Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, December 6, 2014

Anxiety while food shopping

Food shopping can be something very anxiety provoking for many. And some people can spend hours circling around in the shop unable to decide what it is they want to buy, or they leave epty handed due to the indecision and anxiety and some people break down while in the store. I have done all 3 things numerous times, so i know how it feels.

However it has been such a long time since i last felt anxiety over food shopping - i now love it and trying all the new products and such, but i will try my best to give some advice about this topic.

The first thing which can be anxiety provoking is the fat/sugar/carb content of food... going from low fat yoghurt to fullf at yoghurt or skim milk to full fat milk etc... it can be tough. But the fact is, the difference in fat procent/more carbs/more sugar etc wont harm you or change your body. Being scared of 2% yoghurt is not a healthy thing or being scared of a normal milk.
   Think of all the products out there which you could be eating... like maybe you avoid salmon and just eat cod or you dont eat cheese even though you used to/still do like it etc etc

The best thing is to just decide what it is you are going to buy. Write it down on a piece of paper and DECIDE you are going to buy strawberry yoghurt instead of plain or you are going to buy frozen vegetables instead of lettuce leaves etc Though sometimes you need that extra motivation to actually buy it and thats why it can be good to have a friend or family member with you who will put that item into the basket whether you want it or not.

A good rule can also be to not spend more than MAX 30 seconds looking at the different products. It can be overwhelming to see 15 types of spread and you might want to grab the low fat, low sugar, no carbs etc product, but instead go for a new one. DONT take your usual ones. Try something new....
  And even if you have a list of what you should buy, if you see something which interests you like maybe cinnamon crisp bread or chocolate mousse or a new ice cream flavour - Buy it.
  If you suffer from binge eating or bulimia, then its best however to maybe avoid buying your trigger and binge foods. To try new foods and not just go for your same old foods which you end up binging on.
  For me, i had to tell my mum to not buy the foods i binged on while i was trying to stop the binging.

Have a quote, mantra, motto etc that you can say or read when you feel yourself panicking. Tell yourself everything will be ok... that what you need to begin with is to atleast buy the food and bring it home. The next step is to eat it, but now focus on buying the product and knowing its going to be ok.

Also know that NOBODY is judging you in the shop. When i was sick what i struggled with the most was that i thought everyone would look at me and judge me as i carried a chocolate bar to pay for it... that was what was worst and what stopped me from buying anything i actually wanted in the shop. It took alot of courage for me the first time i went to the store and bought chocolate for myself because i wanted it... it felt so wrong. But i did it and when i ate it, it felt ok. Even if anxiety was there because i thought suddenly everyone in the shop knew i was eating chocolate.
  But now i can go to the store and fill it with crisps, chocolate, soda, ice cream etc and not care what others think... maybe im going to eat it all? Maybe im not... maybe im buying for my family, maybe im having a party. Who knows and who cares.
  So if you also struggle with this, thinking that people are judging you. Know that they arent... and if it helps, most food shops have a self service/pay system which you can go to. So you dont have to feel like someone is just staring at all the items you have,
  But remember im sure the food you buy is all balanced and normal food anyway and even if you are buy 3 ice cream tubs and chocolate etc (however if you do struggle with binge eating, i do advise against doing this!)

If you cant get a friend or family memeber with you, then have someone you can call if it gets tough and you just want to leave.

My best tip however is to just go into the shop, spend no longer than 30 seconds choosing a product. Put it in your basket and quickly get through the shop and back home again. Try to not spend too much time there just wondering around because its then that the voice will catch up toyou and tell you to put the product back etc

And when you come home - make sure to EAT the products you buy. You have bought them for a reason!!

However, personally i think its best that if you can, let others do the food shopping for you. I know this is scary and its tough not knowing what will be bought but sometimes its even worse to actually be in the shop. But do what feels best for you because ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, you will have to overcome your fears. Whether you do it now or in 3 years time, thats up to you.... but isnt it better to begin facing the fears now and realising that different food products wont harm you.

I know this may not be the best advice, but hopefully it helps a little. Just take one step at a time and the first one is to buy the product.

1 comment:

  1. Its hard to give advice on this topic because theres not much else you can do than just buy the products but I think you gave very good advice :)
    I remember sometimes when I went food shopping I knew exactly what I was going to buy and if the store didn't have what I needed it meant my day got worse. I would buy the same things and hated variation during restricting. But when it came to when I restricted for a while, then binged, then ate 'normally' for a few days and then restrict again I would hide the foods I planned on eating later when I was 'allowed to eat'. I remember getting very upset if someone ate some food I was planning to eat. And my closet filled with foods that I wouldn't let myself eat only until a few days when I had planned to eat or food I was going to throw away. It makes me realise what a bad place that was and how horrible it is to have and ED and that I am so sorry other people have gone/are going through this. Please remember that recovery is SO worth it!!