Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Monday, November 24, 2014

Online recovery accounts

Something which i am quite sceptic to is the online recovery account especially on Instagram or even Tumblr. You may laugh at this and think im just being hypocritical, because isnt my blog a recovery account. And yes, it is, my older posts anyway. But i never wrote on my blog trying to form a circle, bond or relationship with others who were struggling. If people who were struggling found my blog and wrote to me, i would write back. But its not that i was competing with anyone else with my blog.I didnt have to take pretty food pictures (that has just come this year as i feel its better to post a nice food picture on my blog than some blurry or awful looking one - just my opinion anyway). I wrote honestly how i felt because it was my way of expressing myself .- not trying to get attention or get loads of people to tell me i wasnt fat or that i was pretty etc etc
   So even if my blog is a recovery account in some ways i think its quite different to all the accounts you see now a days.

On Instagram there are hundreds and thousands - im guessing of recovering accounts and plenty more on Tumblr. The number of people with recovery accounts is quite scary, but also the amount of people claiming to be 'fit or healthy' but are still suffering with an eating disorder. The lower number of 'recovery accounts' the better, because with the accounts it means that there is a person behind them struggling, which is not a good thing,

So... what do i think of recovery accounts? Well there are different types.

There is the depressive, black and white, always posting their 'thinspo' pictures and claiming how fat they are, how guilty they feel for eating. In their bio they claim they are recovering but they still post their weight their and talk about how many hours they go without eating..... Not really sure where the recovery part of the whole account is?

Then there is the recovery vegan who posts delicious looking pictures of food... all looks  great and healthy, but the question is... are they vegan and spending so much time on their food because they want to? Or is it because their is a voice in their head telling them to do it? Im not saying the person behind these types of accounts arent recovering but sometimes it just looks too good to be true and it looks like everything takes a little more time than is necessary just to take one picture.

The exercise addict recoverer, if you use social media then im sure you have come across this type of recovery account some time. The person who exercises lots but claims that they dont. Often times this person is too thin but doesnt see it or want to admit it themselves. They are often in the half recovery phase as well... they might be able to eat, but its a certain type of food you see all the time. No variation. This type of account can often be the most triggering for people because you wonder why are they still so skinny but exercising so much? Why are they eating soo little? And then you begin to wonder about yourself, whether you should be exercising as well, or why you are in hospital but they arent.
   So i can tell you, if this type of accounts bothers you - Unfollow them!

The under eater recoverer, the person who is in recovery or trying to recover but their portions are miniscule.... 3 baby carrots and half an apple is an example of an afternoon snack. Or salad leaves and chicken for lunch or a little portion of soup..... You begin to question if they really are in recovery, or you question why you have to eat so much and they dont.  The under eater and over exerciser can often be the same account.

The actual recoverer: And then there is the actual recoverer - yup, there are some of those out there as well. These are the ones who write about facing their fear foods and how they are feeling better. They are often the ones who are most loving and supporting in that community and they are not using their account as a way to get attention or get 101 comments about how they are still so skinny or have the perfect body or have the perfect food. No, these accounts are actually recovery ones. They detail their ups and downs through real photos. Not perfect ones and not ones of their 2 hours workout sessions everyday or their tiny portions. These accounts are the most real ones.
   Though it can be hard to distinguish whats real and whats not... its easy for everyone to be fake online.

I dont think its a problem that you seek comfort and reasurrance through recovery accounts. Trying to find people who understand you, who can relate to you. That is part of being a human being.
  But you should also be kind to yourself and know if there is someone or some account triggering you, stop following them - that goes for my accounts as well. I dont want to be a trigger to anyone.
   Be wary of what you see everyday and if you want to start a recovery account, then seek for the honest and true ones. Dont follow people 'just because' they have 'recovery', 'recovering' or anything else like that in their name.

^^With all of the accounts though, i mean i dont know the people i cant judge them, but also how do i know eveyrything they post/feel/do... I DONT. Im a blogger and Instagrammer myself, so i know how it is to have people judge me for what i post. This i just my first few thoughts of when i see these types of accounts and what i think of them.


  1. Replies
    1. I dont post it on my blog.. but its a fitness IG,not a recovery one.

  2. Hi Izzy! You are so right about these.
    I actually recognize myself in one of these categories and I´m a bit ashamed of that :(
    I feel like now that I´ve had the IG account for 7 months that I have a need to post about my exercises otherwise they don´t count or something. This is just ridiculous. Or if I make some change or goal for my recovery I need to announce it somewhere and that somewhere has now become the social media.
    And infact I have made very little actual progress during these months. Any advice?

    1. The problems with IG and social media and recovery is that you can get stuck with it... Your identity becomes your ED even more and it becomes harder to let go because of social media.- You are known as the person who is sick and so making steps forward seems weird because you let go of your ED.
      But takinga break from social media can be really helpful. You DONT need to post everythinfg you eat or everytime you workout... trust me, its you who cares more than your followers. I know this myself. I felt like i had to post everything before but now i realise i DONT need to write everytime i workout or everytime i eat chocolate or everytime i do soemthing. I have the power to choose. So what if i only post that i worked out once a week, and i actually worked out 5 days a week. That doesnt matter i workout for ME, not to tell everyone else about it.
      Thats what you need to remember and realise.

      If social media and your IG is keeping you back from recovery, then its not helping and something you need to take a break from. I think you should only use it as HELP and if it doesnt do that, then there is no point having it.

    2. Thank you for answering. A break might be a good idea. :)

      Have a nice week

  3. I have come across a lot of recovery accounts, especially those on Tumblr. It seems to me that many of them just pull the person deeper into their disorder because they are constantly posting about it, discussing it, taking food photos, re-blogging things all to do with eating disorders. While some of this can be helpful and create a support network, I do wonder how much it actually helps people to recover. The ED becomes their identity and I wonder whether they become so attached to the 'recover community' that it actually prevents some of them from recovering completely. They see others suffering, so they feel it is ok, or even normal to suffer too. I am certainly not suggesting that all accounts fit into this, but the growing number of recovery blogs where the people are very obviously not recovered is quite worrying and very sad. I was on Tumblr for about a week before I realised it was too triggering and wasn't helpful at all. Instead, I find your blog much more useful, honest and realistic Izzy. I can feel supported and informed through your blog without being puled into a community of barely recovered people claiming to be well again.