Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, October 23, 2014

Its not until its too late that you will miss what you had

This morning i was reading this post: What the dying really regret about dying patients, and people who had cancer and the thing they missed most was their body. They regreted all the years they were displeased with their body or took their body for granted.
  But now it was too late... they cant go back to their old bodies. Spend hours dancing like they used to or have energy to go walking or other things they used to do.
So many people hate their bodies, want to change every little detail about their body... just focusing on the outside but forgetting the real reason we have a body. So that we can live... so that we can move.
  If we were meant to have thigh gaps, super flat stomachs and tiny arms... then that is what everybody would have. And everyone would be healthy looking that way.. but that is not how we are built. Humans are built to have bones, muscles, skin and fat. They all serve a purpose. We are supposed to move our body, have energy to go running - go hunting in forests. Our muscles help us lift heavy things, carry things, not be weak. Our bones are supposed to be strong to keep us standing tall and to keep us from breaking. Our skin covers our body to keep all our organs inside and fat is our protection and heat system. Fat is an essential part of our body.
  Just like the food we eat - carbs to give us energy, protein to keep us strong and healthy fats to give our brain and cells eneergy and to keep everything functioning in the body.
  Even our metabolism plays a very important role... it speeds up when you are more active or eat more... it uses more energy and makes you more hungry so that you eat enough when you are active. I.e the hunger and fullness feelings,. But also, when the body knows that it isnt getting enough energy... it goes into starvation mode. It wants to keep the body alive so some processes in the body are stopped or slowed down... they are seen as unnecessary energy expenditures. Thats why your hair becomes thing, you become cold and your hands and feet can turn blue/purple and be cold all the time... the circulation to your feet and hands slow down. And your hair, nails, teeth and bones arent getting the calcium, nutrients or energy to grow properly.
  When you are in starvation mode your body holds onto food and fat... keeping your protected. As well as making you more tired because 1)you arent getting the proper energy but also 2) your body doesnt want you to move as much. It wants you to just rest and not use so much energy when it knows that you arent getting the right energy to sustain your movement.

Your body is smart, SO MANY processes and different things are happening in your body every second... millions of things happening every second. And they all happen to KEEP YOU ALIVE. Think, when you get a virus your immune system fights to keep you healthy. It makes you tired and weak so that you can just rest and your body can fight the virus.
  Everything is in tune, working like a clock, everything has a role to play.

But what do you do? Well... you let your mind trick you and all you see is the outside. Your appearance. Not even caring about your insides... about your organs or your inner health. All you focus on is that your thighs are too big or you have fat on your arms or your hips? But in the end.... WHO CARES. Seriously... what does that matter?
  When you are dead, when you are in a grave... then you can be skin and bones. But WHY are you wasting your life trying to look like a skeleton? Scared of food... scared of fat on your body? Everyone has fat on their bodies, everyone needs fat on their bodies.

Stop focusing so much on your appearance or your goal body. Forget about those. Instead focus on inner health, on inner balance and peace. Focus on mental health....Why waste your life hating your body because one day you will end up without a body anyway.
  Why not use your body the way its meant to be used.... move your body (i.e when you are a healthy enough weight to do it!), laugh, eat delicious food (yes, your body can cope and handle all types of food!), hug people, smile, be nice to other people, rest and sleep, drink lots of water... find balance and peace.

There is more to life than your appearance. Of course being happy in your body is also important... liking the way you look. But health... innner health and mental health are so much more important than whether you have a flat stomach or not.
  If you dont like the way you look then change your thoughts instead of your body... happines wont come from losing 3kg or losing 10kg. Instead you need to work on your thoughts, on loving your body.
Change your thoughts not your body (my previous post)

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