Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, January 18, 2015

Comparing your life to others

Social media, it can be a good thing. You can connect with friends, family and strangers. You get to see photos, be a part of peoples lives and feel connected with people. But there is also the dark side of social media... for many different reasons. But alot of the dark side of social media is actually made in your head... You take a picture of someone at the beach and suddenly you sit there and ramble 10 things you hate about yourself, 5 things you hate about your life and you just feel negative and horrible, but all your friend wanted to do was to show that they are having a good time at the beach.

Comparing your life to others through social media, EVERYONE does this. Infact i know people who have shut off all their social media because they havent been able to cope with the comparison. They have felt so bad about themselves and their life because all they see is other peoples highlights... because that is exactly what it is. That profile picture you see, or that flexing picture, or that lunch picture or 'we're so happy/we're so cute' picture... those are the HIGHLIGHTS. You dont see the backstory, or you dont know how long someone spent taking that picture/thinking of the caption/how many pictures someone took to get the perfect one.

People post the best things, because yes... they want to boast about their cute relationship, or the awesome time they had with their friends, or that unforgetable night.... its all about making themselves seem cool, and yes, making others feel jealous about themselves.

Not everyones life is perfect, not everyone looks good all the time. Its not all happiness and games.

I can find myself comparing my life to others at times, sometimes i see my friends instagram photos and think.... they went to the cinema without me, wow thanks. But in actuality i either didnt have time, i couldnt, or didnt want to join. So why do i all of a sudden feel jealous? Or i see a friend post a picture of being in town with their boyfriend and all i have done is spend my whole day at home and i think...wow, my life is awful. What am i even doing with myself?

Just yesterday i saw one of my friends going to model castings (she has done quite alot of big model jobs, its really cool actually!), one of my friends posting a super cute photo of her and her boyfriend, and a few of my friends had met up at one of their houses.... and no, i hadnt been invited (but ive been sick, so i dont judge them at all!) and at first i was like.... wow, i feel awful about my life. But then i realised that i had a super good day yesterday, i was on a date, i worked out, i had a good day. Why compare myself to others?
  And then i realised, what if my readers are comparing their lives to mine? Im sure some of you might do that, but dont. Trust me. DONT. Because yes, i post the highlights of my day.... i try to be as real and honest as possible, but yes.... only a small part of my life is posted on here as well as a few selected photos. But i want you all to know - im sure you all know by now anyway because i never have anything exciting to write about my life. 
  But yes, i have a boring life. I sometimes do fun or exciting things, but im a super boring person who would much rather choose to watch a movie on a Friday evening than to go out (no actually, going out dancing is super fun and i want to do more of it! XD)
  
But when you are in recovery then life gets extremely boring. Its alot of resting and eating and its SO EASY to begin hating yourself and your life even more when you see others doing fun and exciting things. But all i can say is DONT COMPARE YOURSELF. This is your life right now, and those photos you see..... they are people posting their 'best things' from the day.

When i was in recovery i barely ever used FB. 1) because i didnt have the energy to keep in contact with people and 2) i couldnt cope with the guilt and comparison when i saw other peoples photos. Luckily for me at that time Instagram wasnt used or rarely anyway, it wasnt as big as it is now a days. So i didnt have to worry about seeing friends 'best' photos from there.

I know it can be tough with social media, but i want you all to remember that there is more than that one or two photos you see. Everyone has boring moments in their lives, everone wakes up looking like crap (most of the time), most people have dull and boring moments or days or weeks in their lives. Its ok.... instead of thinking about how awful your life is. Make a change. DO fun things. But also know, you DONT have to post everything you do online. Sometimes its easy for it to become a competition, where you feel you HAVE to post everything exciting you do just to show off, make it seem like you are cool and active and do fun things. But you dont have to do that. Sometimes its nice to just keep those things to yourself as well :)
  I mean i personally love sharing things i do on my blog, and 75% of the time i talk about exciting things i do with my friends, but i dont share so much of it on my other social media.... it doesnt feel so necessary really. Somethings need to be private, and not every detail needs to be published on the internet.

Anyway, i feel myself getting off topic (its 11pm Saturday evening when im writing this post).

But i want you all to be kind to yourself and if you have to .... either delete people from your life, that includes my blog if it triggers you or gives you negative feelings, or make a change in your life and make it the way you WANT it to be!!!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this Izzy, it helps a lot as I often compare myself to others and I know that it's so detrimental. However, I have a problem with that in actual life, not on social media...For example, with academic results. I am currently in my third year of University and the pressure is really on to perform well. Since deciding to recover I have really tried to focus on the other positive things that I have in my life and the other worths that I have other than loosing weight and my image. However, I have now found that I have put a lot of pressure on myslef to perfome well in my exams etc, otherwise I can get quite upset. That being said, I find it hard not to constantly compare myself to other people in my year when we get marks - especially when some people seem to do so well without trying! It makes me feel so jealous and resentful towards them, and I feel awful about myself and I hate it! xxxx

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