Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Monday, January 19, 2015

Worrying about what others think about your body

I think to some extent everyone cares and worries about what others think about your body. Its a little sad this, but the fact is alot of people judge people from their appearance. You see someone who doesnt look so attractive to you and you dont give them the time of day to even get to know their personality, some people dont even want to be friends with someone because they dont look like their 'usual' type of friend.
  And we all know that many guys and girls can be very selective and very open worded about their preference in who they date.
  I can honestly say that people who say things like...' I dont like when guys/girls wear this/that or do this/that' .... that is extremely off putting to me. Who cares what someone else wants to wear or do, or how they look.

But that is not what this post is about.... but about caring and worrying about what others think of your body.
    In general i dont care so much what others think about the way i look or how my body looks. Though i can have times where i can get anxiety because i think i am 'too big' or i think that nobody will like me because i strength train and its intimidating or they will think i am too muscular. But you know what.... who cares? Who cares what anybody else thinks of my body, the important thing is that I am happy and confident. That i love myself and my body, and i do love myself and my body. Thats what counts.

When you are in recovery and need to gain weight, then your body does change but the fact is, its a GOOD change. If anyone is actually smart then they will have noticed that you are too skinny and that its not healthy and that when you gain weight you will begin looking more healthy and better. Being told that you look healthy is a COMPLIMENT. Its a good thing. I know many think that being told you look better or healthy is something negative but it really isnt... just listen to the words, you are looking BETTER. I.e nobody might have said it to you, but you didnt look so good when you were just skin and bones. That is actual evidence that the weight gain and change in your body is a good thing and making you look better.
   Though there of course comes the problem when you have gained some weight and you still need to gain some more and you get comments about 'you look perfect', 'you look so healthy', 'you have the perfect body' etc but you are still underweight. But the truth is, if you have like +/-5kg to gain its barely noticeable. It will give you more energy which will make you look more glowing and your body might look more proportionate as well, but like noticeable weight gain. Not really.... its just those changes from underweight to closer to normal weight that your body changes, which is necessary.
  As mentioned already, if anyone actually has a brain they will also notice that you look better and its healthier by you gaining the weight.

Though the most important thing is to try to just NOT CARE what others think. Trust me... there will always be someone bigger than you or someone smaller than you. There will be people jealous of how you look and people who hate the way you look.
  I get lots of comments about the way i look... Im too big, im too small, i looked better before, i should lose some muscle, i have too low fat percent etc etc (I guess thats what happens when you have a blog) but i just laugh.... how does anyone, strangers at that, think they have the right to tell me that i should change my body? Tell me that i am too big or too small or that i looked better before? I laugh them off and dont care, because nobody else has the right to make me dislike myself or think i dont look good. Not even myself, but that happens at times of course.

But you need to learn to be happy in your body. During recovery it will change and some people might comment on that, but you have to learn to just not care. Your only focus should be to be a healthy weight and to get a healthy mind back. Whether you are a size X or a size Y doesnt matter. I mean i still fit into clothes - which at the time were too big- but from 4-5 years ago and when i was very underweight... i mean i have only gone up a few clothes sizes.... back to the same size (roughly?) i was before i became sick.

You need to take control over your own thoughts and how you think of yourself. Because if you love yourself and can be happy in your own body then you dont care what others say about you. You have to let go of your obsession of being skinny, being underweight or being the skinniest person. Instead focus on being healthy, having a healthy body and mind.


  1. I can't believe that there actually is somebody that says you are too big! You're anything but too big! To be honest, you look gorgeous!

  2. All of what you write is so essential in recovery :) Helps me so much, so thaaaaaaaaank you :-*
    I always easily got triggered by the opinion of what other people had about me, so it really is so important to simply cut those comments and thoughts of :) it really is all about that focus on yourself right? That you love and accept your body and no one else has to :)