Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Video: How to cope with dieters and to focus on your own goals

Sooo.... i decided to make a video!! I dont know why... but now ive made it so i thought, why not post it. Even if  i barely say anything useful, hahah :)

Though maybe more videos will come in the new year, or maybe not!!

Anyway, i hope you enjoy it :)

Late lunch

You might have noticed that there havent been as many food pictures on my blog at the moment? Thats because ive heard that apparently it can trigger some of my readers as you compare your intake and food with me.... and i understand that, but at the same time you have to remember that the photos i post are the ones that look good and i only post my food when it looks good. But also one picture of my breakfast or lunch doesnt tell the whole story. Who knows if i ate more afterwards, or what i have eaten for the rest of the whole day! So one picture or 3 pictures of my meals from a day doesnt say the whole thing ;) This goes for other food pictures you see online.
  Ive been called a hypocrite before because i wrote a post about the tiny portions you see people post online and saying that it didnt seem healthy. But of course, i cant know what that person eats for the rest of the day. If anyone, i should know what it feels like to be judged for a meal i post online, hahah XD

Anyway, i decided today i wanted to show you my delicious late lunch because it just looked - AND tasted so amazing!! My new food addiction is fried eggs, its soo good :) Though im not a fan of a runny yolk.

(P.s im aware that its a protein bomb... and my kidneys will hate me for it!!! XD) 

For the rest of the day im going to try to organize this evening, as none of my friends seem to be interested in doing that... haha, its still in the unknown and unless someone takes a leading role we will all end up sitting at home during the strike of midnight (which is nothing wrong, ive done that for the past 2 years or so!!!!). And trying to find something to wear :)
And if i have time i will try to answer some emails..... :)

Have a great day and a lovely evening and new year!!!

Getting positive feedback

Hello :)
  Final day of this year.... this morning when i was scrolling through my social media it was like a blast of '2015' and all of these quotes and pictures reminding you that today is the last day of 2014. And im pretty sure we are all aware of that fact by now... i have repeated it a few times myself.
   So instead i am going to write about something else.... and if you want to know my goals for the new year, you can scroll down :) And my plans for this evening are to be with friends and watch the fireworks :)  But first i need to find something to wear.... yup, that realisation when you wake up and realise you havent bought anything to wear and that all of your fancy clothes are too small XD  So i'll see what i do!!!

However, the actual topic of this post was to talk about positive feedback - from all of you. I get so many emails each day where its alot of negativity, hearing about peoples struggles and what they are going through. And i understnad, you want to share what you have been through and you want advice. But at times, i get an email with some positivity. Someone writing about their successes, even if its just telling me that they went for lunch and that they ordered what they wanted. Or they went to a sleepover and didnt compensate or even emailing me again after several months and telling me that they are healthy and recovered. And those types of emails - or comments - always make me so happy. Its like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day(or a rainstorm... depending on how many emails an how much negativity there is!)

I know that if you read my blog, you are most probably struggling and suffering - though not everyone. Though as this is an advice blog with posts to help you recover then you most probably arent recovered, because what would you be doing on my blog then? But i am sure that there have been times where you have progressed and overcome a fear and even if it may not feel good to you. Because there were plenty of times when i was told i was great for eating an ice cream but i just wanted to break down and cry, but actually hearing that you did a good job. That you should be proud of yourself and be happy over your success, that can change your mindset. So even if you may not feel great about it, you can still email - or comment (because YOUR successes will inspire others, i promise you!) - and let me (and/or others) know your success and progress :)

But it can also be nice to tell someone your progress which might seem silly to others, but isnt when you are struggling with an eating disorder. Such as you ate a bowl of full fat yoghurt or you used oil when cooking or even managed to stick to your meal plan or to not binge!

I was also thinking, should i start with the 3 positive things of the day? Or another positive challenge for the new year? I seemed to get alot of good feedback about those!

Year in Review: Oct, Nov, Dec

And the last 3 months of this year!!! Ive gone through my year and looked at all the good things i have done, and it makes me long to summer! But also it makes me appreciate life even more, to see how much i have progress, all the things i have done and makes me think about all the things i can accomplish and do in the next year :) Many people dont actually think back over there year, but i think its a great thing to do!!


Filled with deadlines, the summer slowly fading away.
Went to a houseparty, worked out with my sister, had a photoshoot with my step dad, my dad came to visit, my school had its house song competition. Dressed up for Halloween.
Did a very big and important test (sort of similar to SATs). I had my autumn break and went to a vegetarian buffet with my mum.

I went to the health fair, i baked saffron buns, i made brunch for the family,
I ran the tunnelrun, i celebrated my birthday and the whole month i was packing my things, ready to move on the 1st December. 

We moved into the new apartment, and took me a week to get settled in.
Had my last deadlines and tests for the term.
Had my school house supper, went out for drinks afterwards.
Went to a 'tea party' at my friends.
Got ym Christmas break.
Lots and lots of running this month (i love it!!!)
Celebrated Christmas and going to celebrate New Years this evening!

This year has been a great year, and i am excited for the new year and all the adventures it will bring!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Body dysmporhia

I saw this and thought it was super great and worth being shared.... something important to think about. The way you see yourself and feel might not be the truth.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder
“How can someone get that skinny and not realize it?” It’s a familiar question we receive whenever we visit schools or give presentations in the community. Many people find it hard to understand how severely an eating disorder can distort someone’s perception of their body. Often there is an element of depression, self-loathing, or feeling that one is not good enough, which is then directed at one’s body. In addition to these psychological difficulties, the physical effects of malnutrition also impact a person’s perception…“The essential feature of Body Dysmorphic Disorder…is a preoccupation with a defect in appearance (Criterion A). The defect is either imagined, or, if a slight physical anomaly is present, the individual’s concern is markedly excessive,” according to the DSM-IV TR. Those with BDD will often fixate on certain features, and the excessive concern they have causes distress and impairment of social functioning and functioning in other areas of their life.” - (x)

Food Diary

I thought i would do a food diary of todays intake as its been requested.... though i know for some it can be triggering, but i dont do them so often. So if you find them triggering you can just skip this post :)

**Remember that i dont count calories or macros. And what i eat is what i crave :)

1,5 portion egg white oatmeal topped with quark, raisins and mix of nuts & milk and 2 clementines and coffee.

Snack/post workout:
1,5 dl Protein powder

Quorn meatballs, quorn mince (from yesterday), salad, potatoe salad (i dont actually like potatoes but potatoe salad is delicious!)
   Dessert: Raisins

Quorn mince (from yesterday), cottage cheese & taco chips & 2 clementines. (Weirdest snack, but this is what i wanted!)

Snack 2:
Chocolate testing and 1,5 protein bar

Tuna burgers with rice and brocolli

Got a serious stomach ache after dinner, so i dont think i will be eating any more today.... though im sure some more chocolate will be eaten :) haha


Top tip: if you’re looking in the mirror at your stomach and feeling upset with how ‘fat’ you’ve gotten over the holiday period… look at your legs. Look at your arms. Are they any bigger? No. You haven’t gotten ‘fat’ over the Christmas week (or month), you’re just bloating out. Bloating disappears in a matter of days. Stay calm and dont panic.

My goals and dreams in 2015

In less than 48 hours its a New Year!! And that means 365 new oppertunities and chances. Ive always liked new years.... its like a new chapter, a new beginning even though in actuality, its just a new day!! But for me personally, New Years feels like stepping into something new and closing the door on all the negative things of the past year.
  This year has been really good though :) Ive been looking through my pictures and remembering everything ive done... i dont have photos from 'bad times', so its not like i really remember them. But i have lost contact with friends, my group of friends in school is sort of splitting up, there have been other personal and family issues etc so it hasnt just been a year of running and fun XD But i'm going to leave that behind me!

So... what are my goals for 2015?

  • To graduate high school with good grades
  • To run a half marathon
  • To be able to do a handstand and headstand without any support
  • Begin university (or studying basic courses which i need to know for the university course i want to study)
  • Keep getting stronger, faster, more flexible and of course happier!!
  • Travel to the U.S
  • Hopefully not be single the whole year... haha XD

These are just some of my goals, though im sure i have more!! 2015 is going to be an exciting year because it will be a new start, a new chapter in my life. Think... to those of you who have followed me since like 2010 or 2012...  Now suddenly i will begin University (if not in the autumn, then in spring!). I will hopefully start working and hopefully find my own apartment.... It feels so strange. Its scary but at the same time exciting,,,, Growing up is something i have always found very scary and i have all my life said i would rather die than be X years old,. infact, i didnt think i would even live until the age of 16... but look at me now. Older, wiser and more alive than ever!!
    It can feel impossible right now and maybe it is because you dont actually want to recover. But when you want to recover, then you can. Though its not easy... im never going to say recovery is easy, because it isnt, though it DOES get easier. Remember that!!

Anyway, onto 2015..... its a new chapter with new events in my life. New things happening... i remember when i didnt even know what University was and the thought of ever going to university was the same as going to Mars... it wasnt going to happen, it was so far off. I thought that by 2015 there would be flying cars and everything would be super organic and we'd all be saving the planet and have techonology all around all the time... which in fact is true, just not how i thought it would be!!
   I dont like talking politics, religion, money or any of that on my blog as opinions are so strong but i personally feel that 2014 has been a bit of a step backwards regarding those aspects, so hopefully things will change in 2015 so that the world can start moving forward and not repeating past mistakes.

Soooo... what are YOUR goals and dreams for 2015?
How did you think 2015 would be/look like? :)

Years Resume 2014: July, Aug, Sep


July was a very exciting month where alot of things happened!!
Went strawberry picking twice, sprained my ankle, ate delicious food, travelled out to the country where we had hired a cottage for a week, celebrated my step dads 50th birthday,
Made Questbar puffs for the first time. And on the last day i worked at a music festival for 10 hours!!

 ^^What a lovely picture, hahahah XD

August... the month that school starts again and its the end of summer, so need to do as much summer stuff as possible.
Time spent on the beach, in the forest, out running.
 Went on dates, went to a concert, Contined qorking at the music festival. Worked at another music festival. Went to another concert/festival. Ran the midnight run (a dream of mine since i was 12). Celebrated my 2 years declared healthy the same day!
Went to a spa, had a pizza and game night with my friends.
Began school again.


The month of stress, studying and deadlines...which has continued for the rest of the year.
Ran a cross country race with my school and came 3rd girl (5th total out of around 600 people) 
Fell in love with the new Marabou Biscuit chocolate!
First and last time being sick during this year(i.e a cold). Made brunch, made delicious oreo cookies, worked out with my step dad, went for runs, Got a package from the U.S, tried the new Ben and Jerrys ice cream.

Only 3 more months of the year left!!!