Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Friday, December 12, 2014
How to deal with christmas - answer
I got an ask via email - and decided to publish my answer on here (but not the question for personal reasons and could be triggering)
The first thing i think you should ask yourself is why you cant eat the food? Its only you who is telling yourself that you cant eat the food or you cant allow yourself the food. But the truth is, you need to begin sometime. Sometime you need to eat more food, face your fears, eat more than you are doing now, eat fear foods etc so why not now?
Its only you who is saying that you cant eat the food that the others are eating. I know this isnt what you want to hear... but you have to decide that you can, want to and will do it. If you keep telling yourself no, i cant do it, i wont do it etc then you cant and wont do it.
But you need to realise that the anxiety you may feel before/during/after, that wont kill you, and the food wont harm you or make you fat or anything like. Food is energy which your body so desperately needs.... how many Christmases, days, weeks, months, years do you want to waste and struggle and throw your life away? Do you want this to be your last christmas because your body cant handle with the stress and starvation and abuse it is experiencing?
The best way to deal with christmas and food is to eat... of course, its not as simple as that, i do know that. But set up aplan. Tell yourself that you WILL eat christmas lunch/dinner with your family etc and you will ALSO eat your other meals ASWELLas your supplement drinks. What is the worst thing that will happen by eating your fear foods or eating with others or eating more than usual?
What is it that you are so scared of happening? And what is so scary about that? DO you want to live your life with this anxiety and fear forever? What will happen if you eat, if you eat more, eat your fear foods?
And remember, its ok to cry, to panic but you have to pick yourself back up and be strong and try again. To eat, no matter how aawful it may seem. No matter what your ED is telling you. Things wont get better if you dont eat or you compensate etc until you begin doing the opposite of what your ED wants and being stronger than your ED, it wont get better.
Think, this Christmas could be the starting point of your actual recovery.... think how Christmas next year could be? You could be fully healthy, have a smile on your face, look forward to the Christmas lunch, the after lunch chocolate, the family time and delicious food that this season entails.
I know its tough, but compensating with the voice in your head isnt the answer.... telling yourself that you will only eat little during christmas lunch and nothing else, just to make the anxiety a little less, thats not how it works. Infact, as i like to see it... if you are getting anxiety you are doing soemthing right because you are doing the opposite of what your ED wants. And the anxiety wont kill you.... you just need a good coping mechanism. A mantra/motto, coping and calming skill you can use.
Decide that you WILL eat. That you will try your hardest, no matter how hard it may be. Decide that you will do it, you will fight.