Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

What is freedom to me

Freedom, the word i literally have stamped on my body. It's a word that has so much meaning but also so many different meanings.
  What exactly is freedom? Many people assume that freedom is the same as YOLO (for those of you who dont know, YOLO means you only live once). And once again, the word YOLO has many different meanings..... to go out drinking everyday, behave recklessly and only think of the now, not thinking of the consequences in the future. Is that the same as freedom?
  To some, being free means being able to go drinking, spend late nights out raging around in the city or up until the early hours wasting time and doing crazy things.
  While for others freedom is being able to travel the whole world, experience new things, go on adventures and have no one hold them back from what they want to do.

For me, Freedom means freedom from my past.It means that i am the one in control, that i have freedom to make the choices I want. For so many years, infact almost my whole life i have never really had any choices. I have had simple choices of whether i want an apple or an orange, whether i want to wear converse or boots etc but other important choices i never got the choice to make. They were taken away from me.
  My parents divorced when i was very young so every weekend my sister and I would travel 90 minutes to spend 2 days with our dad and then the other 5 days would be spent at our mums. When i got older the travelling, and not having the choice of whether i want to spend a whole week at my dads place or a whole week at my mums place bothered me alot. But also because of my chronic illness, Cystic Fibrosis alot of choices were taken away from me as i was sick so often. I had to take medication everyday, be admitted to hospital and go to hospital appointments every 2-4 weeks. Then when i became sick with anorexia (which lead to other things) my choices were once again taken away from me. I thought it was a way of controlling myself and my life, getting my choices back but infact my choices were taken away from me. I spent 2 years in different hospitals trying to recover and there i had almost no choices which made me feel like i was suffocating and had no control over anything anymore. I was just a doll, i had no power or control over my own life.
I am very independent and like to have control over things and be able to make my own decisions. So not being able to do any of those things was the worst thing imaginable but it also gave me a reason to fight. To get my freedom back.

Once i recovered and got my freedom and health back i told myself i would NEVER go back to the way i was before. I would never let go of my freedom... from that moment on i would make my own choices, i would be free.
  Not only free to live my life and make choices but free from my past and my past demons.

When i was recovered and healthy i decided to tattoo the word 'Freedom' & birds on my arm as a symbol of what i have been through as well as the freedom i now have.

Freedom to me means being happy, being free, making decisions YOU are happy about.  Choosing whether you want to work or go to school, whether you want to eat oatmeal or yoghurt, whether you want to live in the country you do or move country. I am a strong believer in choices and having the right to choose which leads to my strong belief in Freedom!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post! :) its so nice and freeing to be able to do what you want and not listen to some voice and be miserable all the time, thats for sure!!