Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Lost my voice and drinking tea

Wow.... who knew you could go from 100% feeling great lots of energy to feeling pretty shitty in a matter of hours.
   It sucks because the weekend i choose to rest just because, i wasnt feeling sick and had no symptoms. It was just to let my body rest and focus on other things in my life and then Monday i was feeling 100% healthy and excited and filled with energy, but by Monday evening my throat was burning and raw and i was beginning to lose my voice. Last night was an awful night with little to no sleep because of my sore throat and today i have had pretty much no voice... some raspy whispers i have managed when a teacher has asked me a question and i have had to try to whisper that i have no voice. Why i went to school? Because i felt i couldnt miss the lessons because they are all so important at the moment. And the funny thing is, its only my throat... i dont have a runny nose, i dont have a fever, i physically have lots of energy, apart from having no apetite... its mostly the fact that i cant breathe and it feels like i am coughing up my lungs every 10 minutes and lets not mention the fact that i can barely swallow because my throat is so swollen and sore.
Wow, that was alot of negativity! haha. During a school break i had to go to the shop to buy some strepsils, an energy drink to give me energy and a bar to eat as my apetite was (and is at 0).
   I dont know how it is in your country but here in Sweden you have to be 18 or older to buy things like strepsils, cough medicine and painkillers? I think its super strange, especially with things like throat losengers.... i mean, really. When i was 16 there were times i really needed a painkiller or some type of throat soother and couldnt buy it on my own? Its to limit the amount of overdoses and such on those types of medicines, but still.... haha

This evening im continuing with my tea drinking, going to watch a film and try to get some food into me. Though the worst thing is that my head tells me i should eat, that i need to eat and that its Xpm and i havent eaten dinner but my stomach just says no.... its such a horrible feeling, because when my body says no but my head says yes, i still cant make myself eat because my body doesnt have the apetite for it. Of course 1 or 2 days of eating less isnt going to make me lose weight or anything, but at the same time i am aware of how easily i can lose weight and i dont like it :( Thats what i hate about being sick, my body just takes energy from itsself and im left feeling weak and super skinny again, even if it doesnt go that quickly. hahah (just some thoughts!)

Tomorrow i need to go to school for my morning lessons, but after that im coming home and unless i feel better i will most probably spend Thursday and Friday at home as well... and most probably a whole week of rest as well, just to make sure that i recover properly :)

Ohhh and i had to cancel my dinner date plans :( I felt really bad, but the fact that i cant speak and my eyes are watering every 15 minutes from coughing i figured i might not be the best dinner company, hahah XD But we have rescheduled and thats what counts anyway!! :)

managed to eat something anyway when i came home from school.

I have gotten lots and lots of emails recently but at the moment i am not answering them - for obvious reasons (hopefully anyway). So i hope you understand, and that you might find the information you are looking for on my blog or you can leave a comment and might get help faster that way :)


  1. Keep fighitng! <3

  2. Dont worry about taking rest weeks. Its actually can help when you strength train alot. every 6-8 weeks of intense training should be folowed by a week were you just rest and eat. I plan my rest weeks and every time i come back stronger than before and have PBs on everything. Ps it sounds like maybe you have strep throat? Is anyone else in your family sick?

    1. Yeah i do know this. And I'm not worried about losing results or anxiety or anything. More that I love working out so it sucks when I can't do it. .. For example if someone loves painting or dancing and they are told they can't do it. But I do know I will come back stronger after resting and getting better :)

      It might be that. A lot friends have been sick and my family were sick a few weeks ago... so i dont think it's that. Otherwise I think it's just bacteria or something.

  3. Aww I hope you feel better soon!!
    Lots of love
    Livvy xoxox :)

  4. Feel better!
    BTW that food makes my mouth water

  5. I hope you feel better soon! Being sick sucks!