Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, October 2, 2014

Day 1. If you won the lottery you'd

Im a day late with starting this challenge but like i say, better late than never :)

So today im going to post both day 1 and day 2 of the challenge :) Perfect as i am going to be away and busy all day!

If i won the lottery i would:

1)Go an a no budget spending spree...... buy clothes, training clothes, food, questbars, order all the things i want. Im not materialistic, but if i had alot of money in my hand. I wouldnt be shy on spending it anyway :)

2) Donate to Cystic Fibrosis trust

3) Take my family to all expenses paid trip to the spa and buy them dinner

4) Travel.... To the U.S, U.K,France ,Italy, Spain, Hawaii etc etc

5) Buy a house for my parents

6)Buy an apartment for myself and one for my sister

7) And if i had left (though doubt it by this point) i would save it :)

All my life i always said if i won the lottery i would buy my parents a house and i would save for university... but here in Sweden university is free - though the litterature costs quite alot. So its important to have money for that.... but the actual enterance of going to University doesnt cost :)

If YOU were to win the lottery what are the top 3 things you would do? :)


  1. About your previous post: "you can make a change Anytime! "....
    Well the change has to be today, no need to win to the lottery even though I'd like to (I'd stop working for a while and travel all around the world and buy myself a superb cosy apartment !!!!)

    Last night I binge /Purged....and this morning...well ....I am a piece of shit !!
    I hate myself for having done this....and just because....why ????? I was upset, angry, despaired, exhausted, angry phone call from my parents (I wrote about it yesterday).....

    Each time it happens I tell myself IT IS THE LAST TIME YOU DO THIS!!!!

    But no I do it again again and again !!! Endlessly! So that's why I am a shit !! (I have been able to last a year without binge/purge...why can't I do it again ? I surely can ....I don't have enough willpower ? I looser??)

    Miserable, I am miserable this morning....Woke up...forced myself to eat...and right now I will force myself to eat something....It is not the moment to start and skip meals....whatever happened the day before.....

    I do not know what to do with myself !!!

    1. I know that deep down in your heart, you know exactly what to do. Have faith in yourself. You have to fight. Maybe each time you want to purge, think about how purging will effect your beauty. Beauty of your teeth. Your teeth will be eroded if you keep purging. You have to keep calm. If I can do it, why you can't? Your enemy is yourself. Don't let yourself ruins your future. Don't let yourself ruins your happiness. Please take care of yourself. I don't know who you are and vice versa but I want you to remember this; EVERYDAY IS A SECOND CHANCE

    2. Ti the anonymous who answered. Very well written.

      You are not worthless or a piece of sh*t as you called yourself. You ARENT. People mess up in life, that's ok. You can fix it, learn from your mistakes. Sit down and just keep calm. Don't listen to the voice in your head. You have to keep fighting it. Keep moving and looking forward.
      You can't give up because then things will never get better... Focus on to the future. And being able to live a life you want and enjoy!

  2. WAIT! University in Sweden is FREE?! I am looking at a loan of about $30,000 (189362 in Swedish money) for my three year degree!

    1. Ohh wow.... i am privaliged that university is free here!!
      You can move to Sweden and study free and live with me so you also have free/cheap housing!!! :) We can make yummy meals together and workout together :) ... Tempting, right? :)

  3. Hmmm... If I won the lottery I would (same) get all the stuff I need/or want. Pay for college. Buy a house for my parents and a place for myself. Donate it. Not sure where but maybe an orphanage? Bring my whole family together. Fly them to one place as most of my family is in either Russia or USA. Help out my family/friends if they need it. Plan a big trip with my family&friends to wherever. Maybe New Zealand or Europe. Oh and (good idea ;)) save some hopefully :)

    1. :) :):) All very good ideas :)
      Lets hope that we both win million doller/euro lotteries :)

  4. I am so jealous of you getting free university haha. So I would pay my 9000 a year first (thank you British government...)! Then...more travelling as I am currently loving my year abroad and never want it to end haha. Also holidays for my family...and lots of fun adventures with friends :D Also, I really want to do a neuroscience degree when I have completed my language one as early last year I decided I want to go into mental disorders research, but I am worrying about funding that :/ Money<Dreams??? IDK! However I would also love to go to Theatre school. On a more serious note I would love to pay money towards mental health awareness campaigns as well as helping to fund further research into mental illnesses such as ED's, alzheimer's, schizophrenia etc...

    1. :) Thats always the problem money versus dreams... but i guess working to get money to fulfill your dreams is the only way really :):) Good luck with all your studying and dreams :)