Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, October 11, 2014

You can only eat whatever you want if you exercise?

Hi, I think this was a great post! (:
I follow many recovery accounts on Instagram because I'm trying to find some inspiration but sometimes it's pretty triggering to see how little these people eat at times. And then there is those almost fully recovered people and this one thing which I just can't understand and it's bothering me all the time: because feels like everyone is exercising, going to the gym, lifting weights and having very lean and good-looking body. Just like you have as well. (But I absolutely dont want to blame or judge you!! Just trying to explain my messy thoughts) So feels like it's pretty easy to say "it's okay to eat chocolate and junk food, it wont kill you or making you fat" etc. People who exercise that's not problem of course because they are so active and it doesnt affect their bodies. But like me: I dont have chance to go to the gym, I have no energy or motivation exercise many times in a week because I'm just not so active or have this huge passionate for exercising.(Of course it's something that I enjoy and I like go for runs and walks but it's just something which I dont like or want to do too often because otherwise I get bored with it)
So it's quite discordant when those people encourage to eat sometimes fully fat things and "unhealthy" foods etc. Of course it's easy to say that when you don't have to worry about these extra calories because it might be just a good thing for people who are exercising a lot.

But.. Hnngh.. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. ._. It just make me sad. Those who are active can eat about everything without getting fat noticeably and recommend the same for everyone. But it doesnt works in the same way with people like me. It's frustrating. It would be more believable if there were people who have this "normal" body shape with fat and without noticeably muscles and they would say "it's okay to eat chocolate!" 

What do you think about this? And hope this doesnt offend you because I think you are an amazing and joyful person and I really like your blog ♥

First off thank you, and im sorry i had never replied to your comment. I had planned to write a post but forgot about it.
I 101% understand what you are saying and i am pretty sure you arent the only one with those thoughts. I have had people tell me that i amnt fully recovered or that i dont portray someone who is recovered because i look the way i look.
  But i am not going to be made to feel ashamed for the way i look or the way i live my life (which i know you ARENT doing in your comment!)

And the truth is, there are many out there who claim they are recovered but still have an unhealthy weight or an obsession with exercise or have developed another form of an eating disorder. And it can be hard to tell the difference.
  I follow alot of people on IG who have recovered  from an eating disorder but all they eat is oatmeal, salads, chicken etc (yes i eat those things as well) but i also eat chocolate, ice cream, crisps etc

And maybe that doesnt feeling so convincing to you... you think Well she only eats that because she works out. Because she exercises alot. And maybe... maybe that might be why i dont gain weight but you can STILL eat chocolate, cookies, crisps etc without gaining weight.
  I dont eat those things just because i have exercised. Even on days i dont workout if i want chocolate i will eat some. My diet ISNT based on whether i exercise or not. Infact somedays when i workout i eat less than usual and somedays when i dont workout i eat more than usual... thats just how it is.

The important thing to remember is that everybody is different. The way i eat might not work for you. Just like the way you eat might not work for me. 
But balance and moderation works for EVERYBODY. Its just that what is balance or moderation is different for everybody. Somebody who works out might be able to eat a bar of chocolate everyday and not gain weight - though that wouldnt be recommended 'cus that isnt so healthy either.
But you need to let go of the idea or fear that if you eat a certain food you will gain wieght and that you cant eat it because you dont workout. Your body can handle all types of food and you can still eat a large quantity.
  If you are a normal weight and dont exercise do you need to eat c.a 2800 like i do? No... maybe not. If you dont workout so often (and that is OK. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. You dont have to like working out just because you see 100 other people doing it. Focus on what YOU like doing. Thats the most important) then you might just ened 2000-2200 or something. (i.e for maintaining weight.)

And remember i do have fat on my body as well, i get stomach rolls, i have cellulite on the back of my legs (last time i checked a few months ago, anyway!!haha) and that is ok. Im not going to skip eating chocolate just because of that.

You need to find balance in your own life... find what works for you. Dont copy others.
  And if you find people triggering - if you find me triggering (any of you) then i do reccommend you dont follow. Because i cant change the way my body looks and im not going to change my lifestyle either as it doesnt need changing. I will keep saying what i do, i will keep eating the way i do. I will keep working out the way i do. And thats what makes me happy.
  But not everybody likes working out, and that is fine :) Dont worry about that. Of course having some form of activity in your life is important as well.. even if its just a 20 minute walk, it gets you out of the house which is important.


I have never said that you can eat everything all the time... even if someone works out all the time they cant do that. But being able to eat all types of food without anxiety. Being able to enjoy food and being able to treat yourself when you want it - you can do that at any weight or size without worrying.
  The only thing is when your treats become 200g chocolate everyday.. then its no longer a small treat. 

(I know my answer isnt that great, but i hope i can reassure you all that its ok to eeat all types of food. You dont need to workout to compensate or to be some exercise-junkie just to eat a pizza. Forget about those worries, listen to your body! Trust yourself.)


  1. <3 this is just what i needed izzy today. as you probably already know im not really into workouts or anything like that. i just love to walk. but when i started trying to gain weight i felt a real big pressure to exercise lots still - my reason being... "yes I do want to gain weight, but I can't become fat or unfit". I realise now that my relationship with exercise is not really that healthy and it's something I really need to work on. I feel really guilty for eating properly, if I don't exercise, and feel that I should try and exercise more the day after to make up for my inactivity. It just really does seem as if the whole wide world is exercising or trying to lose weight and this makes it that little bit harder too.

  2. I think you are absolutely right!!! I get this when I see what my friends are eating.. Sure they do some Kind of sports, maybe dancing or Volleyball, but they don't workout every day or do hard Training every time, they are just... like moderately active and they don't force themselves to workout. But still, they eat chocolate, they have treats, they have fries and Pizza if they want and yes, sometimes they say things like 'now i have to workout a Little harder next time!', but I don't even think they actually mean it... And that anyways is about their thoughts, not about their actual eating Habits.
    And in the end, they all look very healthy, they are not super toned, I actually do't have one friend of whom I could say has visible abs! But None of them is big or only near overweight... They just have normal Body shapes, of course different.
    But this always Shows me that People can treat themselves, they dont have to always eat 'healthy' (or clean) to be healthy!
    Thanks for that post. :)

    1. First of all, thank you for answering my comment, Izzy. I really appreciate it <3
      And this comment above: it helped a lot and, I don't know.., it made me feel much better! (: