Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

So many thoughts

Going back to the first reason why i began blogging... to write out the thoughts in my head. And at the moment i have so many thoughts in my head and many of them are regarding my blog....

I feel stuck, not sure what to do. I am split into two sides regarding what i should do....

Part of me wants to expand my blog, make it bigger and better so that i can maybe start earning something for all the hardwork i put into my blog. But also to help more people. But then its the fact that would i even have time to help more people.... if even more people were to email me everyday i would just feel overwhelmed and i dont think i would possible have the time for it.

But then there is another part of me, who for the moment just wants to shut down my blog and stop. Ive been getting some critique and hate recently and i can usually brush it off and move on, but when im already having thoughts, the negativity and critique goes straight to me heart. But its also that all the negativity i read everyday can affect me unconsciously as well im guessing. I cant help everyone and when someone writes to me in a very negative manor and just basically tells me that they cant recover and they wont, then i just dont know what to do. How can i help a person like that?I can remind them that it can get better and that living a life with an eating disorder isnt living and that being the skinniest or very underweight wont bring you happiness. You have to realise that when you have an eating disorder, it is in the head. The thoughts that you are thinking arent YOU and they arent healthy either. But even with all the reminding and coaxing and tring to help, the work still has to come from YOU. But many might not realise that.... that i can only help, but i cant do the work for you. Yes its tough, yes its scary, yes it can cause anxiety. But your eating disorder takes away your life and slowly kills you.... so if thats how you want to live your life and eventually die due to your body giving up or you kill yourself, then thats what you choose. Nobody can force you to recover, not mentally anyway. So its up to you to make the decision that the  way you are living life isnt worth it.

I am feeling so conflicted and torn at the moment.... do i just stop blogging completely or do i try to expand it? I dont know.... i am 50/50 and cant decide.
  I have so many thoughts and feelings at the moment and i love my blog, its like my little project and something i am so extremely proud of. But sometimes it can become too much as well, especially when you know that there are so many people reading and so many people wanting answers and help but you know that you cant save everyone? Its like going to a doctor.... he/she can help you, give you advice, maybe give you pills... but its your body that has to recover. You can put a cast on a broken leg,but its the bones and body that have to do the actually recovering, the cast is just a help.


  1. Blogging should be entirely up to you and what matters most is whether you feel you can still enjoy it and keep going and it makes you happy. Helping others is a bonus and people who visit your blog should take what they can from it or stop reading it. If you feel too much stress from blogging or it affects you negatively in any way then that should be a reason to stop and remember that every where in life there will be hate from people and people who bring you down, all you can do is shrug it off because you know your worth and that you've given 100% with your advice and help, as you said, it's everyone's own responsibility to get better. X

  2. You've said before how this is your place to express your thoughts and it started out more as an online journal as opposed to a blog for other people. This blog is for you and if you help other people than consider it a bonus! And who cares if you help everyone!? NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO! But we appreciate that you do:) But as you always say, you need to do what's best for you and that's understandable. However, if you did stop blogging you would probably leave a lot of people really sad:( You've helped me tremendously and I will always be thankful for that:)....Speaking of thankful! Tomorrows Thanksgiving in the U.S. and tomorrow I will be thinking of how thankful I am for this blog(even if you stop blogging) It was about a year ago that my anorexia really began, around the holidays. And even though im not fully recovered and still get anxiety, tomorrow I will be going into Thanksgiving better off than last year. And its mostly thanks to you:) Regarding the mean comments, just think of them this way, either the people are too sick to see the good you are doing:) and they need to read your blog more!! :p or theyre just too cruel, and if that's the case, don't let them get you down. People like that are just terrible. Either way, don't let that stop you from doing what you love. You are AMAZING and have changed my life:) What ever you do though is up to you. And don't let yourself think that youre letting others down. Your old posts are still here and who knows, maybe it would motivate people to take control of their lives and do something. Anyways do whats best for you:) Happy Almost Thanksgiving from the U.S.!!

  3. Please dont shut it down
    this blog is my favourite one ever! never found any other that spoke to me like you do
    you inspire me daily and has helped me to move on in recovery many times when I needed it
    theres always gonna exist people that doesnt like your blog or that doesnt get what you are trying to pass of, as thers always gonna exist mean people in life, but ther's always gonna be people that love it, like I do. and that find this very important
    anyway, what ever you decide to do, i hope it makes you happy <3 luv u

  4. I love your blog, it is really helpful and cozy! But maybe you should just focus on the blogging and not answering emails. You are just a normal person who has a limited time every day. Even though I understand that you want to help, you can not be everyone's psychologist, no one can be that. It is not your responsibility girl!

    Maybe you can answer some comments sometimes - if you want to, but then just focus on the blogging - the thing you seems to enjoy. It is not all or nothing, you can have this blog and you do not have to take responsibility or answer all the things people send to you. We are a lot of people who enjoy reading your posts about you everyday-life and also enjoy reading your helpful posts about things. Do the things you enjoy and let go of the rest.
    We support and like you Izzy!

  5. In my opinion, you are a great blogger! You really are! But as the others have already said, you should do what is best for you. I suppose that blogging is extremely time-consuming, and coping with the negativity of some people (trying to be polite here, I had other names to give, but... Better stick with "people") is very hard and hurtful. So, I think that if the blog is not doing you well, yourself (please, forget for a moment of everyone else and focus on you) It is not wrong at all to quit. Your followers will understand and by choosing it, you are not putting down all the (beautiful and magical) "work" you had (when expressing all the complex feelings shared by many readers and giving them hope). I am sorry for my poor english, but I felt I needed to tell you how special you are. Kisses!

  6. I've just read through all these comments and I think we all have the same things in mind- your health and our love for you and your blog. Personally, I love your blog and it's your daily reminders coming through in posts that inspired me to recover. If it's becoming overwhelming maybe close your email account? But again, it's not for me to say or decide because your health comes first. If you aren't healthy, you can't help others- like you say. But I want to send you a message I got from a friend who is struggling and it was like the perfect words I couldnt always find to describe what you do for me. It says: I think when anxiety and stress goes up then we (our type) start falling back on body image and stuff in an effort to have some control. and you got better so well and I really don't want to see you digress, so even though it's hard you've just got to focus on what you said to me a few months ago. you said "sometimes I realize how much I've gained but then I remember how worth it is and how much better I feel" and you don't look like you've gained an ounce (coming from someone who obviously judges these things quite carefully) and you look gorgeous and just don't let it get bad again okay. please, you're my inspiration and I can't lose that either x

  7. Hi Izzy,
    I know that it must be so hard and overwhelming to have all these people asking you questions which are interlinked with so much negativity, and that you find yourself stressing the same things over and over, but not really knowing if you are helping them. However, you have helped me. You have helped me in my recovery so much, I can't even explain: you made me realise that I am only half recovered, and that being fully recovered is worth fighting for. Before reading this blog, I think that I would have just hung around in half recovery, maybe even forever, but your blog changed that. I'm really not trying to guilt trip you into carrying on, I just wanted to say that for every negative 'hater' or person that you don't think you help, you help others in ways you don't even know. Of course you must think about yourself first and foremost, as if it's negatively affecting you, then it's just not worth it. But I can say that you blog helped me so much and I don't know what I would have done without it xxx

  8. I've got the vibes that you should take it easier with some of your daily activities, and I'm also quite sure that out of them blogging and emailing are the least vital ones. When I first arrived at your blog I was stunned by the amount of posts you put up. I'd say it's not necessary at all to post every day or even week - let alone several times a day. Plus, if you decide to keep on blogging, I think the emailing should be restricted if it gives you an ease. There is always the option of anonymous commenting if people really want to get advice.

    Driving your own head to overload as an expense to being a public therapist is waste of yourself. If this blog is too much then so it is.

    Have strenght, whatever you decide then.

  9. Your only responsibility is for yourself. I know it can be exceptionally hard to read negative/hate comments and perhaps even harder to read about someone saying they can't/won't recover. But you are not responsible for them. All that matters for you is your health- mind and body. And doing what feels right for you, yes, YOU! If that means taking a break, figuring out what you want to do, making it bigger or continuing as you are, it is YOUR decision and should be based on what feels right for you. And maybe given all the other stresses in your life at the moment, now isn't the best time to make a decision about your blog? Sometimes when everything feels stressful, we can make decisions about the things we can make instantly and sometimes those decisions are more led by stress than by what you want. So maybe move house, let school settle and so on, and then decide? But mostly I just wanted to say you aren't responsible for others' recovery and it's lovely you Care and help so many but you don't have to hold responsibility for whether someone recovers or not. You can only do what is right for you. I hope this makes some sense. If not, disregard it all!!cxx

  10. Izzy, I have never commented on your blog, but I first came across it when I myself was in the grips of an eating disorder. That was a few years back. Recently I stumbled upon it again and I cannot explain the sense of joy and even proudness I felt when I saw that you're recovered and looking so good! I know this is weird from a stranger and all, but when I used to read your blog it made me feel as though I knew you as a friend. So I just want to say simply a huge well done to you, and keep it up! x