Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, January 24, 2015

How/when are you declared healthy?

Alot of questions i have gotten over the past few months is how and when do doctors declare you healthy?
  Is it as soon as you reach your healthy weight? How do doctors actually know if you are healthy or not?

What doctors can do is look at your behaviour, ask people who are around you to explain your behaviour.... do you act weird around food or exercise? Are you distant? Very angry? Isolate yourself? Feel weird or do weird things around food like always eating on your own? Does the person experience anxiety around food or change their behaviour when someone mentions going for a pizza or something like that.
  As well as that you, the person who has/had an eating disorder might have to fill in a questionnaire and answer questions about your physical and mental health. This is what i had to do at Mando anyway... though in all honesty, that didnt work so well. Because during one of my lowest points of my eating disorder i had to fill in one of those formulas/questionnaires but i didnt want the staff and doctors to know how much i was struggling so then all my answers came back as normal... like a healthy person would answer, or even better. Though they didnt believe those answers because everything else i.e my behaviour, what my mum said about my behaviour and such as well as my blood tests were all very negative.
   Blood tests are also a way for the doctor to know if your body is healthy or not.... a simple blood test can show whether you are purging or not, whether you are eating enough etc

Though can your doctor know if you are actually healthy or not... no he/she cant. No one else apart from YOU can know that. Because its in YOUR head. Its your thoughts.
  Thats the thing, many people get declared healthy even though they are half recovered because they might have a close to normal weight and behave some what normally but they are still controlled by a voice in their head. And because they are close to, or at their healthy weight then doctors might not care.... they care about the physical. When its actually the mental health which is very important.

Its YOU who has to fight your thoughts, its YOU who has to make sure that you keep fighting even if you are a normal weight. You need to get rid of those thoughts, not let food or weight or exercise or any other fears control you. You cant settle for half recovery and think you are healthy. Because you arent and you are missing out on SO MUCH then.

There were many times during my recovery i tried to beg and plead and convince my case manager and my mum that i was healthy but they didnt believe me. Which i think is a good thing though at the time i hated them. I wasnt healthy, i had fear foods, i had weird behaviour around food, i wasnt a healthy weight, i didnt have my period, resting could cause anxiety at times. I knew i wasnt healthy but my ED didnt want me to go to hospital anymore... it wanted me to be declared healthy so that i could begin losing weight and not eating as much.
   My case manager knew this.... she was a really good person and she knew how to help. She told me, if i was so healthy then why couldnt i gain the weight? I can say no when im actually healthy if i had to gain 2-3kg to have more freedom or for example, if my mum told me i wasnt allowed to run unless i gained another 2-3 kg i could do that and not care. But at that time in 2012, having to gain those 2-3 kg to have a healthy weight scared me. But she gave me an ultimatum... either i gain the weight or i go back to day patients. And that gave me a kick to gain the weight..... and then the next few months it was eating, facing fear foods, resting, beginning to truly live life not just follow routines, waiting for my period to come back, feeling healthier and stronger and happier.
   And the day i was declared healthy i felt both physically and mentally healthy. I had to fill in a questionnaire, take blood samples, eat lunch at Mando and talk to the doctor and answer questions and then he declared me healthy.

Of course since then it was an up and down journey and i did have some dips and bad thoughts, but i just kept getting stronger.

However im getting off topic..... As mentiond, doctors can often just look at the physical and think you are healthy. But YOU have to know whether you are healthy or not. Is there a voice in your head controlling you? Then you arent healthy.

You are healthy when you are no longer controlled by a voice in your head, you are free from negative thoughts about your body, food, weight, calories, exercise and such. When your body is healthy and you can be at peace.

So fight for TRUE recovery. Sometimes doctors are wrong and for your own sake DONT trick the doctor. The doctor, family, therapist etc they are trying to help you. If you arent healthy and still struggling, let them know. Get the help you need. Because in all honesty... what good is it lying to them? Its your life, you are wasting your own life.


  1. i completely agree with everything said here

    (to the creator of the drawing who wrote "health>thinness" : you can be BOTH thin and healthy! )

    1. Ohh yeah you can be both HEALTHY thin and healthy.... :)