Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Is 'clean eating' just another form of controlling food?

Yes... i think that 100% 'clean eating' is a form of controlling food. If you think that you can recover only eating clean foods then you are wrong.
  Infact i hate when someone tells me i am eating clean? Like what does that even mean...

I dont eat clean... i eat Healthy for ME. And the important part of that is the 'for me' thing. How much, what and when i eat is all about my body, my energy levels, my activity, my energy needs... i dont follow any diet trends or food rules. Of what to eat or when.
  I eat carbs at night, i eat after 6pm, i eat chocolate 1-5 times per week.... but all of that is healthy for me. Its what i like, its what works for me.

But this whole obsession of eating healthy or IIFYM or paleo or anything like that... when it comes to recovery or just when you have recovered. Stay away from them... Thinking you can recover by counting your macros or never letting yourself eat a sugared chocolate that isnt healthy. Now i know some might read this and think... but you dont need sugar. And im not going to write an essay about this, but the truth is...eating sugar in moderation doesnt kill you. And not counting calories or macros wont make you fat. Its about balance and moderation. Not just tracking everything you eat... Some people do have a daily food diary, which i dont think is a bad thing. It can be helpful to some people, but when you spend alot of time and energy so focused on what you cant eat or focused on numbers and grams of food, i dont think its healthy. It turns into another food obsession and compulsion... The thing you want to get away from in recovery.

You want to find happiness with food, enjoyment. Whether its pasta salad, baked potatoe, pizza, yoghurt, chocolate cake etc You should enjoy it and not feel bad for  eating it. Not worry about the grams or macros or whether it had sugar or sweetner etc
I think its great that there are different alternatives to food, i mean i LOVE raw food balls and raw food cakes, but i also love marabou chocolate and bagels. Its about being able to eat both in moderation!

So skip the clean eating, diets and other certain/restrictive ways of eating. Learn to listen to your body... you want that chocolate. Go for it. You want cereal and milk for dinner one day... well thats what you want. You want chicken and rice for a snack? Sure, do that. You want an extra portion of dinner, eat it.
   All of this is fine if it happens now and again!!! So learn to trust your bodies signals :)


  1. This post was exactly the right thing for me! :)

  2. You have a really great blog; it's very reassuring and calming for anyone who's suffered from an eating disorder. I only wish everyone who has had one could read it.

    Wonderful job!