Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Emmys recovery story and advice

One of my lovely readers who has the blog: http://ganache-elf.blogspot.ie/, where she posts both delicious recipes and also about her recovery, decided to share her recovery story!


Hi everyone! My name is Emmy and I’m a twenty year old student living in Ireland. Only at the beginning of this summer I realised something which I had known, in my heart, for a long, long time…but was too scared to openly acknowledge to myself and to those I loved. That being, of course, that I had an eating disorder…and that I needed to act, and act FAST, before this horrible, horrible disease – a disease that has caused, amongst people of all ages and all walks of life, untellable suffering, heartbreak, misery, and despair - completely and utterly consumed me; before it could extinguish any possible chance of my obtaining happiness and health…before it could, essentially, destroy me. I was scared to death, but I knew that I had to be brave and let go – I had to make that one crucial step and take an active stance against my own E.D. It had taken control of me, but I was determined to turn the tables around and regain control of my own life again. And so that’s exactly what I did. I wasn’t alone in my battle, though, and I suppose this is what I drew courage and strength from as I attempted to navigate my way out of the darkness of my ED towards the light again. My family, my friends, Izzy’s amazing blog…they were all indispensable to me as I made my way towards recovery, and I can safely say, that if it wasn’t for them, I would never, never have made it to the stage at which I am standing right now. But also…I had my own little resource at hand which started off as something so small, but developed into something so much more and which I look back upon now with a sense of pride and joy. That resource being, my very own blog; a blog that allowed me to speak about my own experience of having an ED. And this was intertwined with something else, too. Despite the fact that I had been suffering from my ED for roughly, about seven to eight years, I have always harboured a strong passion for baking and cooking; and my fear of food – well, actually eating food, should that be? – did nothing to lessen my enjoyment of my all-time favourite hobby; I just adored working with, preparing, and serving food; but that’s when the enjoyment ended. For me, there was nothing pleasurable in eating food, even when I had made it myself with the utmost attention and care.

And when I decided I was going to give it my all and fight my ED…well, I realised that my love of baking and cooking could help me to enjoy food again; and that the feelings of worthlessness and ineptitude that I constantly had, crushing down upon me when I had my ED… You are useless, you are stupid, you are not good at anything!! – were in fact just untrue. Instead, it dawned on me…I do love food. I do love food, and I love to bake and cook, and I am in fact an awesome baker and cook. And in order to prove this to myself, I endeavoured to use my new blog as a sort of baking diary of sorts, allowing me to keep track of everything I baked and cooked and helping me to fully realise that I am, in fact, fully capable of making so many different kinds of delicious, scrumptious foods, baked items, meals…and as well as that, of course, that eating food is one of the greatest pleasures of life. And that’s exactly what my Cocoa-Stained Apron is all about.

I am so, so glad that I made that vital decision back in May…and if there was one thing that I hope that I can achieve in writing my Cocoa-Stained Apron, it is this…to help other people like me in choosing to step towards recovery, too; and to seek help and support in fighting their E.D. I want to spread awareness about what having an eating disorder is really like; and make everyone from people like me who had or have an eating disorder, or are at risk at developing one…and for those of you who may not have been touched by an eating disorder directly, but have heard about this awful disease and would like to learn more…I want the whole world to be able to understand and recognise just how damaging and destructive eating disorders really are; and to know that there is always hope, always: and there is never a time like the present to choose health and recovery!

As well as that of course, my Cocoa-Stained Apron is sort of a collaboration I suppose of my favourite ever recipes (and yes many of them do contain chocolate in some form or other…you might have already guessed that from the title I suppose. ;). Chocolate has to be one of my alltime favourite foods…but of course, when I was sick, I purposely, amongst so many other things that I loved, deprived myself of having any of this gorgeous, yummy treat. But now that I’m happy and on my way to recovery, I feel free and happy to enjoy chocolate once again, whether that be in solid or drinkable form…haha, best not to get me started on this subject I think ;) ).


I have been reading Izzy’s AMAZING blog ever since May: I remember, on that fateful day when I decided to fight my ED…I remember randomly googling “how to deal with fat feelings when recovering from an ED” because I was so, so afraid of how I was going to deal with the fullness and bloating that I knew gaining weight and recovering was going to curtail. Ever since then….I can’t stress how much Izzy’s blog means to me. I read it every day and it gives me so, so much comfort, inspiration, motivation and courage. Thank you so much for writing A Life Without Anorexia Izzy – and for helping me and countless others in fighting their inner demons and beating their eating disorders. And thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read this too…and that my story can show you, if you are, as I was, struggling to make that decision to fight your ED…I hope that my story will help make you realise that it IS the right decision and that recovery is so, so worth it…you just need to believe in yourself that you CAN and WILL do it. J Thanks again everyone, and best wishes for now and the future, Emmy x


If anyone wants to share their story/advice or wants to write a guest post for my blog you can email me: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com 
  I would love to post more of YOUR stories and advice as well :) :) So dont be afraid. Even if its just something you have learnt, some coping mechanisms you have or just a 2 sentence thing you want to share. Dont be afraid to email me. You can be anonymous, or if you have a blog you can link that as well :)

9 comments:

  1. Hi Izzy. I just want to ask you some random questions. Did anorexia impacted your teeth? Wouldn't a person who has eating disorder will have decayed teeth because lack of calcium in her food? But your teeth look good though :) (i want to slap myself for my funny English . Sorry about that )

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    1. My teeth are quite eroded as I purged so much and they are sort of clear. But otherwise they were affected so much... really i would have thought they would be in worse condition as i pruned so often and so much. But I guess I'm lucky :)

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    2. *purged not pruned :) haha auto correct

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  2. Went to the dentist a few times : brittle teeth ! Broke 2 of them !
    Think that yes anorexia impact teeth, especially as I have been for a very long time binging/purging (15 years)
    If do: do not brush your teeth just afterwards, but rinse your mouth out with water every hour or so during the day, you'll help to flush away any remaining acid that's in your mouth otherwise you strip some of the protective enamel off

    All the throwing up I did for all those years was driving acid from my stomach into my mouth and onto my teeth. Over the years this acid slowly but surely ate away at the enamel on my teeth - causing plenty of dental problems!

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    1. That's too bad. I hope you are well now. Have a nice day :)

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  3. Great job, Emmy! It's so great that you chose to recover and inspire others :) P. S. I looove chocolate ;)
    Olivia

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    1. :) awww thanks so much olivia! im really glad you liked it <3 I know -I adoreee chocolate in all its forms ;) I won't say it counted as a fear food when i had my ED, but i did really restrict how much I ate of it of course :( but now it's not very likely that i go through a day without it... I now feel happy to eat the foods I love :) hope you had a lovely day :) xxx

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  4. and thanks so much for sharing my story Izzy :) it really means so much! <3 xxx

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    1. :) No problem, it was a great story and advice!

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