Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

School and studying

A short day in school today but lots of work has been done and it continued when i came home. I had wanted to sit in school and get the work done but as i finished so late and my school closes around the same time we finish so i couldnt sit in school afterwards. So i made a deal with myself, if i come home and began my studying right away - not opening any social media, not even my blog then i could spend the rest of the evening doing other non school related things and not feel guilty or end up sitting at8pm trying to get the work done.

So as soon as i got home i opened my documents, my books and papers, spread pens and papers out on my bed and sat there and worked. However while i was sitting and waiting for m 'egg cake' to turn into a 'cake/mould' in the microwave my stomach was rumbling and i was so hungry and i couldnt concentrate on my work. All i thought of was food and how if i didnt eat something within 30 seconds i would begin shovelling food into my mouth.
  Which then lead me to thinking... how did i even manage school and working without eating? One of the first of my ED behaviours was to not eat lunch in school and then i ate very little or nothing when i came home and for dinner and then soon i stopped eating breakfast as well... so basically only eating a small after school snack or a little dinner was what i survived on.... how in the world i managed to go to school (which i did for almost a year before i became too sick and had no energy anymore) without eating and still get As and Bs? I can barely go 3 hours without food without wanting to break down and cry because im so hungry and have such low blood sugar.
   But i guess the truth is that i lost my hunger and fullness feelings and there was something in my head so powerful making me not feel hungry and making me not eat. I wasnt in my right mind.... but i think its crazy sometimes the things which i did but also how i even managed?
  I mean if i dont eat a proper breakfast or enough food before my workouts i literally cant manage them... but before i would spend hours exercising with little food..... Its so strange how the body and mind can adapt. How the mind can force the body to do things even with no energy?

Anyway... ive now done 80% of my work and i thought i deserved a break and a little blog update.. so here is my outfit today, my afternoon snack & my work so far!!



^^My hair is so long i dont even know what to do with it anymore... but all i know is that i dont want to cut it!






2 comments:

  1. as beautiful as always izzy :) :)
    what you are studying looks really interesting!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you :) It is - though its mainly loads of repetition!

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