Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, October 2, 2014


Exhausted is not even the start of how im feeling at the moment. Hevay eye lids, slow working brain, tired body... sleep is the only thing on my mind.

So i am going to try keep this short :)

My morning started very early as i was going to meet everyone far out on the train station line so that we could tak 2 different buses even further out of Stockholm.
   First we were out in this far out forest where we did some small experiments and some walking and talking. Then when we had collected some data we took 2 buses back to Stockholm University where we spent the next 6 hours doing cell counting, experiments, graphing, mathematical counting etc etc
  By the end of it my brain felt like mush - and so did everyone elses so we sat and played word games and the smallest things made us burst into laughter as most of the time we didnt even know what we were saying. Infact i dont think ive laughed so much and hard as i have today in  a very long time!!! My cheeks were hurting on the way home :) But it was nice... it was a long day so it was nice with the breaks of laughter during all our concentration and work!

On the way home - even if i felt exhausted - i felt i should take myself to the shopping centre because i got money yesterday and i am in desperate need of new clothes. None of my clothes fit me anymore... either too big or too small (yup, very strange) and many have been washed so many times that their size and fitting is just weird. Im the type of person who just saves and saves money, or when i do buy something its often questbars or training clothes. So instead, this month i decided to actually spend my money on clothes and things which i need.
  SO i did that today, to just get it over with as i was exhausted!!!

After my 1 hour shopping and gotten both jeans and tops i went to the food store... only to buy a cola but i came out with a salad and 500g trail mix (and no cola!) hahaha. As i was going to be home alone and there is little to no food at the moment i decided i might as well buy dinner :)
   In the bowl that is only HALF of what i had actually bought... the other half was only chocolate and yoghurt covered things. However i ate all of them on the bus home!! I was so hungry. So it was only the salty ones left :)

I have this weird knot in my stomach at the moment... too little food during the course of the day and suddenly a whole pile of food at once. Not a good combination, but thats how it is some days.
  Tomorrow i have no school which is a relief because i now have 3 essays to write for school PLUS a 2 page lab report and a 5 page project/essay work on everything we have done today...
  So please be understanding that comments and emails might not be replied to. I try my best but all weekend i will be working on school work and i also need some time to just think and focus on myself :)


  1. Please take your time, izzy and don't forget to rest a little from time to time between all the work..
    If you find the time once, would you show us the clothes you bought? :) of course, only if you feel like it...


    1. Thank you :) Ohh yes I can do that today :)

  2. Forest picture are simply so beautiful !!!
    I its so resting to see them, especially as I just came out of the tube and landed on the asphalt and pavement...of the business centre ugly !!!

    (By the way my name is Stephanie and live in paris....just to allow you to know who I am: the one with parent issue and binge/purging....)

    Also Izzy thanks for your supporting messages, all of you thanks for your encouraging and boosting messages to help me to keep the head up, faith in me and keep on on the recovery determination and path !!!

    Also, I have decided to really move my A** and look for an apartment to buy for myself only !!!
    The one I live in if full of negativity and has a heavy, poisoned atmosphere....I need something new, a new life....make thing clear around me !!!

    1. I am glad to help :) And its good that you are now looking to improve your life, move away from the negativity :)
      I know you are finding it tough, but i was thinking when you feel really negative instead of commenting it here, maybe you can email me or write it down instead... as i have gotten a few emails about your negativity..... Just a suggestion :)

    2. Did my mails hurt readers? If so I am sorry I have hurt their feeling and will try not to do it again.

    3. Some people found them quite negative... and well this place is somewhere i want to be positive, most of the time... I udnerstand its a way for you to express yourself, but maybe you dont have to write it on here? Where alot of people read it as well?

  3. Could you give us an idea how to pile the "perfect food plate"?

    1. This is really hard to answer because it all depends on the individual... their lifestyle, weight, goals etc
      I mean if someone easily gains weight they might not need to eat the same way as someone who has it harder to gain weight.

      Example, because i have CF i eat lots of healthy fats to help increase my energy intake, whilst someone else who easily gains weight might need to focus more on vegetables.
      But if you are in recovery or just eating normally for dinner/lunch i would suggest c.a 40% carbs,30% protein and 25% veggies and 5% sauce... roughly :)
      Though dont follow that exactly because it all depends... some meals have more carbs i.e say you are eating pasta with vegetables and others might have more fat... like a salad with walnuts, cheese, avocado and dressing etc

    2. Can I take lentils, chickpeas, red beans or quark as protein? If so It would approx. how much grams ... and can I switch the sauce by a tablespoon of a nice and good olive oil ?

      I am vegetarian and we do not have Quorn here... nor vegetarian substitute (except weird processed vegetarian meat/sausages I hate as they taste really bad!)

    3. Yeah those all work :) But i wouldnt just have quark as your protein for lunch or dinner... and grams, i really cant tell you that.
      And yeah, olive oil is a good replacement for healthy fats or sauce :)