Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, January 31, 2015

What makes YOU happy?

This afternoon i spent some time thinking about what makes me happy... the small things in life. Friends, family, working out etc that all makes me happy. But then there are some small things in life which just add positivity and happiness to my life :)
  So i thought i would share them and that YOU can share YOURS. So that we can spread some happiness and positivity here on my blog :)


Find the things in life that make you happy :)



  • Tea and coffee. In the morning/afterschool/evening... just sitting and drinking some tea or coffee is something i always appreciate to the max!! Best enjoyed on my own if im honest :)
  • Good music. Music can always make things better!! There is music for all times, emotions, feelings, moods :)
  • Fluffy socks and my soft night gown. I love,love,love these :) My feet are always cold so wearing fluffy socks is the best thing i know. And wearing my nightgown when i get up in the morning.... i feel like im still in my bed then :) Still kept all warm!!!
  • Laughing & laughter. Whether its because of funny videos, funny pictures, friends or just because i feel happy. I love laughing :) Sometimes all you can do or all you need is to laugh!
  • New bedsheets and duvet... you know that feeling when your bed has been made with clean sheets? I love it!! Then i never want to leave my bed :)
  • Waking up in the morning with energy... or morning kisses :) Thats always really nice and makes me happy as well!
  • Sunshine!!! If the sun is shining there is a 90% chance that i will be in a good mood and feeling happy :)

These are just some small things in life that make me happy :) APPRECIATE the small things in life :)


In a relationship vs. being single - my thoughts

I thought i would write a little post about being in a relationship vs. being single.

Now i am no relationship expert and i am not pretending to be either, but i am going to say from my own experience (which isnt that much, but still).
  It can often feel like you will be single forever when you are single. You see other people in relationships and you wonder what is wrong with you? You think that its your appearance, or your personality or your characteristics. But you know what... its not. Its just that you havent found anyone who suits you. Relationship work both ways... i.e you have to like the person and the person has to like you back.
   It can be hard to find someone you like though if you go to a small school or you only hang out with your friends in your class and you never meet anyone new. So it does require meeting new people... whether its friends of friends, going out, joining a group/hobby, joining a sports group or even online is the new thing. (Though of course, remember there are risks involved with this!)

For me personally i was hung up one guy which i liked in my school since 2,5 years ago. But the fact that i had never spoken to him, didnt know so much about him or his personality so much... it was more a vain crush. Liking his appearance... who knows, we could have been compatible but it would have required talking which i wasnt confident enough to do.

Know that if you are single, its not because no one likes you its because you havent found the right one for you. Whether it takes 5 years, 2 months or 3 weeks to find the right person for you... there is somone who is out there for you.

Now i dont know if i believe in soulmates and im not going to say anything about my current relationship because we're still in the beginning stages.. i dont know what will happen. But i like the guy, i like spending time with him. I feel comfortable and feel happy. And for me, that is what i want. He is nice, he is funny and i like spending time with him, finding out more things about him as well as doing things together.
    The beginning of a relationship is usually awkward if you dont know the person so well.... you have to find things to talk about, things to do. You have to find out if you like the person or not, whether you are compatible or not. For some people they know after the first date, others know after the 5th date. Though the worst thing you can do is lead someone on if you know its not going anywhere, thats not fair for anyone.

So... after spending pretty much 99% of my life single, apart from two or three guys, i wasnt with anyone i really liked. Either it was peer pressure or i was trying to find out whether i liked the person or not. Not sure what i wanted or how i felt... and that of course lead to not much happening. Because if you dont show interest yourself then the other person might not be so interested either as it shouldnt be a one way relationship.

When you are in a relationship life, routines and habits change. You do things spontaneously, you dont have your same routines. My spending the evening with series or youtube is now spent watching films with A. Not eating dinner on my own (Because my family work evenings) . Also the time spent travelling!!!
   Finding time for things can also be harder when you try to balance school/work, hobbies, personal and social life. For me, i of course choose to spend time with my friends, family, boyfriend over exercising. I exercise if i have time for it... but school work is also on my number 1 list. So things like that change.... though not so much right now because during school days i still workout during the same times and then spend the evening with A if i have time for it.

When you are single you have more freetime and hey... you can look at other people and not feel guilty for it. You can be chatted up by random people (if you enjoy that) or flirt with people. You wont be single forever even if it feels like that. Of course i know, there are people who arent interested in relationships or anything sexual and THAT IS OK. Trust me, that is ok. Everyone is different and not everyone wants a relationship or to even do anything sexual. That is your choice and you should do what is best for you :) Some people are perfectly happy being single and that is AWESOME. I was also happy being single, of course i wanted a boyfriend and to have a relationship but it just sort of happened. I started talking to a guy, then we met and then we kept  going for dates until we both knew what we wanted which was to start a relationship. And like already mentioned, who knows where this is going... but im not going to think about that. Instead live in the moment and enjoy how life is right now!!



Now i feel this post has just dragged on and ive written about myself (as usual.) but what i want to say is DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU ARE SINGLE. It is not you. Give it time. I mean do you really want to spend your whole life in a relationship? Enjoy the time you are single, but also if you want a relationship... then start meeting new people. You cant expect some perfect stranger to walk up to you and ask you out if you dont do anything different or you dont step outside of your comfort zone to get to know new people!!
   Also give it time :) There is more to life than relationships, focus on other things as welll.


So if you are feeling bad or feeling like the only single friend or person, you arent. And most people do feel lonely or a little jealous when their friends are in relationships and such, but one day you will also be in a relationship if thats what YOU want.




Running tips & resources

5 ways to beat lonliness

1. First, don’t isolate yourself – When you’re feeling lonely it is hard to go out and be with others who seem to be OK, and don’t really notice how lonely you feel.  But putting up a wall and withdrawing from your friends will only intensify that sense of loneliness, and will further undermine your self-esteem.
2. Second, keep yourself busy – Do things that you normally enjoy with others. For example, listening to a band or maybe going to watch a game … or you could always try something that’s new, but interests you! That would allow you to connect in a non-threatening way … as it takes the focus off talking, and off you.
3. Third, be kind to yourself - It’s likely that you regularly beat yourself up, criticise yourself and are unrealistic in the kinds of expectations that you have for yourself. So what, if it goes wrong? You can always try again – just learn what you can from the experience. And notice your successes and the times when it goes well. It’s likely that this happens a lot more than you think!
4. Fourth, recognise that we ALL battle loneliness at times - You’re not some kind of freak – it’s actually quite normal. It something we’ve all known and understand. 
5. Fifth, talk to someone you like and trust – It can really help to talk about your feelings with a family member, a friend or counsellor. It relieves some of the painful sense of isolation – and help to get your life back in perspective again

Unusual Saturday morning

Good morning everyone :)
 its 8.20am here in Sweden and ive already been awake 4 hours or so!! Waking up before 8am on a weekend is not really my ideal thing to do! But anyway, onto yesterday..... after eating a quick snack and getting changed i headed to A's work place where i got to meet all his co-workers and friends. Then we headed back to his place and watched Hobbit 3..... and in all honesty its 2 hours 30 of just war and battling. Not my favourite type of film but now i have seen the Hobbit films anyway. I dont know if i would recommend them or not? Its not really my type of movie but that doesnt mean its bad.

By the time the movie was over we were both so tired so i decided that i would sleep at his place.

If anyone has read my blog for a while they might know that i can get quite anxious when i sleep at other places than my own bed. This is something i developed after spending so many months as an inpatient.
  But i didnt feel any anxiety or worry or want to go home!!

As he is working today he had to get up at 6am so i woke up as well then but tried to get back to sleep as we had only slept roughly 4 hours or something but after 30 minutes of just lying there i decided i might as well get up and get ready to go home.

The first thing was to figure out how to take myself to the nearest station and then once i leave the apartment and look outside i see its a snow storm outside and i had my sort of 'heel boots' on & a skirt and tights and my non winter/snow coat. Then when i got to the nearest station and look at the time table i realise that the train doesnt always stop there... only if you have somehow contacted someone telling them that you are going to get on/off at that station. So i stood there half panicking because the next train would go in 30 minutes and i had no idea where a bus or other train station was.... but luckily the train stopped and i got on and an hour later was home again!!!

So now im just after eating breakfast and about to clean my room and then i'll see what i do. I had planned to go running today but the energy for that just isnt in me as well as it is a snow storm outside. So i think instead it will just be food and study and then i'll see what my plans are this evening :):)






Friday, January 30, 2015

Those bad body image days

Today has been a really good day and i have felt really good and felt a bit like goldilocks with my hair all new washed.
  However when i came home and after eating my snack i was going to change as i started feeling super uncomfortable in what i was wearing, like my clothes were getting tighter and yup... im in another phase of bloating. hahaha. XD Its like as soon as i ate i bloat. Somedays its just like this and sucks... especially when you are trying to look and feel good. So after numeerous changes, running around in my room in search of a top to wear. Looking in the mirror, disliking what i see, walking away only to walk back a few moments later because i need to put on make up etc
     These days and FEELINGs suck. But i know they will pass... i guess its tiredness, it has been along week afterall.

And my best tips when you feel like this... i.e disliking what you see and feeling a certain way.

1) Remember its just a feeling. No... you arent expanding, no you havent gained a kilo fat in half a day. Its just feelings.
2) Drink some water. Write down your thoughts. DONT panic.
3) Put on something cosy or nice or try to just not think of what you are wearing and how you feel.
4) Distract yourself!! Dont just sit around and feel bad, instead do something.

I dont really have an option, i have to leave in 1 minute... (Why am i blogging? By the time this is up ive already left anyway!)

We all have these feelings and thoughts. They suck, they can ruin your day, but DONT LET THEM. Instead disconnect your thoughts from your body, you are NOT your body. You are so much more than your appearance. You are you and your personality and qualities and traits.
  So dont just let your appearance control you. There is so much more to life than that... because yes, people bloat. I cant stop the fact that im bloating right now... uncomfortable, sort of. But im only human!!!


A bit of a rushed post but i just wanted to write out my thoughts a little, show you that im only human and also have fat/bad body image days as well!!! Also SHARE your tips on what you do to help when you have bad body image days or feel fat incase others need them :)





Friday finds:

Food:



Drink:
Homemade raspberry sun tea- my latest favorite thing to drink during the summer!


Motivation:


Funny:
The one with the treadmill. | 31 GIFs That Will Make You Laugh Every Time

Snack suggestion:


Cravings:



Wanting:
The Calvin Klein underwear set!!!



Clothes i want/need(??)!)




(If you havent noticed... i have a sports bra addiction!)

Longing for:
Summer days!
Nothing like wiggling our toes in the clear sea | Source: http://zsazsabellagio.tumblr.com/post/47703901293/escapetosummerparadise
Lie on a hammock by the beach and just relax and breathe in the fresh air!
Summer...wish life could be like that forever!

Waiting for:
paleception:

random-melody:

“It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked.”-Rob Bell

This is too beautiful to not reblog


Something that made me smile:
indolullaby:

the-sleeping-dragon:

thelightofnight:

nicoffeine:

OH MY GOSH

I have two hands and three foods.

JUST PUT ONE IN YOUR MOUTH, SMALL ONE

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP HIM


Peanut butter oreo banana bread recipe

PB Oreo Banana Bread at www.somethingswanky.com #recipes #dessert
Peanut Butter Oreo Banana Bread
Ingredients
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 2 overripe bananas
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup buttermilk
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
  • 15 Oreos, crushed (I use a food processor)
  • 6 Oreos, crumbled for topping (I just did this with my hands)
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350°. Grease two standard sized loaf pans or 4 mini loaf pans.
  2. Mix oil, peanut butter, and sugar in a large bowl with a stand mixer whisk.
  3. Add the bananas, eggs, sour milk, and baking soda to the peanut butter mixture. Beat until combined.
  4. Slowly mix in flour, beating just until combined, don't over mix!
  5. Mix in the crushed Oreos. Divide the batter evenly between the two pans (even if it looks like the batter could all fit comfortably in one pan, don't! I've found that I can't get it to bake all the way through without burning the outside if I only use one pan).
  6. Crumble the 6 Oreos over the batter (3 Oreos for each).
  7. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out mostly clean (it IS a very moist bread, so you may still have a little bit of bread that sticks to the toothpick, that's ok).
  8. Let cool for at least 10 minutes in the pans before trying to slice.

Friday 30th January & positives of the day!

Friday the 30th of January, and only one more day of the month!!!
Anyhow... Need i say that i have spent far more time blogging than i thought i would so once again im stuck in the i have 10 minutes on me to brush my teeth, brush my hair, finish drinking coffee, pack my bag etc etc etc
 
But i did this thing called 'Friday Finds' where i just post some pictures and things i have found online recently... and well, it took more time than i had thought!!

I thought i would quickly write about my day which is a workout followed by school followed by quickly coming home and then going to A's place for movie dinner :)Yes we're going to watch lots and lots of movies :) But im not complaining, i love movies! He works 10-12 hours 6 days a week so then its kind of nice to not just run around town. We can do that on his days off :)

That is my plan for the day and im looking forward to it!! So hopefully it will be a good day!!!


And even though it is super early in the morning i already have my positives of the day:

1) Warm coffee!
2) Its Friday!!
3) Cant wait until this evening
4) 'Fredagsmys' in my philosophy class today
5) Seeing my friends
6) Workout soon!
7) I have lots of energy (I LOVE being a morning person... getting up early isnt so hard for me once i have a routine!)



Share your positives of the day if you have any :)

Healthy fats and Omega 3

Quite alot of people fear the word 'fat' and especially when it comes to food... if food has fat in it, they feel the need to avoid it. But why.... healthy fats such as avocados, salmon, nuts, seeds, oils etc are GOOD and NECESSARY for your body. Infact Omega 3 & 6 are essential for your body, and lots of people dont get their recommended amount of Omega 3. There are lots of benefits to it such as:


I personally take 1-3 Omega 3 capsules a day usually with breakfast for best absorption. As most people dont eat enough of Omega 3 it can be very helpful to take capsules.

Omega 3 is an important part of a healthy diet, and can be bought in many different stores


2 (1)
Omega 3

Does It Matter How You Get Your Omega-3s?
"Your supermarket is loaded with foods boasting omega-3 content: The nutrient can be found in flaxseeds, chia seeds, kale, fortified orange juice and bread, fish, and fish oil supplements.
That’s great, because research has found that omega-3s may improve your brain function, decrease your risk of heart disease, and help with overall inflammation. But not all sources are created equal, says Men’s Health nutrition advisor Mike Roussell, Ph.D.
Think of omega-3 fatty acids in two very separate categories, Roussell says: The kinds that come from fish, EPA and DHA; and the kind that comes from plants, ALA.
The omega-3s from fish have stronger evidence backing their heart-health benefits. Research has suggested that these fatty acids may reduce the fat in your blood and decrease inflammation, which is the root of heart disease, Roussell says. They may even improve the electrochemistry of your heart, he says.
It was thought that the plant-derived omega-3s were only good for your heart because your body converted them into smaller amounts of EPA, one of the fish-derived fatty acids. By that theory, you’d need to eat a lot of chia seeds to get the same benefits as you’d get from a chunk of salmon.
But recent science suggests that we might not have given ALA enough credit. In a review, Penn State researchers concluded that ALA may have benefits beyond being converted into EPA. It may help prevent heart disease on its own by reducing inflammation. Still, more research needs to be done to find out if omega-3s from plants are as good for you as those from fish—and how much you would need to consume to reap the rewards, Roussell says.
The takeaway: Don’t swap fish for flax just yet. 
Roussell is standing by his general recommendation to aim for a total of 1,000 milligrams of fish-derived omega-3s daily. “Most people don’t eat fatty fish with enough consistent frequency, so I think everyone should take a supplement,” he says. It’s also a good idea to shoot for 2 to 3 grams of ALA daily in the form of foods like flaxseeds, flaxseed oil, walnuts, canola oil, and chia seeds, he says."
post in cooperation with privatetrainingonline.se

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Happiness is contageous

Its Thursday evening here in Sweden but I wish it was Friday evening.... :/ One more day of school tomorrow and i am not looking forward to it, but im not going to think about that now, instead im going to think about what a good day i have had today!!!

This morning for school we had to go to a temple for our religion class where we got to see their practise and then do some interviews, film and ask some questions as we have a video assignment to do. So after our afternoon lessons my friends and I sat and worked 2,5 hours on that video though making videos isnt really our skill! But i think it will turn out ok, so going to continue working on that tomorrow :)



Came home and made myself my favourite snack at the moment... and i have actually tried some of your snack suggestions, ive made french bread, oatmeal with different flavours, overnight oats etc though they havent looked so good so i have avoided taking a picture :)
  My snack today was protein pancakes, greek yoghurt with granola, dark chocolate and walnuts. Followed by some more nuts and seeds  :)




After my snack i decided to go to the shop to get the ingredients for THESE cookies. In Sweden we have this thing called Fredagsmys i.e cosy friday? Basically its what alot of Swedish people have Friday evenings. They buy chips and chocolate and drink and watch a film or something with their friends and family.... but in my philosophy class we have decided to have 'fredagsmys' where everyone brings in something...... so i decided i would bake my delicious cookies and cream cookies. They are SOOO good. Half the batch has already disappeared and ALSO. You have to try the combination of Oreos & cookie dough on top.... I ate 2 or 3 ok 4 of them! So good :):):)



After eating lots of cookies and oreos it was then dinner with my family, somehow i still had room for more, though i must admit. Now im feeling the need to just lie down or take a really cold shower because my body is heating up from all the sugar! If you dont know this about me, whenever i eat too much sugar i start sweating like crazy, feel sick and often need to lie down :( Sometimes i just want to eat like 5+ cookies... why must my body act this way?

Onto other topics... today has been a really good day :) Though on the way home from schoool, feeling hungry and tired as i stayed 2,5 hours after school i was just irritated at everyone!! haha.

Now anyway i need to get ready for tomorrow and starting pack my bag etc :) Once again, having too much to do at once!!