Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Extreme hunger combined with tiredness

Today has been a really weird day.... or there is some really weird friend/group dynamics in my group of friends right now... making me feel so split, not sure who to be with. Feeling like some people are more fake friends than actual friends... all very messy and not something i want to think about. But it feels really weird in school and with the weird dynamics. :/ Though i think its more that everyone is so tired at this point and everyone has all these other things in their life... so its not so much the innocent 'oh my gosh i have 2 essays due in 3 weeks time' now its more like oh my gosh i have 4 tests, 2 presentations, homework & not to mention family and relationship problems as well as hobbies...  Growing up is hard.

Onto other matters though i have been extremely hungry today!!! This is most probably due to the fact that i slept very restlessly last night as well as my run this morning.... here is pretty much what ive eaten since i came home:

1 bowl with rice pudding & nuts. And one bowl with quark & nuts and seeds (couldnt decide which to have so i had both in seperate bowls!) & some chocolate.

Then i was feeling hungry again so ate some nuts and an orange.

Then a short while later like 5 crisp bread with a tin of mackerel. (And then that kept me full for a while).

Until i was hungry for dinner and had chicken, vegetables and noodles.... followed by quark.

Now im completly full though and doubt i will eat more before i go to bed! Its always strange to feel so hungry, like no amount of food could fill me up and despite eating i just wanted more... even if i had waited 20-30 minutes.
    But the extreme hunger is often due to something so i always listen to my body and eat. I know the difference between a binge and lack of control compared to extreme hunger and this constant hunger!

Its important to not feel guilty on the days you eat more because you are more hungry, you shouldnt ever feel guilty for eating, but if you eat more, thats no reason to feel guilty either. Your body needs it, and even if you do binge, then its just to learn from your mistakes and try to find a way to cope with the binges.

Now however my stomach looks like a ball #Heytherefoodbaby :) And i am extremely tired and not looking forward to tomorrow... both a test and presentation as well as its supposed to snow tomorrow -_- So im thinking its best i go to sleep so that i wont be so tired tomorrow!

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