Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Is secret eating ok?

I was recently asked via email whether secret eating is ok or not. I believe that the answer is already in the question....  Whether its secret eating because you dont want anyone to see you eat or because you are going to binge, its not ok.

Hiding the fact that you are eating, whether its you buy large amounts of food, binge on it and then get rid of the evidence so no one will know, or the only time you eat is when you're on your own or you go stand in bathrooms or other places to try to eat. 
  Eating is normal, its what your body needs so if you are secret eating because you think people will judge you for eating, then you're wrong. And if someone does judge you for eating well then something is wrong with them.... because judging someone for eating when they are hungry is just the same as judging someone for peeing when they are in need of it.
The first thing is to ask yourself, WHY are you secret eating? The fact that you want to hide that you are eating is a bad sign and something you need to think about and change. If you are sneaking around your family or friends not wanting to be seen eating then there is something wrong.

I like to think like this.... would i be embarassed about telling my mum or sister what i just ate? If i were to take a whole Ben and Jerrys & a 100g chocolate bar and bring it to my room and eat it all on my own and then get rid of the evidence, then yes... i would feel embarrassed and not want to tell them and it would become a sort of secret food/secret eating. But if i bring my normal snack to my room because im watching a film then its not secret eating... im not avoiding the fact that im eating, its just that my family dont have to see everything i eat. (This example was really bad... but i hope you understand the difference anyway.)

With secret eating there is often guilt and anxiousness involved as you are worried about someone finding out that you are eating or walking into to the room/place you are. You hide your food, hide the evidence of eating, not wanting to be caught eating.

Just from that you should hear how wrong that is.

I would begin with trying to eat more publicly and around people... you want that snack bar inbetween your lessons, eat that snack bar with your friends then... you dont have to go to the bathroom. You want a snack before bed while your partner doesnt? You dont have to wait until he goes as sleep to eat or hide in the bathroom to eat. You bought yourself a 100g chocolate and you're planning to eat it all because that is what you feel you want/need right at that moment, then do that. You dont have to hide away in a corner.... Food shouldnt equal guilt and you shouldnt have to hide the fact that you eat. We are all human beings who need to eat. Its a basic human need. If you feel guilty over the huge amounts you eat and dont want people to know.... well then that is the reason why you should begin being more open about how and why you eat and begin eating more normall with others.

1 comment:

  1. I used to not be able to eat in front of my mom when I was really sick. I can remember one time I already made myself one slice of toast with honey on it and my mom walked in. I was so surprised I jusst tried to hide the toast somewhere and went out of the kitchen only to come back later and eat it. That's so silly, isn't it? But my mom was pressuring me to eat at that time and I did not want to obey to her will. I really hurt her with my 'not-eating' especially because my sisters also have issues with eating. But I was the worst because I actually seeked treatment for it and doing so I admitted that I had a problem. My sisters are still struggling to a certain extend.