Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Celebrating Christmas when people know you have an eating disorder
Can I ask how much your stepdad and his family know about your past? i mean; how close are you and was he a part of your recovery ? i found it difficult to celebrate Christmas as there will be people who don't "official" know of my ed /:
My step dad knows all about my history, he met my mum when i was at Mando though i didnt officially get to meet him until i was sort of getting better, though i was far from healthy and still had alot of problems and had some OCD and control issues. So my step dad has some funny stories of things i did when i was sick but also some days because i had so much anxiety i was very angry and irritable so he has experienced the bitchy and anxiety filled side of me, the depressed side of me as well as the happy side of me. Infact on my birthday my mum, sister and step dad all decided to tell a story about me and my step dad talked about how he has seen a complete differnce in me and how i have changed so much. He said that when he first met me (sometime 2012, cant remember when) i was such asmall shy girl. There was a wall between me and everyone else and i would disappear and hide away. I looked tired and sad and he could see i wasnt healthy and didnt feel good. But fast forward 2 years and now i am a complete different person. The smile on my face isnt fake, i am happy, i look happy and look healthy. And he said that one of his best memories is when we ran the midnight run together in August..... And also he loves when we workout together! Though he doesnt have so much time for it now a days but he said he really loved it when we do. (So all of this was kind of nice to hear).
As far as i am aware his mum and step dad dont know i had an eating disorder. I cant remember when i first met them but i was fully healthy when i met them for the first time so it wasnt anything strange. I am treated as anyone else now, not judged by my past from my family. If anything they tell me to save room for dessert or they comment about the amount of food i eat! haha (though this can get annoying)
But onto if your family know you are struggling with an eating disorder. It can be very hard as there is either someone who watches you like a hawk and makes it obvious they are watching you, or its someone who secretly watches you and you can feel their glare in your back or its someone who completely trusts you and tells everyone to stop watching you or there is someone who acts like a therapist and sits you down and tries to talk some sense into you but you have already heard it 10 times before.
Whatever type of family you have it can be hard. But know that those who watch you are just watching you because they are worried and they want to make sure that you are doing right. They want to make sure that you eat and even if this can feel annoying, its because they care.
You can however talk to the person if its very annoying or talk to your parents to maybe tell everyone who is coming or who you are going to, to not act weird around you or not stare or make comments about food or appearance. Stick to your meal plan, but dont be afraid to take some Christmas candy or a shot of Baileys or something or other if you feel you want it. Try to not care about the looks you get or the comments you might receive. Instead focus on following your meal plan, and your plan towards recovery. Take some time for yourself to just sit and breathe if it gets too much. Having a good coping mechanism is important as well - as always. And focus on being a normal and healthy YOU. The real you, not the person with an eating disorder.
I dont know how helpful this post is... its written in a sort of super speed before Christmas lunch!!! If anyone else has any tips of advice to add to this, PLEASE comment. Because i am sure i have forgotten 10 things i was thinking about adding or writing about. But also i dont have time to read or edit this post :)
Also if you look at my recent posts there is one with helpful posts/links on how to cope with Christmas!!