Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Recovery without treatment?

Do you think you would've somehow recovered had you not gone to man do or had the support from your family and especially your mum? I sometimes feel like some people have better resources for helping them recover from EDs. They have the medical care available to them and the support needed to give that extra push. I agree recovery is your own choice and your own responsibility, but sometimes to get to that point one needs a certain extent of support and to be forced to get help.

Well, life is unfair at times and some people do have better resources than others I think this is very fair when it comes to health care (or any thing really) but its not a persons fault that they get sick and they should get the treatment they need.
   Though, its not like treatment automatically works. It helps, thats true... but the hard work has to come from YOU.
  I spent 2 months in a psychiatric hospital, 2 weeks with tube feeding... none of that helped I then spent almost a year at Mando going back and forth from day patient to inpatient... none of it helped. Didnt matter if i was there ffrom 8-4pm or there the whole day. i still cheated with food, i still secretly exercised, i still had lots of anxiety, i still didnt face my fear foods.... all that Mando helped me for during that period was to keep me alive. Because if i had been at home i wouldnt have eaten and i would have spent the majority of my time exercising. So if i hadnt been an inpatient then i dont think i would have been alive today.
     It wasnt until i hit rock bottom and realised i didnt want to be sick anymore... i didnt want to be in hospital. So in that sense Mando was helpful as it helped me to want to get out of there. But once i decided to recover i just wanted to be at home, i didnt want to be at Mando. 
 Mando was helpful as it did make me eat, made me eat things i didnt want to and made made me eat when i had so much anxiety i was almost shaking. If i had been at home, there was no way i would have eaten. It was alsop helpful to have a meal plan designed just for me and my needs,

It is hard to say whether i would have recovered without Mando or not. Because i did need treatment.... i did have to be an inpatient. However when i relapsed i did get all the strong ED thoughts again, but i did take myself out of that on my own... but at that time i had the extra problem of binging as well as restricting and purging and i still self harmed, felt depressed at that time. So it wasnt easy, but i got myself out of that WITHOUT any support at that time. My mum was unaware of my relapse and i didnt want to talk to her about it.

Whether someone needs treatment or not is individual. Some people need therapy, others need day patient care others need inpatient care. Though i do think that treatment works.... even if the only way it works is that it makes you recover so that you never have to go back there again, its a motivation. But in the end, to fully recover YOU have to want to recover FOR YOURSELF.

Having motivation and support are also important factors of recovery. Someone you can talk to. Someone who can be there when its tough. 
But if you dont have support and you are doing this on your own.... then 1) ask yourself is there no support becase you have pushed everyone away/not talking to anyone, or is it because there generally isnt anyone? And is there anything you can do about that?

Treatment isnt always available for people, but you CAN STILL recover on your own. It is possible. Treatment doesnt always work, trust me... people can spend years in treatment and it still doesnt work.
  I had to move country because the treatment i first got didnt help..... So its about a motivation and will to recover. 

1 comment:

  1. Izzy, I have never commented on your blog, but I first came across it when I myself was in the grips of an eating disorder. That was a few years back. Recently I stumbled upon it again and I cannot explain the sense of joy and even proudness I felt when I saw that you're recovered and looking so good! I know this is weird from a stranger and all, but when I used to read your blog it made me feel as though I knew you as a friend. So I just want to say simply a huge well done to you, and keep it up! x