Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, October 31, 2014

Ice cream and chocolate can make everything better

Its times like tonight that i wish i was a party girl... I wish that i could just drink loads of alcohol and not care. But i do care... i dont like what alcohol does to my body, i dont like how it makes me think, i dont like the feeling the next day. However when it comes to alcohol i am an all or nothing type of person - which is a little contradictory to what i wrote in my last post about food and binging. How food shouldnt be seen as an all or nothing type of thing. But i just dont see the point in taking 1 cider, why not have 4 while im at it. However at New years or out on a date then im fine with just a glass of wine or champagne but when it comes to parties either i dont drink at all or i drink lots.

On social media today all i seem to see is peoples halloween outfits and them getting ready to party and yes, a slight bit of jealousy is rising within me. Im only human. But i havent been invited to a party and neither do i feel like going out partying. But i guess seeing everyones photos makes me want to grab a bottle of wine, put on an outfit and head to a club. But that is just a sort of social pressure i guess... its like how some people see a picture of someone at the gym and suddenly they want to drag on their gym clothes and go to the gym just because they saw a picture or two...

Tonight im feeling like an 80 year old teenager.... what am i even doing with my teenage years? I guess from all the movies ive seen growing up ive expected my teenage years to be spent partying, drinking, late nights, falling in love, having my heart broken, all these perfect moments in school etc etc but thats now how life is. Life isnt like a movie... and if im honest, i am happy that im not some wild party girl. I much prefer waking up being clear headed and spending my day doing something productive.
     But sometimes i wonder.... what will i think of my teenage years 10 years from now. Will i even have any memories to tell or any photos or something to share? Or will my teeange years just be spent doing the same old. Same old??

All these thoughts... they are the ones that fuck you up the most. Expecting things to be a certain way but then they arent at all like you imagined :/

Ohh well i will spend my evening with ice cream, chocolate and granola. Its halloween afterall, have to celebrate it somehow ;)
   And my sister and I have also planned that someday we will go out for drinks and go to a club... Strange but im looking forward to it. I definitely feel i need to go out some night and just dance and drink a glass or two of something :) ( And no i dont promote drinking... these are just my thoughts ;))


  1. Good morning, how are you?
    I jut wanted to ask you something that is happening to me, and I don't know what to do.
    It is like a week or so, that all I crave are cookies and ice cream! I always make sure to treat myself once a day with something sweet, but recently I can't stop thinking about cookies or sweet... I don't know if it is because I'm slowly losing weight, and my body is asking me for more food, but why sweets?! All that I want to eat at the moment are milk and cookies, with tons of fruits... What can I do??

    1. If you are losing weight that is your bodies sign of saying it wants more energy, it doesnt want to lose weight so you crave things like chocolate, cookies, sweets. And if you arent eating enough then you also crave those types of foods.... Try to increase your portions and eat regular meal times. And keep treating yourself. You could be going through a phase of extreme hunger, but if its certain cravings you have then its often a sign that you are missing a vitamin or mineral or your body needs more energy. You can also try eating cookies and milk and fruit, see if that makes the cravings go away.

    2. Thanks a lot, in fact I think that is because this week I had a bad stomach flu, and I went through some hard workout...I will try to increase my portion and regain those few KGS and see what happen.

  2. I can totally relate to what youre writing in this post! Or more like: I felt like that in the past and now i actually do go to parties etc., but there are still a lot of things that i feel i miss out.. And I wonder if i will regret not doing those things or not experiencing it later.
    But.. I like the things I do and I enjoy it! Sure, sometimes I think my life could be better, but good experiences can come from anywhere, not just Party and drinking and romance, haha. :D So maybe I will remember different things when I look back, than other People, but still... I will have my memories. :)
    Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that this post made me thinking and I don't think you should feel bad about not going out etc. :) And I'm sure some People are jealous of your Kind of 'lifestyle' and they may think 'why didn't I exercise more and take care of my Body, maybe I will regret it in ten years'. Haha. :D Nobody's perfect. :D
    Lots of hugs!!