Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, December 1, 2014

Exhausted and moving in

To anyone who has ever moved apartment im sure you know how exhausting it is... There is alot of mental and physical work to be done... its all new and different. You dont know where your things are, there are boxes and items everywhere. Theres make up packed with shoes and there are spoons in the bottom of a big box or pillows and plates etc

After a long day in school i just wanted to come home and have the safety and comfort of home. The normal - but that was not the case today. The moving of boxes and furniture had begun at 8am this morning.. though i had already left by that time. I thought that all the items and furniture would be in the house by the time i got there a little while after 4pm, but that was not the incase... in fact i had nothing in my room... my room was the last one to be filled with furniture. So my wish of coming home and just lying down wasnt the case... there were people coming up and down the stairs, boxes being moved too and fro and i just felt it was too much. It doesnt help that im on anti biotics so i have mood swings just as it is. So i had a break down... everything felt different, unusual.... i already feel better now, when im sitting in my bed with a night snack. But right at that moment, i felt how panic was rising in me.... just wanting to go back to the past. Not move... but now i know everything is ok :)

Anyway, my sister and I, both hungry and tired after school headed to the shop to buy food but when we came back i had to begin helping bring furniture into my room and then i had to find my duvet and pillow etc and then when i finally could eat... we had no spoons, bowls etc so it was just to wait until those could be found in one of the many boxes. And eventually, more than 5 hours since i had last eaten i could finally eat a snack. My bowl of quark with granola & mini chocolate rice cakes and a celsius... followed by MANY more handfuls of granola... Half the package was eaten. Thats what happens when it goes so long between meal times... its like you just want to eat everything once you do eat.
  A few hours later after moving and carrying boxes and sorting my room somewhat im now finally in bed and able to eat some food again and to rest.
  Totally exhausted both mentally and physically.... so no idea what i will do tomorrow. I want to go to school but at the same time i just feel like saying Fuck it all at the moment!! hahaah XD

This was how i felt...

^^Our living room

^^This X2 was eaten :)

I am so sorry i havent answered comments the past few days - i just havent had the time. So i will try once i get a chance, i promise!


  1. Your food always looks amazing! I don't now how I'm gonna feel when I move to university next year :/ exciting but scary times, just remember in a year from now you'll be so used to this appartment, it just takes time to adjust :)

    1. Hahah thank you :) And exactly, it just takes time to adjust!! Its always scary and different at first - of course!

  2. Im sorry you feel like this. I completely understand since I just moved. Its hard and often full of anxiety (at least in these cases) At first it felt so weird and uncomfortable. I felt like everything was dirty. But about a month later I started feeling more comfortable. And hey at least you have all your stuff and furniture! (if i got that right?) I just have a mattress and built in closet. And the living room has no furniture at all. And 80% of my stuff I don't know where it is exact but definitely very far away:( But thats ok. Its just to appreciate what you have and look on the bright side :) At least now I have my own room. yassss!! a haha!! Its hard now but just know it will get better and before you know it you'll feel truly at home ;)

    1. Thank you and you are very right! We did an apartment chage so we got all our furniture :)
      Its good to hear you are looking on the positive side, even if things were tough!

  3. Izzy, hang in there! This moving is hard business-mentally and physically. You are so wise, strong, and have such a positive outlook. Keep on nourishing yourself with all that good food you choose. Sending you lots and lots of positive vibes!!

  4. Izzy, you poor thing! Like you say, it will get better, but it's not easy! I just have a completely self involved question that I would really like/need some advice on, as I'm in a major panic. I have recently (in the past 3 weeks) increased my calorie intake by quite a bit, and at first, I put on 4 pounds, which I expected and was handling after everything I know about rapid weight gain, water retention etc. but in the last two weeks, on the day that I weigh myself (only to monitor my progress), the scale has settled at two pounds less than the four pound weight gain (so two pounds higher than when I increased, but two pounds lower from the first week). I have not been compromising, or decreasing my calorie intake, and I know that this can happen due to water retention settling down and fluctuations etc, but I can't help feeling so different in my body, and it makes me wonder, can two pounds really make you feel so different? My scales are quite old, and they have been bashed around a lot recently with moving etc, and I can't help but feel they are broken, and my weight is going up still? I'm scared xxxxxx

    1. With the 2 pounds, it really isnt noticable at all... that is what a person naturally goes up and down under a day from food/water/hormones etc so its not like you should notice the weight gain/loss.
      Its great that you have increased and are trying to gain weight, so keep doing that. If weighing yourself gives you too much anxiety then just do it once every 2 weeks or so, that will give your body time to adjust instead of weighing yourself too often when you dont know whether the weight gain/loss is actual weight or its just from hormones or food or drink.
      Also with your scales, if they have been bashed around often it means that they might not be working properly.Keep eating your increase and if you dont gain weight then increase even more as that is usually necessary in recovery anywayy. And know that your body does change over time, so you do have to be ready for that. But the change is good!

    2. Thank you so much Izzy xx