Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Longing for better days & thoughts about school and stress

This morning i found myself dreaming and longing for better days. Stuck in nostalgia, where the past seems so much better than the present. Its so easy to get stuck in those dreams and longing.... hoping and wishing that things change and get better. Instead of appreciating what is now.... though in all honesty, there are times in life where everything is just awful and there is nothing to appreciate. That is not the case for me now.... But still, i long for the future. I long for summer and warmth, i long for freedom and to not be ruled by school times and deadlines. Though of course the next 4-6 years i will spend studying and working so then there will be a whole new set of rules and times to adjust to. But still, it seems so much better than now?

Jumping onto something else, but i have been thinking about how school is so stressful for so many people? But why.... because in all honesty, isnt learning one of the best things in life? Gaining more knowledge about certain things, because lets admit it, most people love learning. Think about that topic you love or that thing you are interested in, you want to know more about it. You want to be able to understand and know. THAT is learning and its fun, its curiosity and interest. Of course, you cant go to school and just think that you will learn about all the things you find interesting, thats not how it works. I mean somethings, boring or not, you need to learn and know. Just like in University or even at work, there are some courses or training you have to do which might not interest you but has to be done and learned. But that doesnt have to make it boring or bad... its the stress in school that makes school so awful.
  Because i like school, i LIKE learning. I like reading, i like using my brain and i even like maths to some extent. I dont mind spending 6-8 hours in school each day, i dont mind sitting in class and working. But its the stress, its when you get 5 tests the same week followed by 3 essay deadlines the following week and you dont get any time in school to get the work done, it all has to be done outside of lesson time. Its THEN that is gets stressful, because the fact is... people have lives outside of school, just like teachers do.
    Its expected that people should go to school or work, do their studies and assignments, be social outside of work/school, do exercise several times a week, have some alone time and get everything done as well as sleep 7-9 hours each night..... When i think about this i realise that i do all of these things within the 24 hours i am given each day.... some things more, some things less. But its prioritizing and it can also give me stress.... i dont feel i have enough time for friends and family. I dont have time to go shopping if i need something, i wish i had more time to workout or to go for walks... i believe if i had more time in a day, or could go for a morning walk or run several times a week i would feel much happier. To get to see the sunlight and get fresh air in the morning!!!
Learning is great, but not the stress involved with school. I know its all about how you cope with stress and that i shouldn't feel stressed, the amount of times i am told this. But its not me.... infact more and more people are taking days off school and taking 'mental health days' because they cant cope with the stress or because they have so much work to do that they feel overwhelmed. As well as more people are developing mental illnesses such as eating disorders, depression, anxiety disorder, OCD and other illnesses, in a way to try to cope with all the stress and pressure that life puts on them.
  Because its not .... "just go to school, sit and learn, work on assignments, meet friends, be happy, reach your goals and dreams". There is often other things in life such as family, economic or relationship problems, there are other things you want to do in life, not everyone has it easy in school, not everyone is happy etc and then when school hands you 5 deadlines in the same week its not easy and people need to find a way to cope and that can lead to bad behaviors.

I really hope that within the next few years the school system changes in the countries where it is needed. Because in Sweden, even if the schools are ok, the school system doesnt seem to understand just how stressed teenagers are now a days. But still the school system wants to start grading children at the age of 6 as well as making the courses harder and the higher grades even harder to achieve. Even the teachers have commented on just how hard the grading criteria is and how in some topics it is very hard to get an A. When you hear this from a teacher, then it is a huge demotivation and can make it even harder to keep working hard when you know that reaching that A grade just isnt possible.

I feel i could write a whole essay (a more structured one!!!) about school and stress, but i just dont have the time for it right now, not that it is so interesting to read for all of you. But i felt that i needed to write out my thoughts.... (which jumped from one thing to another!). My thoughts are everywhere at the moment, and like i began the post writing... i am longing for better days. Longing for freedom and sunlight!!

1 comment:

  1. It has been like this for us German Students too, so i think this problem is Common in different countries.
    But in my life, this stress seemed normal to everyone. It's just like that of you want to be good... Then it'll always be stressfull...
    I know the Troubles with the deadlines and such. But you can make it through, even if it Takes all your Energy (just like it did with me)... But in my life stress continued since i went to a University where your "lesson free Period" isn't exactly free time. All your exams and assignments and the practical work(weeks, 10h a day, with protocols to Write) are in those "free" weeks. And after that, a new lesson-semester Starts. I haven't had a Week off for almost 3 years now. But that's normal. That's how it goes.