Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Monday, November 3, 2014
6am wake up call this morning and all i wanted to do was turn off the alarm and sleep for a little bit longer. My brain feeling foggy... usch, its going to be tough this week. But now after breakfast i am wide awake and feeling much more energetic!!! Yup, food does that because... food = energy = feeling alive (hopefully. Unless you have other problems which are making you tired.)
Today however i ate a food i havent eaten in 2 years. Not because its a fear food of mine but because it was a binge food of mine back in 2012. When i was going through my phase of restrict-binge-purge then one of my binge foods was rice pudding. I could eat 500g-1kg of it in just one evening. I would stand by the fridge and just eat it with a spoon from the packaging. All of my binge foods were carbs... i would eat c.a 250g raisins (half a pacakage) in a go, followed by eating granola right out of the box, and then 2-5 cheese sandwiches and rice pudding as well. My body was so starving and it just wanted food. That is how the body works and why most people who diet regain the weight and more afterwards because first they eat very little followed by huge amounts because their body is so starved.
But back to the point.... once i stopped eating my binge foods for a while and went back to my meal plan i then stopped craving those types of foods. And since 2012 we have rarely had rice pudding in the house so i havent thought about it, but when we have had it i havent craved it. But this morning i thought, Why not. I liked it before so the problem isnt that i dont like it... its more that i didnt know whether it would trigger something in my brain. (Which is why its good to cut out binge foods because they trgger something in your brain, bring back memories making it easier to binge). But nope..... it was just deliciousness :) I havent avoided this food on purpose, as mentioned before i dont have fear foods. But this is just a food which isnt eaten so often in my household so its not a food i have thought about.
But remember, if you are going through binges, you CAN change it. But i reccommend regular meal times and a meal plan to follow. No "diet" meal plan. A meal plan with lots of food - so that your body isnt starved and you get the energy you need.
But back to the main topic?? Or i guess the above was the main topic really.... But today its school until 4. So im going to quickly schedule some posts or something so that there is something to read on here.
Howeveri have noticed that most of my readers and comments come during the night for me.... so im presuming you are from the U.S or canada or australia or somewhere where the time zone is different to here :) Im thinking whether i should reverse all my posts so that they post during the night for me and there is less during the day here..... Maybe. Though it would feel a little weird ;);)