Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, September 7, 2014

The first steps of recovery

After thinking about it for a while i realised that no stage in recovery is easier than the other... Beginning to recover, beginning to face fear foods, beginning to socialize again, trying to overcome the half recovery stage and finally letting go of your eating disorder. They are all stages, with no directions... no manual of what to do, what to expect, how to act. Its a fumble in a dark night.... but you need to keep going. To keep fighting that voice in your head.

Taking the first steps towards recovery is tough... for so long you have listened to the voice in your head but now you want to fight against it.

My first tip is to give 150% towards recovery, everyday. Its not enough to think, oh ill eat breakfast but then decide to skip both lunch and dinner... that's one step forward and 2 steps back. Instead you need to accept the fact that It will be hard. One of the hardest things you will have done. There will be anxiety and guilt, or maybe you are just really lucky and super motivated that actually... its not that hard. Everyone is different, and if its not hard then that is AWESOME. :) It will make recovery easier :)
   But you need to follow your meal plan, do what your doctors/parents/staff say. YES, you will go against the voice in your head, but that is what you need to do.
  Think, if you want to live life the way you are living now, then keep doing what you are doing. But if you want a change you have to make it.
  But also, don't think you can be healthy with an under weight, or be healthy but still have fear foods. That's not true recovery... all these ED behaviours and ED thoughts, YOU need to fight to get rid of them.

Second, Seek help and support. Whether its your family, friends, partner, a therapist or even a doctor. They should all be there to help, support and motivate you. No, they might not understand what you are going through, but having someone to talk to, someone by your side or someone standing over you, making sure you eat... that's important and helpful in recovery. Don't suffer in silence.

Know that recovery takes time. Don't expect to recover in a month or in 2 months... give it time. A minimum of 6months... Maybe you only need to gain a few kilo, or maybe you don't need to gain weight at all. But an eating disorder is a mental illness, its the thoughts you need to get rid of .And that takes time... its a process of becoming stronger than the voice, not listening to what your ED tells you. Learning to love yourself, improve your self esteem. Learning to live life again and learn new healthy coping mechanisms.
 But also, the longer you feel healthy, both physically and mentally the less likely you are to relapse.

Set up goals and motivators. Things to keep you going, to remind you of WHY you chose to recover in the first place. Maybe have a goal set up that when you reach your goal weight you will do something you've wanted to do or buy yourself something you've wanted.
Last but not least, one of the most important steps is to Want recovery for YOU. Its not enough to just want to recover for your family or partner. Or because you want to go on that holiday in 2 months time... but you have to want it for yourself. To know that there is more to life than this... that you don't have to suffer, be unhappy, live with all the thoughts going round in your head. But also to remember that the work has to come from YOU. Nobody else can do it for you, and either you can choose to recover in 6 weeks time or that it takes you 6 years to recover... that choice is up to you. But you have to let go of your ED sometime. Recovery should be YOUR choice... though yes of course, sometimes you need that kick in the butt to get you to actually choose recovery.

Remember, if you aren't recovering from your ED, you are dying from it.


  1. You give really good advice! :) I wanted to ask you something:I know it's good to face your fears/
    triggers, but how many is enough in one period of time? I'm afraid once I face a big fear of mine I'll be overwhelmed and fall back, just like all the other times :( I don't want to this all over again
    Anyway, have a good nights sleep! :)

  2. Thank you so much this was so inspiring!! I'm going into intensive treatment for AN tomorrow and I'm so nervous! I feel so much fatter than everyone else there :( do you have any tips on how not to feel the fattest? My care worker tells me I'm not fatter but I can't help but think they're lying to me?? Tori x

    1. Hi :). It doesn't matter whether you're the lowest weight or not, and probably everyone else there is thinking that way :)

    2. Thank you for your advice anon :) I went in to treatment today and it was ok! Tori x

  3. Är det sant att man väger mer efter anorexin än innan? För att typ förbränningen och ämnesomsättningen sjunkit ? Vill Inte bli större än jag varit innan :/

    1. Näee de måste inte vara så... men man måste vara en hälsosam vikt.. om det innebär att man har BMI 19 eller BMI 22 beror på hur kroppen reagerar. Om man har förstört sin ämnesomsättning för mycket kan det leda till lite högre vikt, men så länge man försöker öka kalorier under viktuppgången så borde det bli ok.

    2. Ok tack.
      Jag vet itne om jag förstört min ämnesomsättning så, men det Könns inte som att den kommer vara densamma som den skulle va om jag inte blivit sjuk :/ jag har en normalvikt men är rädd för att fortsätta öka!
      Har aldrig varit så sjuk att jag blivit inne på dygnvård men jag har varit underviktig och haft många bakslag under 5 år...

  4. Thank you so much. This is just what I needed to read. Your advice is so right.

  5. I have bookmarked this post so that I can read it EVERYDAY.