Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Girls night out

 Sitting here and thinking about how to word last night. How to formulate the emotions, feelings and thoughts into words. How to share the fun and excitement i experienced yesterday through words on a screen.
   One word can sum up the nigh - Fun.

To begin with the night wasnt so well organized, but when you plan to go dancing and drinking.... is the night ever organized? We met as a group, 6 girls (me included) and two guys and walked to the club. We were there just before midnight but there was hardly any people and the dancefloor was pretty much empty. So we stood there in a little group trying to dance to the beat of the awful music. But as the time went by the music got better, more people entered the club and the dancefloor and the pre anxiousness and nerves passed by and suddenly i could completely enjoy myself on the dance floor. Not feel self consciousness, but have a really good time.
   My friends all took a beer but i just took a redbull feeling that i didnt want to or need to drink. I could enjoy myself without drinking... but also, i still have a very all or nothing feeling with alcohol. I feel there is no point just having one cider, instead i might as well drink 4.... So i prefer to stick to the nothing and enjoy myself without alcohol, that is what works best for me :)
   We danced and we danced until it felt like my toes were bleeding, my knee was about to pop and my legs could barely keep me standing. So at 3am we began to get ready to go and i was home again by 4am at which point i was starving and dehydrated.
Infact i suddenly now realise why people go to McDonalds after a night out, because all i was craving was a cola, milkshake and fries!!!

So when i came home i made myself a huge snack - 500g quark with raisins and walnuts, 4 crisp bread with spread followed by a questbar!! Finally feeling full, but it also made it super hard to fall asleep then as my body was turning the food into energy! So it wasnt until 5am or later that i finally fell asleep!
  And then i woke up around 10am this morning... though im feeling super awake despite a few hours sleep. However the first thing my sister said when she saw me was: Wow, you look tired and puffy. hahahah XD
      My body is sore from yesterdays workout and my feet are swollen and covered in blisters (3 hours of dancing in very high heels... yup, it does cause pain in the feet!) so my plan is to go to the shop and buy chocolate and other yummy food and just spend the day in bed :):)

Below you see my brunch as i wasnt hungry when i woke up, so decided to wait a little while before making a bigger breakfast combined with lunch!


  1. You look amazing in that dress!Its annoying that people say girls who work out look manly.You look beautiful.

    1. Thank you :) Ive never really understood that... i mean girls dont really have the testosterone to look manly, its only if you workout for like 10+ years and focus on building muscle!!

  2. Hi izzy!!

    I think you look really pretty!! :) And I really like your shoes! Last night I hung out with friends also. At first I was a little worried because she said we were going to have hamburgers and hotdogs but I ended up eating the hamburger and stopped when I was full! Something that ive been having trouble with these last few months. Then later on we had dessert which was chocolate peanut butter pie!!! Normally I don't like pie but this was chocolate ice cream with peanut butter cups inside!!!!! :D Best thing ever! I loooove peanut butter cups! Although in all honesty the peanut butter cups weren't that good, I went back for seconds on dessert! Something I haven't done in a while. And actually, my one friend ended up getting me the second piece and it was huge! Even though it gave me anxiety, I still ate it all and it was delicious.

    I hope you have a good rest day!

    Hannah :)

    1. Thank you!! They were actually realy comfortable to wear... though not so comfortable going home, but they felt great to dance in!
      That is awesome, well done!! And that cake sounds delicious, im glad you could enjoy 2 slices!! Why have 1 when you can have 2 of something delicious :)

  3. Izzy, so glad you had fun with your friends! I think as you get older you will be able to enjoy one cider or wine but for now your plan is great. Your outfit was super cute-I didn't realize that was a top, as in another picture you have it with a long skirt (?) and I thought it was a dress!
    I would like to share with you that last night I had a bowl of Ben and Jerry's "Joy to the Swirled" ice cream and it was DELICIOUS!!!!! THank you for all your inspiration. Next up I might try an egg, now that I see all your egg photos. You deserved a fun night out and I'm so happy for you that it ended up being fun!

  4. hey izzy. you have mentioned your previous bad episodes with alcohol (in 2012?) could you write about it? think it might be relevant for many teenagers suffering from ed myself included :) btw you look great!

    1. Ive made this post about my past and with alcohol:

      And i think ive written another post as well :)

  5. To Misswitt.... i cant seem to reply to you, so i will answer you here and hopefully you see my reply :)

    Thank you, and that sounds delicious with Ben and Jerrys. I have never tried that flavour, but peanut butter cup is my favourite, you should try that one if you like peanut butter... otherwise half baked is delicious as well :)

    And with egg... at the moment i love fried egg, but boiled egg is also super delicious!!! You should definitely try it and dont be scared of the yolk :)