Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, December 12, 2014

Is fitness really healthy? - my thoughts

Something which i think is very important is to make the distinction and clarification between health and fitness.

*Warning for long post*

Because fitness isnt always healthy... but many people dont understand that. They look at athletes and think they are amazing - and yes, they are amazing in what they are capable of doing. But people also forget what they put their body through... the hours and hours of training, often not enough food, many athletes do also develop anorexia athletica or orthorexia where they become very obsessed with exercise and/or a certain form of eating (so called clean eating).
People can look at models in the magazines or people competing in competitions etc and think their body looks amazing. Have there body as their inspiration and their goal body. But forgetting that those who compete have to go on starvation diets - almost and do alot of exercise to reach that weight and look the way they do... which they only really look like that for a few days, but after that they regain the weight as its very hard for the body to be at such a low body fat procent. And lets not forget that the models in the Victoria Secret fashion show - those models who are often seen as the number one goal body, lets remember that they are the few out of millions who look like that, but also the way they look in the fashion show is not how they look everyday. And models in magazines are photoshopped to look a certain way... to make them look better than they actually look in real life. All to make you, looking at the picture dislike yourself that bit more and want to buy the product they are selling, all in the hopes of looking like the person in the magazine. Yes, its the same for mens magazines.... its advertisment, dont forget that.

But back to the actual topic... fitness and health. In the recent years there has been a huge fitness trend and bubble. Fitness blogs everywhere, fitness IGs everywhere.... everyone has to workout, use protein powder, walk around with a shaker in their hand... and God forbid if they eat a bun during the weekday.
   Its all.... #eatclean #fitspo, salad, egg whites, protein powder, banana and egg pancakes, squats, squats, sqauts and lots not forget the cheat day - where the person eats everything in sight no matter whether they want it or not, but because its their cheat day.

To me, this has always seemed unhealthy and strange. Ive never really understood it. Instead, ive followed my own journey, learnt from my own mistakes, learnt what works for me and my body, not copying anyone else. But it feels like many people just follow a few of those inspirational accounts. Do the exact same workouts, eat little and hope to look like the person behind the account. But thats not how it works.

But also.... weighing your food, counting calories, counting macros, having cheat days.... none of that seems healthy to me. I mean, some people might need to count calories to lose the weight they need, but often healthy people or people who just want to exercise, maybe lose a few kilo etc its not needed. And i think cheat days are a bit too similar to binges... eating just because, not because you want the food.

Its all too controlling and instead of helping people i feel the fitness world... or what i call the fitness trap makes people feel worse about themselves. They check their social media feed and are bombarded with pictures of other people... flexing, showing abs, showing their super healthy meals etc.. And the person looking at all these pictures just feels bad about themselves. Thinks they arent good enough, they will never change, never look like that inspirational person they look up to etc

I know i can be called as a part of the whole fitness world... in some form anyway. But i am very honest... i am honest with the fact that i eat chocolate VERY often, alot more often than i post. I eat all types of food, i eat large portions but i also workout. Do i workout obsessievly... no i dont. Not even my family would say i do - and they know when and how often i workout.
  I am also honest about the fact that the pictures of me with a flat stomach... thats me like 2% of the time. I swear, i am bloated like 98% of the time... haha ;) or it feels like it anyway. Im just a human, and i like to show both sides.... there can be those great photos with the great lighting, but i also like to spend the day in bed and just eat bread ;)

In my opinion i dont think the fitness world is healthy. I believe that it just gives people - especially those struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating a reason to seem healthy but they arent really. Because well, according to the fitness world weighing your food, counting macros, not eating certain food, working out 14 times per week etc... thats all ok. Tell people you are doing that and suddenly you are so motivated and dedicated. But in actuality you have so much anxiety, fear and panic over missing a workout or eating a potatoe that you have to run away your guilt and eat out of lunch boxes to avoid the anxiety.

I dont think the fitness trend is healthy at all.... fitness focuses too much on your appearance. Your weight, how far you can run or how mcuh you can squat. It doesnt really care so much whats going on in your head, whetgher your physical is actually healthy or not... all it cares about is your performance and asthetic.

But health is physical, mental and even spiritual health. To be balanced and happy.

I have had periods where i have felt bad about myself because i have followed accounts where they have counted macros, had their perfect put together meals and their great body. They seemed so disciplined with their meal prep and lunch boxes, their saying no to the cake offered at work and their morning walks at 5am everyday. Ive thought to myself... well why dont i do that? Why dont i meal prep, get up at 4am everyday or say no to a biscuit when offered.

But then i realise, THATS NOT WHAT I WANT, AND NEITHER IS THAT HEALTHY FOR ME. I  would never begin counting calories or macros, that would lead to obsessive behaviour to me, but also i dont want to see food in numbers and think in restrictive thoughts. I want to eat and enjoy it. Eat a biscuit if its offered and not feel guilty. I want to listen to my body and go for a walk or run if thats what i want, or go to the gym or not workout at all... just listen to my body. Not just force myself to do soemthing because everyone else.
The way i live my life is perfect for me and its balanced for me. I eat balanced and enjoy everything i eat. I workout and enjoy it. I am healthy mentally, physically and spiritually. I am HEALTHY, not fitness... and thats not what i want to be either.

I think its important to move away from fitness and also move away from the things that negatively affect you. Instead focus on health, both inner and outer health. Stop caring what others are doing, or how others look. Instead find balance for YOU. Find HEALTH FOR YOU.


  1. Amen! Could not agree more! Great post izzy :)

  2. Replies
    1. :):) I felt i had to write about it and vent ;)

  3. You post pictures showing off your body/workout all the time, you do the exact same things. You do not know these people outside of their IG, just like you say about yourself. What they post is 2% of their life. Don't be so judgemental when every other picture of yours you try to pose to appear the skinniest or leanest possible. That's hypocritical as hell. And bragging about how much chocolate etc. you eat isn't exactly healthy either. It's like you're trying way too hard to prove you're 'totally healthy'. Just my 2 cents, you will probably call me a hater but I honestly don't care, it's just something I observed.

    1. I am fully aware of the fact that all i see is a few photos and im not judging the people... im merely saying that fitness is not the same as health. You can have your opinion and if you dont like my IG, im not forcing anyone to follow me... and appear ''leanest'? I merely post how i look.... and im sorry if you dont like that, but its my body. And once again, feel free to unfollow me then.

    2. I agree with this comment. sorry izzy but its true. I understand you can't see it right now but one day you will. You too are caught up in this fitness trend. Walking 5km and then training triceps and biceps? whats wrong with just doing a walk? Also posting when you eat chocolate and stuff saying its ok to eat its like you're trying so hard to show you're 'healthy'. it makes me sad you can't see this.

    3. Feel free to unfollow me on IG.

    4. I'm the original commenter. Izzy, it is true. Appear leanest, yes. I am aware your body is as lean as it is and I don't say it's a bad thing but a lot of the time you pose in specific ways to appear thinner/fitter. I'm not going to unfollow you, because I don't dislike you or your posts. I wouldn't be here if I did. But it is merely food for thought. You are, as anonymous 2. said, very caught up in the 'fit' trend. It's not healthy at all. You do the same as all these accounts you talk about. No need to get defensive and tell us to unfollow. Your content is public and it's normal for people to make an observation. If you are unable to think about it and consider that you may in fact have a problem here, I think that shows you are not fully healthy. If you were, you wouldn't get tell us to leave merely for pointing the facts out.

    5. Not to mention you keep stating how much you loooove to eat. And how your day revolves around food and workouts.

    6. It is true that we are free to unfollow you or you are free to share whatever you want. But you are publishing your life in internet and in a public blog, and for this reason you have to accept every kind of comments. Everytime that someone comment on your post not saying that you are amazing and super inspiring you always think that we are criticizing you! But the truth is that, it is true that your blog is all about fitness, food, and healthy life style. Balanced eating, balanced exercise and so. But the people who just follow this blog don't know that you exercise more than you write here. And that you take you way more photos of your body... I think that you are a little bit hypocrite on this front

    7. ^^^ Agreed 100%. You need to realize that not every comment will praise every breath you take. There is nothing wrong with people raising a legitimate concern. Have some humility.

    8. The reason I don't post everything on here is because I know it can be triggering for someone in recovery. And i have no obligation to post everything I do or say. I want to share my workouts and such on IG, that's why I post it there and not here.

      I'm not defensive, I just stated that if it bothers you you don't have to read/look at it. Of course you can have your opinion, but at the same time I'm not going to change just because some anonymous person tells me what I'm doing its wrong. I know my body and my mind and what I do suits me. And I know I'm not sick, you can't judge someone you don't even know.

    9. And yet you say that every 'fitness' account which does >>the same things as you<< is unhealthy and obsessive, how ironic.

  4. Thanks for this Izzy. Well said and so so true. You are healthy and we can see that. Thanks for reminding us that the fitness image is just that: AN IMAGE! Fitness is different for everyone, as is health. :) Your blog is balanced and open and honest and anyone who reads it regularly would see that. You are doing great. Love, Anna xx

  5. I love you. You are so amazing and a role model!
    My anorexia and orthorexia was slowly killing me and now I've been in recovery for 5 months and overshot my pre ed weight big time. And it's hard to manage in a world who deems me as "unhealthy" just by looking at me. But in my heart I know I'm on the road to health because my my body has finally the time and energy to heal!

    1. Thank you! And good luck, focus on your journey!

  6. If you are so healthy and recovered, why do you use artificially calorie-free sauces when you can use the real thing? ;)

  7. I believe that being healthy or recovered is being able to make choices that are right for us as individuals. Some people's lifestyle choice is to exercise lots whilst other peoples is to not exercise so much. Likewise, people choose what they eat or don't eat depending on what is right for them as individuals. Part of being healthy is acceptance. We shouldn't get upset at people who exercise more than we do, or eat differently to us. What people do in terms of exercise and diet is down to them and their circumstances! We should accept that we are all different and that people make decisions about their exercise/diet etc depending on their lifestyles and whats right for them!

  8. Hi Izzy:)

    After reading all of these comments, I think you should ignore half of them haha. You do what works for you and what you love to do! Eating chocolate is awesome, so yeah you should be excited when you eat it and be happy and post the deliciousness. Some of my friends do the same thing through snap chat and they've never had eating disorders. Working out makes some people feel amazing. You even say yourself that you take breaks when you need to. The walks, on the other hand, are something that you need to do. I mean you have a dog!! Dogs need exercise! Haha It also takes a lot of courage and feeling confident to post pictures of you bloating so its understandable that you try to look your best in most pictures but you also have posted ones with you bloated!! Personally I love the video of you being EXTREMELY bloated :p Whenever I get bloated (which is a lot!) I just think of that and think "relax, Its not permanent. Itll go away in time." I guess I just want to say Thank you for everything you post and do :) Even if other people disagree with what you say or post, who cares. Theres always going to be people who disagree, but those who need to hear what you say really appreciate it and you've really helped people by just being you:)

    I hope you have a great day:)

    1. Yes I completely agree with you Hannah :) I know I really need to hear a lot of what Izzy posts and it is so helpful. :)

  9. Woow this post is really really good and I think I needed this to realize it!

  10. Maybe some of you anonymous numptys should worry more about your own lives than someone else's. I wouldn't be where I am today in my recovery if it weren't for izzys blog.