Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, January 10, 2015

How to prevent a relapse (eating disorders)

Some people say that relapse is inevitable and that it will happen during recovery. I dont believe this is true however. I did relapse myself during recovery, but i still dont think its true for everyone. I believe that some people can decide to recover and keep making that choice and never relapse.

To prevent a relapse it is all about being aware of your thinking, choices, actions, triggers and coping mechanisms. They all sort of come together but i thought i would write about how to prevent a relapse in this post, so maybe you can be more aware of these things in the future or even right now.

The first thing is To be aware of your thinking and choices. You go out to a burger place and you order a salad when the rest of your friends order burgers, Think about your choice... was it because you actually wanted a salad and that at right at that moment you didnt want to eat a burger but you know you might eat a burger in the next few days. Or was it because you are scared of the calories in a burger? Or is it because you know you are going to have dessert after dinner so you want to compensate and eat less during the day. Alot of choices can be made subconsciously, but i believe deep down you know why you made the choice.
Did you choose to say no to going for coffee and cake with friends and instead go and workout because at that moment you wanted to workout and thought it would be more fun than being with your friends or was it because you felt you had to, that you would get panic because you didnt workout. Or was it because you didnt want to have to be forced to eat cake or something else.

When you begin to relapse your thinking begins to change as well... you go from having 5 potatoes to 3 potatoes and suddenly eating just one potatoe scares you and you cant always answer why. Or the only answer you have is that potatoe has too many carbs or you think eating potatoes will make you fat (i can assure you none of these things will happen if you eat potatoes in moderation i.e not eating 20 potatoes each day!)
   If you crave chocolate but tell yourself no that you arent allowed chocolate, what is your reason behind it?  That you already ate chocolate an hour ago?  Or because you are scared of the energy content of chocolate or becauase you think you cant eat it because you havent exercised? etc
 If you start getting thoughts like that, what you need to do instead is im going to eat chocolate 3 times per week , or more if that is what i crave and i am going to keep doing that until eating chocolate no longer gives me anxiety or makes me scared.

You need to fight what it is that is beginning to cause you anxiety and fear again, because if you dont. The anxiety and fear will become stronger and it will be harder to fight the longer you let it control you again.
  You need to remember that being scared of certain foods or not eating certain food groups or not going out to eat because you are scared of calories or getting fat, that isnt healthy. Those are sick thoughts and they need to be fought.

Also... if you ever start getting thoughts of compensation or feeling alot of guilt after eating or not exercising, then you need to make sure to fight those feelings and thoughts right away. Dont compensate and sit down and think rationally..... why am i feeling this way? What has triggered me? How can i change it?

If your behaviour begins resembling ones that you had when you were sick such as weighing food, doing 50 sit ups every 10 minutes or drinking x glass of water with meals then you have to be aware of them and change them before they begin controlling you again. Dont slip back into bad habits because that is step one of relapse... when you start doing things, often subconsciouly which you did when you were sick. Instead, you need to become more conscious and change your habits and what you are doing. If you ever find that you are doing something unconsciously such as doing 50 squats before you go to bed and you find yourself doing them without really realising it, instead STOP. Sit down and think about why you did them in the first place? What was the aim of it? Did you really want to do them or was it just a habit, compulsion or anxiety filled  habit that made you do them?

Its also important to be aware of triggers. The further you come into the healthy stage and recovered the less triggers you have because you have learnt to face the triggers so that they are no longer triggers or you have coping mechanisms for them. But its important to be aware of what triggers you so that you can stop it and cope.
  For example, maybe you get triggered by watching the Victorias secret fashion show.... well then avoid watching it. Know that it will just cause you more pain than joy and that you get nothing positive out of it. So why watch it? or maybe you get triggered by some online accounts for some reason or other, then delete them from yourlife... maybe you get triggered by your own account? Maybe you had a recovery(slash... not so recovery?) blog that triggers you when you log onto it... then delete it, start something new. If things trigger you, then you have to be able to deal and cope with them and not just resort to bad methods. Instead find healthier coping mechanisms which can help you.

Its also important to listen to friends and family, at times they can notice you changing before you realise it yourself. And dont get angry if someone mentions you have lost weight or that you seem to be focusing alot on exercise or food, instead take that advice onboard and think about it..... are you focusing too much on food? Are you isolating yourself from the world just to exercise? Are you slipping back into your eating disorder?

The most important thing is to be AWARE. Be aware of your thoughts, actions, choices, behaviours. Dont just assume that something is ok or normal, infact be ready to change things. Dont just settle for the comfortable because that is not always best.

Pre-relapse signs

THIS & THIS post can also help!


  1. thank you <3 ps i had anorexia for about one year and i could say i recovered now, after only 6 months of recovery (both mentally and phisically). i just wanted to ask is it actually possible to FULLY recover this quickly? i mean, it takes years and years to fully recover for some people and i am not sure if this is 'too quick' ...? sorry for the weird question but i hope you get what i am trying to say here ;)

  2. What a great reminder. Thank you for posting this and giving some reassurance and tools to keep on track.

  3. Thank You so much Izzy, it is really helpful and so so true... Yes, struggling is waiting for us but it's our choice to let them into our lives or not. Being awared, being good for ourselves helps. Because who can help is if not our best decision to actually recover?
    Thank you love.

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