Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

My thoughts (&low self esteem)

A requested topic recently and quite frequently has been my thoughts. I guess you all just want to know whats in my head?! :)
The fact is, i really dont have so many thoughts in my head. I have normal people problems... or well, small daily problems like: I cant find my top, does these jeans make my ass disappear, will people notice that i havent washed my hair today?, I wonder if i can get my mum to go buy me chocolate instead of going myself, will anyone ever love me? or will i end up alone with 10 beagles?

I dont have so many troubling thoughts and when i do, i either work through it on my own in my head or i write it down in a journal. I feel that this blog is not a place for negativity or my own negativity. There is no point writing down my own problems on here. I will gladly help others with their problems and you can share yours with me, that is no problem but i prefer to not write out my own, not anymore anyway. That is not the purpose of this blog anymore.

I am the type of person who analyzes things but keeps silent and i often dont judge people. So if i see something or weird or strange i just dont really care and dont think about it too much... i know, this might not make sense as i analyze things as well. But i analyze things in my own life. I am the type of person who can recieve a weird look from my mum and suddenly i think she is angry at me for no reason or i start thinking have i done something, when in actuality she was just tired and there was nothing more to the look she gave me.
   So my analytical mind can be annoying when i am with friends as i can think that small comments or weird looks mean so much more than they actually do, and THOSE types of things can stay in my head for a very longing time and i can end up convincing myself that people hate me. Which is why i can feel very held back and shy, because a part of my mind tells me that people dont actualy like me. Thats why i am shocked that people read my blog at times because i think, why..... what is so great about me or my blog? Its pretty useless compared to others. Though THIS is just my low self esteem talking. Telling me that i am not good or not good enough, and this sort of thinking is evil. It will haunt you and bring you down until you are lying on the ground and cant physically or mentally stand up because all you hear is negativity and how useless and awful you are.
  So even if some negative thoughts such as those pop up into my head, i just refuse to listen to them and instead.... try to remind myself that i can only be me. I have my flaws and imperfections but that doesnt mean that people dont like me. Or that there is something wrong with me.  Instead i think about the thingsi  am good at or the things i do like about myself.

Hey, who knew that i would actually write some thoughts on here. hahaha, i didnt think i would. But sometimes the words just flow..... and in this case they did!!!
Low self esteem is something you need to keep working on, pretty much your whole life. You have to keep reminding yourself that you are good, that people like you, that you arent useless. You have to be your own cheerleader and motivator!!! So keep fighting those thoughts! Even i can feel pretty useless, ugly and awful at times. But i am not going to let that stop me from smiliing or doing the things i want to or living my life.
  Hiding in a corner because my mind has convinced me that my friends hate me, that is not a way to live and also not the truth either. Your mind is not always right.

Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

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