Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Do i ever wish to be skinnier again?

A question which i have been asked recently is whether i ever wish to be skinnier again.... and this question is hard to answer. Or not really because 98% of the time i would say no. I would never wish to go back to how i was before, look how i did before.
  But then there is that 2% of the time. That 2% which is the days when i feel really low or have very bad body image days. Or even some days when i see a photo of me and just feel repulsed, think to this how i look`? Somedays when i feel very low and self conscious i want to shrink back to that skinny girl i was before... i miss the skinny arms, the skinny legs etc
  But those are days when im feeling low. Feeling sad and just disliking my appearance. Those thoughts dont last more than a few hours or a few days at most. But its never something i act upon because i know truthfully... no matter how decieving some pictures may look. I know i wasnt happy.
  I felt fat even when i was skinny. I disliked myself but also i looked the way i looked because of unhealthy behaviours. This is something which cant be forgotten.
  Of course, its in my genes that i am tall and skinny. Ive been that way all my life, and because of my CF its harder for me to gain weight - but not impossible. So all my life, apart from when i recovered from my eating disorder i had been on the border of, or underweight.
I can find sometimes i look at myself now and can either think i am too big. My arms and legs too big and other times i look at myself and think i am still so skinny? How have i changed at all in the past 2 years.
Its a difficult thing with body image, the way you look at yourself. Because in a matter of minutes you can go from feeling ok in your body to suddenly having fat feelings and feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin. Anything to escape and leave your body.
  But you need to be able to cope with those feelings... not let your body image ruin your day or life.

I am 98% happy with my body and body image. I wouldnt want to go back to before or be skinnier. I like the way i look, im happy in my body.
  But we all have what we consider imperfections and things we would like to change about ourselves. But we cant focus on those things, we need to focus on the positives even if its that you only like your body and body image 51% and  dislike yourself with the other 49%.... then focus on that 51% and know that someday you might love yourself 53% and dislike yourself that little bit less.
Dont focus on the negatives and dont focus on skinny, focus on health.


  1. Yes you are right we must focus on our health rather than thinking about other things and negative thoughts.
    Is this you in the pics.

  2. You must be happy with your body you looks amazing.
    but you must keep continue doing exercise workouts. healthy living should be our goal