Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, January 16, 2015

Seeing a nutrionist/dietician?

I'm not being biased because i am planning to study to become a nutrionist, but in my personal opinion i think that in recovery you should go see a dietician or nutrionist. Even when you are a healthy weight it can help to see a dietician to give you feedback on what/how you eat and how you can change things. Maybe take some blood samples and from that change your diet so that it can be the best for you.

In recovery you dont really understand just how much you need to eat. You think you eat a small plate of pasta with bolognaise and suddenly you have gained 2kg and dont need to eat your night snack, but thats not how it works. I personally dont think its a good idea just to eat whenever or do loads of small snacking just to gain weight in recovery, because you have to realise that its not just weight gain that makes you recover. Its your mental state and you need to be ok with eating. You need to be ok with going out to eat a 3 course meal or be ok with eating a snack at 4pm instead of 3pm. You cant keep eating safe foods to recover either, or keep skipping carbs or not using any oils or butter.

When you follow a meal plan which has been designed for YOU, then you eat what your body needs. By eating regularly and enough it ensures that your metabolism will recover and that your hunger and fullness feelings will come back as your body adapts to eating at certain times. It will give you more certainty, but also for me it helped me to stop counting calories eventually. As i realised that i was just eating the same amount everyday no matter how many times i counted the calories on my meal plan. It also made me feel safer knowing that i wasnt eating too much or too little. When you just eat from your bodies signals when you are sick then you might not be eating enough or you might end up binging and you cant stop it and neither are good. You need to find balance.

A dietician/nutrionist is there to help you, to give you the information and food advice you need to make your body the healthiest it can be. The person will roughly know how much you will gain each week according to calculations, will know what to add to your meal plan when you need to increase. A dietician is a person you can trust, of course how your body behaves is different from anyone elses, so it might not always behave the way you expect it to. But quite accurate guesses can be made when someone has studied the body and nutrition for so many years.

It can also be very helpful if you get blood tests done where you can see whether your body is healthy or not and what needs to be changed in your diet. This can also be a very clear wake up call for you if your levels are very bad!!!

Not everyone can afford a dietician or see one i am aware of this. But i think that if you get the chance or opportunity to see one, then you should. I used to hate my dietician, she was almost the worst person i knew because she was the one who added food to my meal plan. Who made me eat my fear foods because it was written in black on my meal plan and the one who added supplement drinks to my meal plan. Hearing that i had to go to the dietician was the worst thing when i was at Mando, i didnt want to hear that i had to eat more. I didnt wnat to have to eat another fear food, but when i was getting better then it was almost me booking the meetings with the dietician because i wanted to eat more freely, i wanted advice on how to eat more freely and roughly how much a portion was... i.e how much would be a normal portion of chocolate covered nuts, or what should i eat if i go to the cinema etc She was actually a really nice person as well :) One of the best at Mando (i wonder if she still works there?), but for 80% of the time i didnt see that... infact i feel a little sorry for her, as im pretty sure most of the patients there hate her just because she is doing her job. hahaha

I get alot of questions if i can help people make their meal plan and such and the answer is no, i cant. I have alot of knowledge and experience but i am not qualified and i would not feel comfortable doing that. Instead i think you should try to find a way to go to a dietician, or to look at my previous meal plans (they were set for ME. and my goal weight and how quickly/slowly i gained weight.) but you get to see roughly how much/what i ate.

And i also got a question of how can i make myself go to the dietician if no one else makes me? Well you have to find it within yourself that it is the best. You have to know that getting help is important, the hard job is not going to the dietician, the hard job is following the meal plan. But look at it like this, if you have paid someone to help you. To give you the help you so desperately need, then why throw away the money and the energy and time your dietician has spent on your meal plan? You have to do it for YOU. Because you need it. Because your body and mind needs it. You need to face the fear and anxiety and know that your meal plan and the food on your plan is HELPING YOU. Its food that will make you gain at a steady state, if its a qualified dietician then you shouldnt be gaining 2kg every week unless your metabolism is severly messed up and the food is way too much for your body at the moment, but then with some changes that can be fixed.

You have to do it because its for the best and because you need help and to recover.