Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, October 4, 2014

You are NOT your eating disorder

One of the things in recovery is letting go of your eating disorder....  which can be incredibly tough as your ED has become your comfort and almost your identity. You become known as the person who skips lunch, or the person who only eats salad or just brings their own food with them. People no longer ask you to go out for dinner or ask you over for movie and snacks. People no longer ask you why you arent eating or if you want some cake, they already know the answer.

When i first began developing my ED and skipped lunch in school it only took a few weeks before nobody asked me whether i was eating lunch or not, whether i was hungry, whether i wanted to try something.... it was like they just accepted i didnt eat or that i had eaten beforehand. But they never suspected i had an ED ( not that i am aware of. However once i got admitted to hospital and my sister had posted a picture of me looking really skinny i am pretty sure the rumors spread, but i was never to find out or comfirm or deny them.)

But back to topic.... its easy to think of yourself as the person who doesnt eat. The person who is super skinny. The person who is sick... Thats your identity. The sick person.¨
  But the truth is, that ISNT your identity. That is just what you think of yourself and you need to change those thoughts...

YES, you can go out and eat. YES, you can go out with friends and eat lunch. You dont need to keep playing the role of being sick. You arent making anyone happy, you arent impressing anyone by skipping meals or being skinniest. You arent impressing anyone with your salad in your tupperware or your hours of cardio.

YOU  need to be the one who lets go, Who decides that you no longer want to be identified as the sick person. Think you could be the creative one... you could be the sporty one. You could be the musical person, the happy person, the smiley person..... any type of person, but you choose to be the sick one, why`?
I am known as the sporty and healthy one in my group of friends and i love it! I love being known as the active, sporty person. That is an identitiy which i WANT to  be associated with. I dont mind people thinking that of me.
  When i moved school i never told anyone about my past years because i didnt want people to identify me as the girl who HAD HAD an ED. That wasnt what i wanted.... i wanted to recreate myself and that is what i did!
  YOU can do that as well... detach yourself from your ED and your ED behaviour.

At first you might get surprised reactions when you ask to go for ice cream or when you take extra portions or when you actually eat with other people. But take those reactions as positive ones.- You are changing, doing something good, something that shocks people - in a good way. They are happy for you and THAT is what counts. Their reactions arent negative ones, they are happy that you are doing something you might not have done in a while.
  Take those reactions as positive ons and know that one day you eating wont be shocking, it will be normal just like anyone else eating!


You are so much more than your eating disorder. You need to find YOU. Because you are NOT the sick person. You are NOT your eating disorder.


  1. Great post Izzy!
    Letting go is so hard, I´m afraid that without my rules, habits and ed I will have nothing left. I know it´s absurd but that an honest fear of mine :(
    From this weekend on I´m focusing on breaking one rule at a time!

    Have a great weekend!

  2. Thank you for this Izzy. I could really relate to it. as i suppose i sort of do feel defined by my ed still sometimes too. The voice in my head tells me to not let go completely and to still try and not be normal. I've learnt to ignore it but it's true I let myself down sometimes. It's so so hard to let go completely and give up the habits you've been practicing for so long, that they have become part of you.
    For example...I know, I admit it to myself: if I think I have too much on my plate at dinner, or if it looks as if someone else has less than I do, I become anxious and tense up...the voice in my head says: YOU are the one who has to have the less. or: Wow, you are never going to eat all this! And you are not going to even try to finish it ok?
    i feel sad too sometimes as i worry that because i became that "girl" who doesnt eat out, who doesnt eat etc. i missed out alot and my social life just went down the drain. i avoided going out and stuff because i was afraid to eat, and so people just got tired of asking i suppose...but now i feel sad as i know if i was asked now i wouldnt hesistate to go along, but i cant really explain to people what happened to me and that im changed now.
    this post helps me to feel much stronger though - i know i cant change the past but well..i know i can still work on the future and focus on completely erasing all traces of my ed, and hope that people will begin to see the real me, the me without an eating disorder. xxx