Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Mental and physical recovery

Many people think that recovery from an eating disorder is just the physical... that you reach a healthy weight and then you are healthy. But there is a reason that eating disorders are called 'mental disorders' i.e they are in the head. Its not enough to just eat and gain weight and think that things will get better, because they wont.
  There are underlying issues to your problems and why you think and behave the way you do... something has triggered your behaviour. Whether its low self esteem, self consciousness, some event happened or loneliness, depression etc
  But you need to find a way to cope with the problems in your head and also the underlying issues. Being physically healthy and eating enough of course helps because then your body and mind arent in starvation mode (Read more HERE)  making it easier to think more rationally and you are stronger mentally so its easier to fight the ED thoughts.

 Though mental recovery is something that takes time, more time than physical recovery usually... though sometimes its the otherway around. Though i do have a very hard time believing when someone says they are mentally recovered but have a BMI of 16 or 17 and just 'cant' gain the weight... of course gaining weight is hard, IT IS. But it can be done... whether that means supplement drinks or eating 200g nuts per day or adding 100ml oil to your meals throughout the day. Weight gain can be done... for me i had to eat around 4000kcal a day for a period to gain weight... eating that much isnt easy, but thats what i needed to gain wieght and i did that through supplement drinks, bread, butter, cheese, cereal, nuts, dried fruit etc so you CAN gain weight. So i find it hard to believe the excuse that someone cant gain weight but claim they are mentally healthy.... i tried to use that excuse when i was half recovered because i didnt want to gain weight. But now when i am actually mentally healthy the number on the scale doesnt matter to me... whether it says 60kg or 65kg doesnt matter so much to me, what matters is that i am a healthy weight and have a healthy mind and body.

Generally though you recover physically before you mentally recover and you need to keep working on those thoughts, finding coping skills and learning to cope with tough situations or triggers. To overcome your fears and anxieties. You get stronger after each obstacle you conquer. No one else can mentally recover for you, its YOU who has to want it and has to CHOOSE it everyday. Its YOU who has to do the tough job of fighting those things that scare you so that you can find peace in your own mind.... because like the quote goes "your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
    This is very true, you need your head to co operate with you, not fight you, but to do that you have to change your thoughts and do things that scare you.

Dont settle for half recovery or just physical recovery ,because you wont ever be happy if you are still battling the thoughts. But know that you CAN get rid of the thoughts completely, you can be happy, healthy and FREE. You can be free from your thoughts but that requires fighting, being strong and making a change!!!
Sometimes what you're most afraid of


  1. Hi Izzy! I would say I'm probably in the half recovery stage right now. Definitely fall into the relatively mentally recovered but low bmi. I feel like I am eating a lot, but often it feels like a binge-Ie eating a bunch of sweets or a lot at once bc I know I can without gaining that much weight. Did you find it hard to distinguish between normal eating and a binge at that stage?

    1. Well if you arent gaining weight then i dont think it is that much of a binge, as you still arent eating enough or eating enough to gain weight. Eating say 3 cookies or a bag of sweets, thats not a binge... a binge is when it is very uncontrollable and you eat very large amounts at once.
      Its good to find balance with all food... not just eat it because 'you know you need to gain weight' because if thats your mindset then when you are a healthy weight you might think you cant eat that type of food, when actually you still can.

      I followed a meal plan when i was in recovery so i knew i wasnt binging. But when i wasnt following a meal plan it was hard to know how much was enough...

      But try to find balance and fight those thoughts in your head, realise that food is ok and necessary. You need food to live, not just to gain weight. Though if you are a low BMI its important to gain wieght to be a healthy weight :)

  2. Hi :) I was wondering if you could talk about the dangers of a low bmi. Like I feel like mentally Im good for the most part, but I just have a low bmi. And yeah I know youll say well if your mentally good, why cant you gain weight? but I just like my body now so... but are there actually any dangers when you still have a low bmi but eat normally?

    1. do you have your period? how's your energy level? our bodies our meant to be at a certain weight (at least a bmi 18.5) otherwise they do not function properly!!! You may not see this yet, but eventually, a low bmi will catch up to you and you can end up with osteoperosis, etc...

      Sorry... I know I am not Izzy!!!

    2. To the anonymous its fine that you answered, i want this place to be a community where people can ask questions and get the help they need :) And im not always so quick to answer so its good that others can, or give their opinion/information anyway :)

      And about your question, yes there are dangers to having a low BMI... but im going to write about it in a post coming up today or tomorrow :)

  3. izzzy!!! when you make your protein pancakes do you use 2 scoops? Just wondering because I have the same one and I dont know how much to make??

    1. I usually use one mix (as i want to save the mixture for other times... i.e i get double the serving size then:)) but i add an egg and some fiberhusk and water so its the right consistency :) But on the directions it says 2 scoops & water :)