Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Answers part 3

Do you like pistachios? M&m's?
I LOVE pistachios and M&Ms are ok... have you ever tried popcorn with chocolate M&Ms... thats a delicious combination :)
What's your favorite fruit? Vegetable? I may have asked this question before. 

Favourite fruit is definitely watermelon or strawberries :):) And vegetable is brocolli... i think i could survive on just those 3 foods... (No, ok i couldnt. I love chocolate, quark and nuts too much to give them up. But those 6 foods anyway!)

Do you watch any sports?

No... but i have started watching Crossfit games on Youtube. I find that quite inspiring and at random times i might watch a bit of a Chelsea match :)

What is your biggest fear?

I dont have so many fears but i do HATE walking/driving over bridges... brings back alot of bad memories and i feel very anxious walking too close to a bridge. And i dislike spiders alot. But i do have a fear of falling... Things like boxjumps, jumping, ice skating etc i cant do those because i am so scared of falling.

Do you wear a watch?

Nope. But when i was younger i got this watch from my dad and i wore it ALL the time. In the rain, in the bath, when i slept etc etc and then the strap fell off and my dad got it fixed but then i took it off once and left it in the car during the night in the winter and the watch stopped working so he got it fixed again because i loved the watch so much. But then only a short while later i lost the watch.,.... and never got a new one. hahaha :)

Do you think you'll live in Sweden all your life?

I dont think so. I like Sweden but i would like to work in the rest of Europe or in the U.S as well!

Do you get déjà vu?

Sometimes and its super weird...  

If you could know any language in the world what would it be?

French... because then i wouldnt struggle with it so much in school :/ haha. But maybe Italian or French :)

Do you give Daisy treats? Does she have any toys? How often Do  walk with our dog?

Yup :) Either bits of chicken or we buy dog treats... mostly when i walk with her so she follows my instructions and listens to me :) And i walk her everyday. As she is my dog i have to. Usually a short one in the morning and afternoon and my parents go out with her in the evening... or i have to do that as well. And then i go for long walks i.e 40+ minutes when i get a chance so roughly 2-3 times a week.

Do you ever have cereal for breakfast? If yes what kind?

No... sometimes granola. But we dont buy cereal. Its only the musilie and nut mix which i make myself :)

Do you sleep with stuffed animals or a baby blanket? Do you make your bed every day?

No and no :) Ive never really slept with stuffed animals. And i dont have time to make my bed... but i try to. I mean i pull my cover over in the morning but fixing the sheet i dont always do :/

What are 3 of your guilty pleasures?

Eating chocolate while reading fitness blogs :) Otherwise i dont really have any guilty pleasures :)

Are you reading or planning on reading anything right now?

At the moment im reading Slaughter House 5  for my english class.

What's your favorite holiday?

Summer break definitely!!! :)

What are some of the craziest yet fun things you have ever done? 

I dont know.. i once shook a cola bottle and then opened it... #YOLO right? ;)

Hahaha.-.... i wouldnt call myself so crazy. I really am quite a boring person! Ill get back to this if i think of any crazy but fun moments :)

Have you ever walked barefoot in the streets?

Yes, both in Ireland and in Sweden. Once after a party my feet hurt so much from my heels so i walked from the tube home carrying my shoes. And once during summer i got a real bad blister from my shoes so i had to walk carrying my shoes :) haha

If an actor should play you in a movie about your life, who would it be? 
I dont really know if i should answer this question based on looks or acting skills?  Though i dont know if i can answer either. But i Like Hayden Panettiere - i think shes a good actress and also super pretty!

How do you think your life would have been if you never moved away from Ireland?
I dont think i would have ended up feeling or looking or living my life like i do now. If i stayed in Ireland i am pretty sure i would have moved out of there as soon as i could. I guess i could say my ambitions and goals were too big for the country. Many people who grow up where i grew up in Ireland stay there... its like a community of generations of families. And there is nothing wrong with that, But for me and my family, that is not how we are. I mean my mum is Swedish and grew up in the capital of Sweden (Stockholm) and has lived in the city of many other towns and my dad grew up right in London. So they are city people, its just that when my sister and I were younger they wanted us to have an actual childhood. To play out in the grass and not be forced to grow up too soon - however i was forced to do that anyway. But i am glad that i had my childhood out in the country. But our plans were always to move out of there anyway, whether it would have been to Dublin, London or Stockholm, that we didnt know. 

  If i had stayed in Ireland i am pretty sure i would have started smoking or drinking as there is such a huge pressure and social pressure to do that out there. I dont think i would have been as strong as now and been able to say no.
   But also if i had kept going to the treatment centre (i.e psychiatric ward) i was going to, i dont think i would have been so healthy. It was a very awful place - according to me. They didnt even try to make me eat. It went weeks where i barely ate or drank anything and they just sat and stared at me. Asking me 10 times a day why i wasnt eating and didnt want to eat.
   Its hard to know how my life would have been like if i didnt move - or things didnt turn out the way they did. But i am happy that the cause of events happened so that i am the person i am now. I like Ireland... but not that much if i am honest. I would have moved as soon as i could anyway.

Whats your opinion about dreadlocks?

I dont have much opinion on them. Though i do admit, on some people they look awesome!!! (My dad actually had dreadlocks when i was younger, but i dont remember ive only seen pictures :)) It is a little unhygenic really, but i am not someone to judge and if someone likes them/wants them. Then go for it :)

Whats on your Christmas wishlist?

I actually have no idea what i want for Christmas... as my computer was both a birthday and Christmas gift.. ill be buying my own gifts this year for both my birthday and christmas, haha! :)
But here are some things which i do want...
A holiday somewhere warm
And a camera.... so that i can take better photos for my blog :)


  1. If you wish french lessons just ask me ! I am french !!!

    Experiencing super mega anxiety and panick attack some days.... I have just bought my first ever appartment by myself....And now parperwork has to be, book a moving company, repair small think in the appartment I am leaving...and so and so and so and all of this makes me super nervous and sometime just freak out so badly that i just want to burst in somedays (as today) I am so anxious that i im no more hungry and can even or want to eat.

    Even though i try to tell myself that I should not...that everything will be ok....but ....still....

    Yestarday I had a big node in the stomach...could eat and didnt either felt the need or will to eat....but to throw up of nervosity....Still I had my diner but not as much i am supposed to (not mentionning that I have put on 1 kilo in 5 days since I started slowly to refeed the may I am reading amalielee blog relating how she increased her meal and her fight and "because recovery is Worth it : + "your etopia" website...and I have to say it has been very very very inspiring and helpfull for me to decide to make a turn in my life and i had NOW to put 20 years anorexia behind me !!!) But ..... Support required ....!!!! I am freaking out for my weight gain.....

    Well ....I alos ate a bit more before going to bead: my fear food ...chocolate coconut granola.....fear fear fear food....have i been a little bit to optimistic ..... i do not know but so much anxiety after....

    Still have this node...still not hungry and still nervous and wants to throw up...
    But still forcing me to eat....

    Thanks izzy !

    1. Ohhh, I know what you mean about the moving :( While our family was moving I had lots and lots of anxiety and worrying and random tears (now things are better :)) It was so stressful and I felt so unsure of things and like so many depended on many. I can even imagine what it must be like doing all this alone, being responsible for so many things.
      I know its easier said than done and I have a hard time relaxing myself, but please try to stay calmer :) The title of one of Izzy's recent post "its not stress but how you react to it" and I think thats pretty true. Adopt good coping skills, find what works best for you. Do one thing a time and focus on that thing, then move to the next one.
      Maybe ask someone for help (friend/family/coworker/neighbor etc.) Because it IS hard to do this all alone and a little support can go a looong way.
      Great job facing a fear food!! Ive never tried that kind of granola but it sounds delicious ;)
      And with eating while nervous, well, I have to say its hard to eat when you're so nervous and have a knot in your stomach (AND recovering from an eating disorder). First of all, less worrying, less stress, more relaxing, more deep breaths. Stress doesn't make things better. And maybe if you're struggling with eating enough try eating more calorie dense food (bananas, etc.) Maybe try a new recipe, face a fear food, make some progress by making little steps!! I believe in you! :)
      I hope with time when you're done moving it will get easier.
      Just know that you're not alone and if you keep fighting it WILL get easier!!!
      Hope this helped somehow :)
      Watermelon, strawberries, pistachios mmmmm... :) I've said this before and I'll say it again I love when you answer random questions :)

  2. What fitness blogs do you usually read? could you please make a post about it? :)