Back to Ireland for Christmas 2010. I had been at Mando for c.a 7 months where about 6 months had been spent as an inpatient. It wasnt me who wanted to go to Ireland infact i really didnt want to go, but my mum got me out of Mando. I had basically told her if i go things will go wrong, I already knew it. I had decided before hand that now was my chance to lose the little weight i had already gained - to restrict, exercise, purge if needed. I didnt even want to try giving healthy a go.
The awful trip started in a bad way as way... when packing i was supposed to bring Scandishake mix (a supplement, high energy milkshake powder )with me to Ireland but i didnt pack them and my mum was too busy with other things to remember them. And from there it went down hill..... crying, screaming, anxiety, self harm, weight loss, threats, avoiding family, having family scream at me, ruining everyones christmas. Came back to Sweden, had lost alot of weight, was in a very bad mental state and was immediately made an inpatient again. That trip was one of bad memories, guilt and anxiety.
This is between Disneyland Paris and New York. I really cant choose between the two because they were both awesome and memories i will never forget! Ive already written so much about these 2 trips so i will avoid rewriting it all :)