Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Anxiety filled night

Last night was not a good night.... i just tossed and turned and just when i had turned off the light and closed my eyes. This round of anxiety over moving hit me hard..... it was like i realised that in just about 3 weeks time ill go to school and then come home to a new house.... never see the inside of this apartment again :( I think a part of what makes it a little more scary is that i have only seen/been in the new apartment once and i liked it. I truly did... but i never got the feeling of this is home/going to be my new home. But im good at adapting so i know it wont be so hard.
  Another thing which added to my anxiety was all my deadlines.. piling ontop of one another, my days are long and by the end of the day i dont want to study anymore, but that is what is needed to get everything done in time. I trly feel sorry for those who work after school. I would like to work - earn my own money but i know that i wouldnt have time for it... which also adds to guilty feelings. Though of course my parents understand this.. however once i  begin working ill be paying for food and rent as well (though hopefully in my own apartment!)

I lay half awake for several hours and dreaded today but i woke up at 6.30am this morning without an alarm (my alarm was set for 7.30am)  and i felt wide awak so i thought i might as well use the extra time and take Daisy for a walk. Clear my thoughts and start my day in the best way possible. So that is exactly what i did!
 It actually wasnt cold or dark outside. Everybody keeps saying its getting colder but i dont notice anything.. though i think i need to go to the doctor because i seem to always be super warm. And i dont even know why... unless its something with hormones/metabolism/thyroid

^^she hates the camera

Today its back to school and im sure all my thoughts will go away :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this :( it's hard when you know you'll probably never come back to the place you've grown so attached to. And moving does often involve anxiety. I totally understand you. But I'm sure you'll adapt and once you've spent more time in your new home it will feel better too :)
    I, on the other hand, feel cold a lot of times (not of malnourishment, just because I've always been like that ;))