Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, December 8, 2014

Turn the negatives into positives

In general, today has been a pretty negative and bad day.... Or, well it started off with being super bloated - ate alot of salt yesterday so my body was retaining alot of water. I took a photo of my crazy bloating which i thought i would post *flattering*  but now i cant... and you'll find out why in a moment.
  Despite the bloating and looking like i was pregnant i put on my comfy clothes which - sounding very weird - is a skirt and tight top? (How that works with bloating and feeling comfortable, its strange) But throw on a loose top ontop and its perfect! So i went to school looking and feeling good.

I sat an hour before school and did maths and felt that i was beginning to understand... or like i said yesterday, i understand but im doing something wrong and didnt know what it was i was doing wrong. But i figured it out i think!

Then when i was going to my first lesson my mobile fell out of my pocket and landed right on the screen. Luckily it didnt shatter the screen... however the actual screen isnt working - just a mix of lights. :/ And queue stress mode -_- From that point on it all went downhill. I spent my first lesson just trying to find the cheapest place to fix my phone but it was super expensive and i realised it was cheaper to just buy a new phone.. and pay every month -_- Usch, added bills each month. So thats what im planning to do as soon as i can, though whether i get the chance to buy a new one this week or next week i dont know :(
 But i can say... life without a mobile is hard. I am a  Self confessed mobile addict. Im not even ashamed of it. Of course, i put my mobile down and away when im with family and friends, but the truth is, i do rely on my phone alot as i have alot of online social media things going on in my life.
 So now.... everything will just be harder. No music, no quick googling, no blogging, no replying to emails on the go etc etc This will be good training for me. Though i must admit, it feels like just a few weeks ago when i had no phone because my one broke (that wasnt my fault, it was a faulty camera!)

Anyway, from that moment on it all sort of went down hill... i dropped everything i held, almost. My calculater, water bottles, keys, books, pencils etc etc i was just one big mess almost. haha. Not sure if its stress or just so many thoughts racing in my head that i cant seem to concentrate or think properly.

Then i had my maths test and it just went wrong... and i dont want to see the results of it :( Though im reminding myself that one test wont completely ruin my grade. I dont think i failed, but i doubt i got more than a pass. Yup... im very hard on myself and a bit of a perfectionist in school, so once again... learning to not be so stressed or so much of a perfectionist is something i need to work on.

Then... to continue my negativity on my way to the tube i had 2 older men follow me and start walking a bit too close to just be walking, so that got very uncomfortable. And then i had another man stand and stare directly at me on the train and when i got up to move he moved as well....

I came home exhausted, tired and just not wanting to do anything. The stress of everything making my hunger disappear. But instead i made myself an egg cake with quark, nuts and raspberries &cinnamon. & 1/2 a celsius as i have work to do  and then some chocolate which i bought yesterday but didnt want... so its perfect now!! :)

I had to use my camera which has pretty much fallen apart - so the pictures arent so great... but i feel i HAVE TO have pictures in most of my posts, hahah!! And i prefer to use daily - new pictures!
  So excuse the bad quality - i dont have time to try to lighten them up either. Back to basics ;)


^^If you are ever wondering how/where i take my food pictures ;)




^^That shoulder though ;)



Sorry for the negativity... next post i will try be more positive!!

10 comments:

  1. Oh Izzy! What a chain of frustrating events! I am so proud of you for keeping your wits about it all. The phone thing, what a pain in the arse! Despite it all, you do look adorable in that last picture-kind of a "whatever, what are you gonna do about it all.....!" Also, I tend to get really bloated after a long run-that painful bloating and salt actually *helps* it. Who knows why. You had a long run on Saturday so your GI may be still adjusting to that? I don't know how you can go on a spontaneous 19/20k run with sporadic running. You're just strong that way! Hang in there and keep on doing your thing. You are such a positive role model and have a gentle toughness about you!

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    1. Ohh thank you :) And that sounds very true about the salt and GI!! Hahah, i want to go running tomorrow, i have the energy for it, i'll see what my body says tomorrow though! Maybe i need another days rest, ill see!

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  2. du är grym som tar dig itu med allt. Så himla stark tjej! Hoppas du hade en bra dag och kväll och att du fick lite läst :) Känner igen mig i allt du skriver, kram. Ser gott ut och du är supersnygg btw! <3

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  3. Poor one you! I have my own phone tragedy in fresh memory so I feel for you extra well. I hope you didn't get that much of an emotional loss with the phone. Photos or such? But hey, crappy days are to keep you digesting in the future, as well (because, you know, digestion is a part of life.. metaphors and stuff...)! Just have that break for tonight. Do whatever you feel like doing.

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    1. Ohh yes, i remember when you wrote about that. :/ Its awful when something happens to your phone!
      Luckily i had transfered all my pictures on Sunday 8tahnk god for that) otherwise i would have lost like a month or so worth of pictures!!! XD

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  4. Im so sorry your day turned out that way. But I think you're handling it pretty well with writing it out, trying not to stress as much and treating yourself :)
    Sometimes you just have those days when everything sort of goes wrong and its hard not to think negative. Im so sorry for your phone :( It makes me think my phone can easily brake and Ill lose all my photos (like a year worth) and all the information. Yikes! I probably need to back it up somewhere and save that information.
    And I know how math can be so confusing. But as long as you can sort of get the hang of it it feels better ;)
    Olivia

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    1. Thank you :)
      Ohhh i highly recommend you back up all your information and photos!! I have lost alot of photos over the years as my phone has broken or something... the worst thing about a phone breaking/being stolen is all the content inside it... because i mean i can still call people if i get another mobile and can still stay incontact via the computer, but its all the pictures and memories if you havent backed them up!

      Im actually good at math, so its frustrating when its something i understand but still do wrong? (guess i dont udnerstand then, !!!)

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