

And I am proving to myself that in fact I am strong, and that I have the courage and determination to face my biggest ever fears. I never , ever thought I would be able to overcome my obsession with exercise Izzy - but I have. I have tried loads of different things here in hospital and have enjoyed every single bite of them. Even the actual fear of weight gain has become a little easier. It's still there, but when I looked at my body in the mirror yesterday, and saw how it was changing and just how much it had already been changed...I didnt feel upset, disgusted or angry. I just felt acceptance, and a peaceful sense of security, in the knowledge that I am doing the right thing, and that this is exactly what my body and I both need.

6 comments:

  1. <3 aww thank you so much for sharing my story Izzy! It means so much to me <3 Hope you had a lovely day! <3 xxxx

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  2. Yes, you are so, so strong!! And sharing your story here, as well as on your blog is so inspiring and proves your determination. Hugs, Emmy :)

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    1. <3 thanks so much Olivia <3 <3 <3 that is so sweet of you and you too have helped and inspired me so much more than you ever know <3 thankyou hun <3 xxxx

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  3. Thankyou for posting your thoughts on your journey to recovery! My daughter came home from her first inpatient stay in hospital on December 19th and overall has gained 12 kgs since her diagnosis last October... she has always been a very slight girl and it is very distressing for her that she is now in a healthy weight range for her height! i hope and pray she will one day come to accept herself for the wonderful person she really is.

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    1. You are so welcome!! I hope it helped in some small way! Oh, I am so sorry to read about your daughter and how she is struggling :( Recovery DOES take time though, especially the mental part, and I think if you keep on supporting her and being there for her, and encourage her to do things that might help her self-esteem, then she will in time come to accept herself and her body! I wish you and your daughter the very best for the future and hope everything goes well for you <3

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